Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a free country. People are entitled to be foolish. And a fool and their money are quickly parted and all that ...

Right? People do this at all ages, but when they get old, younger people think they are second guess their judgement.

Most people have worked for 40 years to do what they want when they are older (if they have the health and money).

Leave your relative alone. Are you worried you will inherit less if they are happy now?

OP here. There is only SS to pay the bills (no retirement savings) and nothing to inherit. House was refinanced in 2021 for 30 year mortgage and another relative is making the payment on that. This is strictly about concern that with a new car payment there won’t be enough money for basic essentials.

Anonymous wrote:OP, not much you can do and it sucks. My ILs probably had 10-20X in retirement savings compared to my parents, whose biggest indulgence in their latter years was an ice cream cone a couple times a week. And my ILs have pretty much spent it all and may be here for another 10 years. One of them would only be able to reside in a memory care unit if they had to leave their home. DH was so great with my parents, so I don't feel like I can complain - yet it didn't have to be this way.

This example isn't particularly compelling, TBH. Spend your latter years living by "indulging" in a couple of ice cream cones a week? So you can keep a healthy bank balance which will only be siphoned off in no time by a long term care facility?

The fact is that if a person has no income or assets, Medicaid will take over their long term care. My mother scrimped and saved and didn't fully LIVE or enjoy her retirement because she wanted to save it for her care. Well, guess what. All her savings was blown through in a matter of months at a facility and she wound up on Medicaid anyway. She stayed in the same facility, got the same care, the bill was just paid by Medicaid.

I wish, wish, wish she had taken that cruise, gone on that trip, gone ahead and bought the full-price dress and had the time of her life with her hard-earned money and made memories with all of us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does “drawing down SS” mean?

NP, but I think they mean this relative's income has been social security for 10 years (which they started taking at 62, which is early and means a reduced benefit amount), and no job. So -- their income is fixed and probably not very high.

But it’s not an asset one can “draw down”.

Just stop. You know what OP meant. OP is looking for advice and she effectively communicated the problem.

OP, I don’t know that you can do anything except to try to reason with them. People make bad decisions every day. Just don’t feel like you own their problems or offer to do anything beyond helping them figure out alternatives to another car (or whatever) - like a bus or an Uber.

Or, OP isn’t as financially astute as she claims to be, and probably should just MHOB.

Anonymous wrote:It's a free country. People are entitled to be foolish. And a fool and their money are quickly parted and all that ...

Right? People do this at all ages, but when they get old, younger people think they are second guess their judgement.

Most people have worked for 40 years to do what they want when they are older (if they have the health and money).

Leave your relative alone. Are you worried you will inherit less if they are happy now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does “drawing down SS” mean?

NP, but I think they mean this relative's income has been social security for 10 years (which they started taking at 62, which is early and means a reduced benefit amount), and no job. So -- their income is fixed and probably not very high.

But it’s not an asset one can “draw down”.

Just stop. You know what OP meant. OP is looking for advice and she effectively communicated the problem.

OP, I don’t know that you can do anything except to try to reason with them. People make bad decisions every day. Just don’t feel like you own their problems or offer to do anything beyond helping them figure out alternatives to another car (or whatever) - like a bus or an Uber.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does “drawing down SS” mean?

NP, but I think they mean this relative's income has been social security for 10 years (which they started taking at 62, which is early and means a reduced benefit amount), and no job. So -- their income is fixed and probably not very high.

But it’s not an asset one can “draw down”.

People "draw" social security benefits. I think that's why OP is (incorrectly) using that phrase. But yeah, you wouldn't "draw down" social security. You would just "draw" it.

OP, not much you can do and it sucks. My ILs probably had 10-20X in retirement savings compared to my parents, whose biggest indulgence in their latter years was an ice cream cone a couple times a week. And my ILs have pretty much spent it all and may be here for another 10 years. One of them would only be able to reside in a memory care unit if they had to leave their home. DH was so great with my parents, so I don't feel like I can complain - yet it didn't have to be this way.

I am not aware of anything relatives can do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does “drawing down SS” mean?

NP, but I think they mean this relative's income has been social security for 10 years (which they started taking at 62, which is early and means a reduced benefit amount), and no job. So -- their income is fixed and probably not very high.

But it’s not an asset one can “draw down”.

It's a free country. People are entitled to be foolish. And a fool and their money are quickly parted and all that ...

Anonymous wrote:What does “drawing down SS” mean?

NP, but I think they mean this relative's income has been social security for 10 years (which they started taking at 62, which is early and means a reduced benefit amount), and no job. So -- their income is fixed and probably not very high.

What does “drawing down SS” mean?

Anonymous wrote:How would the warning help? She already told you she we ants to buy a car, so what can you do about it? Nothing right?

Well that is literally the question.

How would the warning help? She already told you she we ants to buy a car, so what can you do about it? Nothing right?

Relative is 72 and has been retired 10 years (drawing down SS at the first opportunity/lowest amount) but has spent the whole time convinced she was going to go back to work after overcoming one health problem or another. Shops and spends too much. We have had several thousand dollars of credit card bills written off. I have no idea what impact on her credit.

Tonight she announced a plan to buy a new car. Why? Husband is sometimes at doctors appointments with the car they have (luxury SUV, not yet paid off) and she can’t “just sit at home” for the duration of the appointment. Of course.

I’m not sure who would even give her a car note but if she found one I’m sure they’d be under horrific terms.

Is there anything that can practically be done? Maybe even just setting up a credit alert so we would have warning she is trying to take out a new line of credit?