Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Typically the behavior was modeled for them when growing up.

This

None of their siblings behave that way.

Are they rude or abrupt?

Let me guess: any deviation from Your Way is “rude.” Any different opinion is “rude.” Doing what is best for them vs. accommodating your every desire is “rude.” Rejecting unsolicited advice is “rude.”

People get blunt when they feel they are not being heard. Try actually hearing what your children have to say, it might help.

With my parents and ILs, I do not start with rudeness. I start with patience, understanding and grace.

But after they treat DH and I with guilt trips, unsolicited advice, unsolicited political views, nosy behavior and judgment, we will set boundaries, which they consider “rude.”

Patience runs out. If you want to be treated with respect, you’d better treat me with respect.

I am occasionally pretty blunt and direct with my mother, but I feel like I have to because she doesn't want to hear information she doesn't like, so anything more polite is ignored. I really don't enjoy it but as she grows older, sometimes clarity is the kindest way forward.

Anonymous wrote:Parents spent majority of their childhood being rude to child, child grows up and returns the favor.

Yup.

Parents spent majority of their childhood being rude to child, child grows up and returns the favor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Typically the behavior was modeled for them when growing up.

This

None of their siblings behave that way.

Anonymous wrote:Typically the behavior was modeled for them when growing up.

This

Anonymous wrote:Are they rude to everyone? Or just to you? That will be a big hint.

Only to family members, at times but not all the time. I do see him same way with his wife. Very loving and daring but could just be rude to her when she is unreasonable. Compared to him, my other brothers would never raise their voices or lose their cool even if they get upset.

I grew up in a family where being rude to parents just wasn't done. Even if we were upset with them or declined to follow their wishes, we raised our point respectfully and politely. They are mostly reasonable people.

One of the brother was never like that. He cares deeply for them but could be very rude.

Typically the behavior was modeled for them when growing up.

Rudeness is subjective. You’re going to have to give examples.

Are they rude to everyone? Or just to you? That will be a big hint.

What do you see as the cause of rudeness in an adult child?

Were parents rude to them?

Its their natural disposition?

It's learned from peers?

Media propagates it?

Something else?