Anonymous
07/19/2023 13:47
Subject: Writing violent stories
This is very concerning.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 13:45
Subject: Writing violent stories
There’s a book, I believe it’s called Boys Adrift, that talks about the role violent stories play in development. I’m sure it’s similar for girls. Like violent dreams, they play a role and not necessarily bad. The author writes that he’s unconcerned about impersonal, entirely fictional violent stories written by children. He’s concerned about personal ones involving specific, real-life people. For example, the story of a fictional soldier losing a limb in war is fine. The story of the child’s dad hurting the child’s mom is not fine.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 13:39
Subject: Writing violent stories
I don't really see this as any different than grown women who are obsessed with true crime.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 11:28
Subject: Re:Writing violent stories
When I discovered my kid was reading fanfiction online, I took everything away for 6 months. We had a long conversation about it. What I saw was very disturbing and inappropriate, and I did not want her reading it anymore.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 11:07
Subject: Writing violent stories
I would take a look at her search history to find out if she is on adult erotic literature sites.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 11:05
Subject: Writing violent stories
Anonymous wrote:Does she do video games?
???
Anonymous
07/19/2023 11:00
Subject: Writing violent stories
Anonymous wrote:I wrote stories about abuse and killing people as a teen. It’s just a side of imagination. I was never abused and never around guns or killed anyone. Just creative exploration.
Same. I used to write lengthy stories about kids enduring all kinds of trauma (abuse, illness/death, fires, etc.) I had a pretty idyllic childhood and ended up being a trauma therapist.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 10:12
Subject: Writing violent stories
It may also be her way of grappling with concepts she wasn’t quite old enough to deal with, if you’re correct that it stems from TV watched during COVID restrictions. She’d have been only 11 or 12 at the time, right?.
When kids are young, they use pretend play, but as they get older, writing can play a similar role.
But honestly, it’s a much better way to deal with boredom than filling her head with even more nonsense from TikTok or YouTube. If it were my daughter, I’d encourage her to keep at it. (Mine is a voracious reader with a vivid imagination, but has unfortunately never showed any interest in writing.) What about buying her a book of creative writing prompts that might give her some alternative ideas to work with?
Don’t mention her current content, just say you noticed she’s been writing a lot, and you thought she might like this cool notebook and nice pens, and you spotted this creative writing book that seemed interesting.
When kids are young, they use pretend play, but as they get older, writing can play a similar role.
But honestly, it’s a much better way to deal with boredom than filling her head with even more nonsense from TikTok or YouTube. If it were my daughter, I’d encourage her to keep at it. (Mine is a voracious reader with a vivid imagination, but has unfortunately never showed any interest in writing.) What about buying her a book of creative writing prompts that might give her some alternative ideas to work with?
Don’t mention her current content, just say you noticed she’s been writing a lot, and you thought she might like this cool notebook and nice pens, and you spotted this creative writing book that seemed interesting.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 05:46
Subject: Writing violent stories
Op here - thank you so much for this friendly advice - I have been scared because she is such a kind and thoughtful teen and I feel like I should have stopped this sooner and now it seems like a habit and a way to vent - but thanking for making me feel better
Anonymous
07/19/2023 04:37
Subject: Writing violent stories
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You need to have a conversation with her, obviously. It's not going to go over well, she's going to be furious you found it and she's probably going to put walls up when you discuss it with her. Here are the important things for you to keep in mind
1. Don't get mad, try to keep your voice as even as possible
2. Don't accuse or assume. Don't tell her it isn't healthy. Don't tell her that she's lying by saying everything is fine. Just listen and express your concerns
3. Ask her why these interest her. Ask if her if there is something about them she finds interesting? Does it help her escape? Where did it stem from?
I enjoy messed up books. I've read many a books and stories that come with a warning beforehand due to their graphic nature. I find that I consume them more when my anxiety is flaring or when I feel a bit flat and detached (not full blown depression). It just helps me escape a bit and the brutal part of the stuff I read is kind of a cathartic way of getting some of my darker emotions settled. Her writing these things may be a way for her to get some darker feelings out. Which is worthy of a discussion obviously.
I don't know, I guess my suggestion is to come at it more from a curious standpoint than an overly concerned and freaked out standpoint. She's going to be embarrassed and mad, so you really don't want her to put walls up.
