Anonymous wrote:Im the no clue having spouse-it came abt bc I’m deeply uninterested in the details and my husband enjoys that stuff. If he didn’t I would certainly suck it up and do my share (though probably in an unsophisticated way.) I occasionally ask him how much is in the 529s and savings, etc. (like once a year.)

I was you. Until my then 12 year old daughter one day overheard me say to my husband “I had no idea we had xyz account with that much in it!”

She asked me if only Dad knew how much money we had. I realized the answer was “yes” but also not what I wanted to model for her. I said “yes, but this is a mistake. I need to know what’s going on.”

Since then, once a year, for about 4-8 hours, we sit down and go through each account together and he shares with me his plan for our future. Surprisingly (to me), he enjoys those sessions and is much happier that I am a partner in this too.

That DD is starting college this year and we sat down with her and shared our plan to pay for her college (529’s, some CDs, etc). I am really glad I changed my behavior.

My spouse doesn't have a clue and frankly it has been a big issue in our marriage because I cannot make decisions for all of us without at least some of his information. After years of asking he has finally given me all his information--he was not hiding anything, he just didn't care and didn't even do the basic follow up of several 401ks sitting around in old accounts that have been transferred multiple times (and we have moved so they didn't have his new adddresses).

Finally this year I had enough. Although I had begged, yelled, and pleaded for him to get his financial info/ house in order for years, this year I said if he doesn't provide me with XYZ, I am formally separating our finances. So he started this. He still has a few 401ks or IRAs that he needs to get passwords for and roll over. Its clear he has no idea how his pension worked (still doesn't really there are many options ), didn't look into beneficiaries and certainly never ever looked into figuring out whether we would be able to retire. I asked him, like 2 years ago, how much he thought he had in retirement and he said "maybe a million?". Reader, it was 450k and he is in his late 50s.

When it comes to money he is a 'head in the sand' person, and grew up in a relatively modest home but both parents had good pensions so he just figured it would all work out. He also has pushed for expensive houses, etc, and when we first got together I went with the flow because I figured he knew more about this than me. Yes, the irony is that he writes about the economy (though not personal finance). I am a liberal arts major who took one econ class in college and my parents never taught me anything--god I wish they had encouraged me to buy a condo etc when I was in my late 20s/early 30s but it never crossed my mind. I started realizing after we had kids that I needed to take this one, I began with personal finance for dummies and now handle our investments, 529, bills, etc. I wish dh had more curiosity to do this with me or at least keep up with what my decisions are but I think between adhd and anxiety he doesn't want to deal. He made some stupid financial decisions early on as well that put him significantly behind where he should be. Fortunately he is going to have a decent pension and we will be fine, if not comfortable by DCUM standards.

As for 'what to do' if I get hit by a bus, we are working on that now. I've convinced DH to see a financial planner who will hopefully give us a road map that he can follow independently and I have created a couple documents with all of our passwords, etc. But even there, its pulling teeth.

The only good thing about all of this, I guess, is that I dont have anyone second guessing me. But I would prefer to have an equal partner advising and sharing in the responsibility.

Few people are interested. Some think it's a rocket science.
My partner and I kept everything separately as I didn't trust him with finances. Why would a single man with no children making 3x the money have less of a net worth than I? He just didn't care ans spent his money. He only started investing when he saw my investments. Simply clueless, unless work made him contribute to 401k, and more into spending it.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really know how much my DH’s business is making month to month, and I don’t check our investments at all. But I see the tax return, I guess.

Tax returns show nothing. Ours showed that we had taxable income of $80k last year, for example, but doesn’t show that we have $7+ million in assets.

Husband is clueless. If I got hit by a bus, we'd be in big trouble (bills wouldn't get paid). Our attitudes toward money is different, and he isn't interested, and I am, so I am the default financiers, for day to day and long-term

I don’t really know how much my DH’s business is making month to month, and I don’t check our investments at all. But I see the tax return, I guess.

Anonymous wrote:DH just doesn’t care. He trusts that I’m handling the money.

My wife doesn't care either. We're both frugal, both have good (government) salaries, so money isn't a concern. If I died, she'd figure it out. She's smart and deals with finance professionally but isn't interested so leaves it to me (and I leave everything pretty much on autopilot). If I didn't do it or she didn't trust me, then she'd do that, but it would just be another chore.

My 37 year old husband was killed in a car accident. I wasn't completely clueless as in I was always abreast of what was in our checking and savings accounts, my own IRA and so forth, but I was unclear on: how much life insurance he carried, some investments he'd made, and how to access some info. I sure learned in a hurry, and vowed never to be so blase about money again. It's a good idea for both spouses to have clarity.

Anonymous wrote:Im the no clue having spouse-it came abt bc I’m deeply uninterested in the details and my husband enjoys that stuff. If he didn’t I would certainly suck it up and do my share (though probably in an unsophisticated way.) I occasionally ask him how much is in the 529s and savings, etc. (like once a year.)

Oh and re: if he dies we have a document that he keeps up to date with everything and we share a LastPass account for passwords.

Im the no clue having spouse-it came abt bc I’m deeply uninterested in the details and my husband enjoys that stuff. If he didn’t I would certainly suck it up and do my share (though probably in an unsophisticated way.) I occasionally ask him how much is in the 529s and savings, etc. (like once a year.)

I have a notebook where I write down where all the money is, how much is there (which is updated yearly), account numbers to all assets and phone numbers of representatives. This includes mortgage and life insurance policies.

DH just doesn’t care. He trusts that I’m handling the money.

DW has no idea where we stand financially. We could be $200,000 in CC debt and she would have no idea.

This wasn’t by design - she just isn’t that interested in knowing. We share a budget, she has the logins to all our financial accounts.

In the event of death, I have all of our accounts listed on a document, as well as instructions on how to invest the life insurance money coming her way.

my DW has no clue and has no interest in knowing. time to time, I tell her where we stand financially and she usually responds with "wow" or "okay" but that's about it. we are an older couple though (both 60 this year) and known each other since HS days, if that's relevant. What would happen if I die? Good question. I need to put more plans in place soon.

I know some marriages where the spouse has no clue or very little knowledge about how much money, where it’s invested, etc. I handle the money in our house but I keep my spouse informed. If your spouse knows little to nothing, how did that come about, and what will they do if you die