You have to reframe your mindset: to begin with, “vacations” with kids under age ten or so are not relaxing endeavors at all. I prefer to frame our trips as “making memories” because I can’t expect to get any more rest or relaxation here than I would at home.

And yes, being in an unfamiliar environment without all of the resources of home can be frustrating.

Just do your best! I think family or hired help who can babysit are a nice resource to have if you really want/need time to zone out and do nothing.

Because parents have unrealistic expectations. I'm not judging you - I was the same. When you learn to reset your expectations it gets a little better. But frankly, we just didn't travel very much until the youngest was about 4.

People on this site talk about taking toddlers and preschoolers to europe and hawaii and it going swimmingly and I honestly just think they are completely mad. I wouldn't do that if you PAID ME.

Awww, it does get better, I promise. You have to change your expectations as well as prepare-definitely stay near places you can walk to (splash park, playgrounds, nature centers, whatever). Bring brand new toys. When my parents were living in Utah near Arches NP, there was nowhere but hiking to walk to, so before our arrival my parents would go to a thrift store and stock up on toys that they'd then donate back. When my kids faithfully woke at the crack of dawn, we'd grab something new for them to play with. Still more tiring than staying home though-just think of it in terms of a change of scenery, not as a rest!

Ahhh, I see the problem is right there in your post title: You used the word VACATION. You haven’t realized that when you bring a toddler with you, you’re on a TRIP. You have the same routines and sometimes they’re even harder to follow, just in a nicer location.

Hang in there. Maybe the grandparents will stay in when the toddler goes to bed and give you and spouse a date night. That’s about the best you can hope for over the next several years when you’re on a, say it with me, TRIP to the beach.

Anonymous wrote:Oh and btw I assume the travel nanny comment was semi-sarcastic but you can totally bring a nanny or regular babysitter if you have one. My DH and I have discussed doing this several times and the logistics just never worked out quite right but we'd definitely consider it. Just remember that the pay can be tricky (like a traveling per-diem employee, their travel time counts as "work" in many cases), so agree on a rate/amount beforehand.

I am a SAHM and we don’t have a nanny. The only time I really wish we had one is on vacations like this, not sarcastic at all. I love being the full time caregiver my for kids on weekdays and most weekends but vacations is a different story because I feel like that’s my off time. But of course parents don’t get off days!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to reset your expectations. You’re expecting a different level of effort and relaxation than at home which is unreasonable with a two year old. A two year old is not capable of realizing they are in relaxing place. If anything, the change of scenery and routine is a difficult adjustment for them.

Op here. Yes I know this. This is exactly my point, it’s even MORE effort on vacation. So why would we even go on vacation to be more tired? Do we just not take any vacations till kids are all 6+ or so?

You don't avoid vacations until later ages, no. Some people certainly do this but I wouldn't recommend.

Every year it gets a little easier.

I recommend screen time for the harder parts, honestly. Waking up at 6am? Cool, that's Daniel Tiger hour until Mom and Dad have had their coffee.

And make sure your spouse is giving you some alone time (and vice versa) without the kid, that can make or break things.

Because young kids are selfish. Are you just now figuring this out?

Anonymous wrote:You need to reset your expectations. You’re expecting a different level of effort and relaxation than at home which is unreasonable with a two year old. A two year old is not capable of realizing they are in relaxing place. If anything, the change of scenery and routine is a difficult adjustment for them.

Op here. Yes I know this. This is exactly my point, it’s even MORE effort on vacation. So why would we even go on vacation to be more tired? Do we just not take any vacations till kids are all 6+ or so?

Oh and btw I assume the travel nanny comment was semi-sarcastic but you can totally bring a nanny or regular babysitter if you have one. My DH and I have discussed doing this several times and the logistics just never worked out quite right but we'd definitely consider it. Just remember that the pay can be tricky (like a traveling per-diem employee, their travel time counts as "work" in many cases), so agree on a rate/amount beforehand.

Anonymous wrote:What are we doing wrong? Rented a house by the beach with 2 year old and it just feels more tiring than staying home. He is up at 6am everyday as he always is, but because it’s a new environment he’s even more excited to ready to start the day immediately than usual. It’s 830 and we’ve Already had breakfast, read books, and gone to a nearby playground. Is the only solution to bring a travel nanny for some respite? Grandparents are also here but they are 0 help.

What did you expect to be different?

You need to reset your expectations. You’re expecting a different level of effort and relaxation than at home which is unreasonable with a two year old. A two year old is not capable of realizing they are in relaxing place. If anything, the change of scenery and routine is a difficult adjustment for them.

Adding: Other good solutions - helpful relatives (SIL and one set of grandparents in particular), relatives (or friends) with kids the same age they can play with, babysitters (through hotels or local nanny agency), kids' clubs at resorts.

I feel you, OP. It does get better (in my experience, 3 was better than 2 for travel, although hellish in terms of behavior/defiance generally).

I find beach vacations to be kind of underwhelming with a toddler. So much sunscreen-ing, water policing, etc. The best vacations I've done with a kid that age were actually major cities where we stayed in a downtown/central location and everything was close and walkable, and there were lots of playgrounds.

Yes that’s just life and you’re lucky to have grandparents there.

What are we doing wrong? Rented a house by the beach with 2 year old and it just feels more tiring than staying home. He is up at 6am everyday as he always is, but because it’s a new environment he’s even more excited to ready to start the day immediately than usual. It’s 830 and we’ve Already had breakfast, read books, and gone to a nearby playground. Is the only solution to bring a travel nanny for some respite? Grandparents are also here but they are 0 help.