Anonymous wrote:Most of us don't have to work as hard as you do to look great.

Most of you all don’t look great at all, so there’s that.

But of course this is why men want a “natural beauty.” Ideally your partner would be gorgeous without it annoying you. I’m surprised OP made it to middle age without getting that. And that’s why most of us try to keep the struggle a secret. Or as some say, keep the mystery alive.

Op here. I spend 30 mins a day on skincare…..washing twice a day, exfoliating every other day, sunscreen, moisturizer, gua sha, eye cream, lash serum, and weekly facial. I spend 30 mins a week on nails (I don’t do gel or anything fake).

Anonymous wrote:Spending four hours a week on skincare seems totally nuts.

This one jumped out at me too and I have had acne and problem skin my whole life.

But now I want to know what she's doing! Do you count facials, botox, fillers, and such appointments? Or do you mean it takes that long to exfoliate and moisturize?

On only having salads at night, I think that would be a bummer in terms of going out for dinner. I don't really eat a lot at breakfast (coffee and maybe oatmeal) but I'd hate to give up all dinners forever. I'm 44 and so far no changes since I was in my 20s in terms of metabolism (my cycle is also regular, etc. so I'm sure it's coming at some point....)

Most of us don't have to work as hard as you do to look great.

Spending four hours a week on skincare seems totally nuts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

This - it takes the fun out of life.

I do love men who expect women to be thin and attractive but want to believe it occurs without effort or money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Yoga helps maintaining a strong core. 5 hours in a gym is not a low. I spend 10/week (2-3 workouts) and also on a strict diet (only salad at night. no bread, sugars, alcohol). It take a great will to preserve body and looks after 40 for women

I’m mystified what you could be spending 4 hours on weekly for skin and nail care. One pedicure lasts 4-6 weeks and fingernails take 1/2 hour a week tops and that’s every other week. Skincare takes ten minutes a day max.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How does yoga help you lookswise?

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

This - it takes the fun out of life.

Anonymous wrote:How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

On a weekly basis I spend 5 hours at the gym, 2 hours at yoga, 4 hours on skincare and nails.

How much time is this taking?. Looking good is nice but if it takes away time from getting to know you as a person. Is it really worth it.

And no one wants to hear about your very special diet and the million things you can't eat.

Basically by middle age most people are looking for depth not just looks when it comes to long-term

Stop living for various rando guys you meet from the internet. Start living your own fabulous healthy life and having your own interests.

You handle it with utmost grace. Anything else is inherently unattractive.

I try to stay attractive by working out, eating healthy, and having a disciplined beauty regimen. Men I date appreciate that I look good. I’m middle aged and all of this stuff takes more time and money as I age. Even though guys like that I look nice, many don’t want to support the stuff I have to do to keep up. For instance, they may resent the time it takes or that I have to be strict with my diet. How do others handle this?