M
Thank you - this is helpful - I feel like she is writing these things to calls her down - as a parent I just wish I knew what she is so angry about and sad about but she says everything is fine
I'm not diminishing it, but she's 13. She just may be angry and stressed because she's 13. Just try to make sure she knows you're a safe person to talk to (my mom wasn't and that was really hard) and pay attention to anything that may be amiss as time goes on. And while I would have hated it as a teen, keep checking her phone and texts and SM (hidden too) to make sure nothing is going on there.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 04:03
Subject: Writing violent stories
I wrote stories about abuse and killing people as a teen. It’s just a side of imagination. I was never abused and never around guns or killed anyone. Just creative exploration.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 02:42
Subject: Writing violent stories
Anonymous wrote:You need to have a conversation with her, obviously. It's not going to go over well, she's going to be furious you found it and she's probably going to put walls up when you discuss it with her. Here are the important things for you to keep in mind
1. Don't get mad, try to keep your voice as even as possible
2. Don't accuse or assume. Don't tell her it isn't healthy. Don't tell her that she's lying by saying everything is fine. Just listen and express your concerns
3. Ask her why these interest her. Ask if her if there is something about them she finds interesting? Does it help her escape? Where did it stem from?
I enjoy messed up books. I've read many a books and stories that come with a warning beforehand due to their graphic nature. I find that I consume them more when my anxiety is flaring or when I feel a bit flat and detached (not full blown depression). It just helps me escape a bit and the brutal part of the stuff I read is kind of a cathartic way of getting some of my darker emotions settled. Her writing these things may be a way for her to get some darker feelings out. Which is worthy of a discussion obviously.
I don't know, I guess my suggestion is to come at it more from a curious standpoint than an overly concerned and freaked out standpoint. She's going to be embarrassed and mad, so you really don't want her to put walls up.
M
Thank you - this is helpful - I feel like she is writing these things to calls her down - as a parent I just wish I knew what she is so angry about and sad about but she says everything is fine
Anonymous
07/19/2023 02:19
Subject: Writing violent stories
You need to have a conversation with her, obviously. It's not going to go over well, she's going to be furious you found it and she's probably going to put walls up when you discuss it with her. Here are the important things for you to keep in mind
1. Don't get mad, try to keep your voice as even as possible
2. Don't accuse or assume. Don't tell her it isn't healthy. Don't tell her that she's lying by saying everything is fine. Just listen and express your concerns
3. Ask her why these interest her. Ask if her if there is something about them she finds interesting? Does it help her escape? Where did it stem from?
I enjoy messed up books. I've read many a books and stories that come with a warning beforehand due to their graphic nature. I find that I consume them more when my anxiety is flaring or when I feel a bit flat and detached (not full blown depression). It just helps me escape a bit and the brutal part of the stuff I read is kind of a cathartic way of getting some of my darker emotions settled. Her writing these things may be a way for her to get some darker feelings out. Which is worthy of a discussion obviously.
I don't know, I guess my suggestion is to come at it more from a curious standpoint than an overly concerned and freaked out standpoint. She's going to be embarrassed and mad, so you really don't want her to put walls up.
1. Don't get mad, try to keep your voice as even as possible
2. Don't accuse or assume. Don't tell her it isn't healthy. Don't tell her that she's lying by saying everything is fine. Just listen and express your concerns
3. Ask her why these interest her. Ask if her if there is something about them she finds interesting? Does it help her escape? Where did it stem from?
I enjoy messed up books. I've read many a books and stories that come with a warning beforehand due to their graphic nature. I find that I consume them more when my anxiety is flaring or when I feel a bit flat and detached (not full blown depression). It just helps me escape a bit and the brutal part of the stuff I read is kind of a cathartic way of getting some of my darker emotions settled. Her writing these things may be a way for her to get some darker feelings out. Which is worthy of a discussion obviously.
I don't know, I guess my suggestion is to come at it more from a curious standpoint than an overly concerned and freaked out standpoint. She's going to be embarrassed and mad, so you really don't want her to put walls up.
Anonymous
07/19/2023 02:15
Subject: Writing violent stories
Does she do video games?
Anonymous
07/19/2023 02:09
Subject: Writing violent stories
I found my 13 yr olds stories on her phone and in a notebook and am very concerned now. It’s basically fanfiction and she seems to be obsessed with it when she’s bored. The writings are full of words like abuse, slut, hands up shirts, gangs, guns
Not sure where this comes from but am concerned - our oldest child never was into this- I think it started from a tv series during COVID but not sure - don’t know what to do
Not sure where this comes from but am concerned - our oldest child never was into this- I think it started from a tv series during COVID but not sure - don’t know what to do