Anonymous wrote:This is kind of hilarious. How did he discover this? I don’t quite understand. Why would the therapist know who grandma is? Why would grandma know who the therapist is?

Maybe grandma told mom “there’s a nice young man whose a therapist in my garden club!” Or mom told grandma “it’s going well with larlo’s new therapist, Dr. Horatio McGee!”

This is kind of hilarious. How did he discover this? I don’t quite understand. Why would the therapist know who grandma is? Why would grandma know who the therapist is?

There would be no need to switch unless things had gotten pretty uncomfortable-her bring in the group isn’t the problem it’s her knowing he’s the therapist and perhaps innocently chatting about him.

Not blaming her in the least-she wouldn’t know that’s uncomfortable for him but the fact is he is duty bound to not even give a hint he’s heard your son’s name, much less make small talk about him. (And that’s neither easy nor comfortable for the therapist- I know from experience!)

Overall I think it’s just really bad luck. Having said that, he should treat him till he can get in with someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Drs. are human too - sometimes they move or stop practicing. Fit is important but there is no one magic dr who is the only one that can help.

Yes, but it is really hard to find a male therapist for adolescents that DS can get to on his own via public transportation - all of which are musts. I'm not even looking for someone who takes our insurance - this one didn't.

+1000 so hard

Anonymous wrote:My teen son had done three sessions with a therapist that he said he liked. The therapist told us that he felt he could no longer treat DS because he discovered that he (the therapist) is in a gardening club with my mother, and feels uncomfortable about treating my son in light of this. The gardening club meets twice a month, and there are more than 20 people in it. This seems ridiculous .... but i am not sure what I can do (probably nothing). Do you perceive any ethical conflict here?

Grandma is in a 1-2x/month large gardening club with the doctor of one of her grandchildren and the doctor dumps the young patient?!?

Thats weird and egregiously conservative. Wtf are they talking about at these gardening planting sessions.

I have found some of the local therapists to be super rigid about their ethics rules. It’s DC, lots of rule followers here.

Ask him if your mom leaving the club would solve his issue. Take it from there.

Drs. are human too - sometimes they move or stop practicing. Fit is important but there is no one magic dr who is the only one that can help.

Yes, but it is really hard to find a male therapist for adolescents that DS can get to on his own via public transportation - all of which are musts. I'm not even looking for someone who takes our insurance - this one didn't.

The only problem is if your mom realized and was talking to him/referring to her grandson at garden club.


I also think this is likely the issue. If you really like the therapist can your mom find a different garden club?

I can't really in good conscience ask her to switch, just because a lot of members of this club are her neighborhood friends (but not the therapist). She said she would be totally willing not to discuss DS, and I believe her, but the therapist won't agree to that. I guess we just have to move on and find someone else. I'll ask for a referral, but also will try to look on my own.

Ask for referrals because he probably has a network and might be able to point you in the direction of another therapist that would be a good fit.

It’s a problem if your Mom, like most Grandma’s talks a lit about her kids (you) and her grandkids. The therapist is then finding oht lots of info that’s relevant fo treatment, but delivered by a person that he can’t ask
flow up of, and if it would be unethical and damaging to the therapist/patient alliance to follow up with the teen.

You therapist is doing what is right. A good match is important but it’s agood time for your teen to learn to expect high ethics from a therapist, and how to find a new therapist.

Drs. are human too - sometimes they move or stop practicing. Fit is important but there is no one magic dr who is the only one that can help.

Anonymous wrote:The only problem is if your mom realized and was talking to him/referring to her grandson at garden club.

I also think this is likely the issue. If you really like the therapist can your mom find a different garden club?

The only problem is if your mom realized and was talking to him/referring to her grandson at garden club.

Kind of sounds like the therapist is looking for an out to not treat your son. I see no ethical conflict so long as neither he nor your mother discuss your son.

My teen son had done three sessions with a therapist that he said he liked. The therapist told us that he felt he could no longer treat DS because he discovered that he (the therapist) is in a gardening club with my mother, and feels uncomfortable about treating my son in light of this. The gardening club meets twice a month, and there are more than 20 people in it. This seems ridiculous .... but i am not sure what I can do (probably nothing). Do you perceive any ethical conflict here?