Anonymous
07/02/2023 19:05
Subject: Re:In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
How much does this rental cost?
Anonymous
07/02/2023 18:51
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Anonymous wrote:Leave. It’s that simple.
I would do this. A “free” vacation like this is way too expensive in these non-monetary ways.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 18:41
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Your mother may be of the same mentality that my mother is. A gift-like paying for you to vacation near her-comes with major strings that include the right to be nasty to you. If you address the issue, does she then guilt trip you because she paid?
The key is to never accept any "gifts" and have firm boundaries.
The key is to never accept any "gifts" and have firm boundaries.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 17:14
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Leave. It’s that simple.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 14:59
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
First, you have to stop accepting her paid vacations. Then, you can establish boundaries in good conscience.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 14:57
Subject: Re:In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Anonymous wrote:Don’t spend any time with her.
“Mom, it’s clear that you’re uncomfortable with us here. Why don’t we limit our time together. Let’s plan for dinner on Wednesday evening. I can make a reservation at Bob’s Seafood Shack for 6pm. We’ll see you then.”
Then stop responding to her. Also send her a check to cover the cost of the rental.
You can try this, but have a backup plan in case her behavior becomes worse.
I would not ever accept anything like this from her again.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 14:54
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Anonymous wrote:-asked me and my kids to leave minutes after arriving
-called my husband funny-looking
-called me weird
-criticized me for not packing children’s Benadryl
-denigrated my husband’s alma mater (a state school - though he makes a lot more than she ever did)
-pushed my son (she would say she “nudged” him)
-scolded the way my husband and I parent
There are probably other examples but I’m too exhausted to recall. My family is on vacation with my mom and her husband - they’re renting a residence for us near their vacation home - but I am overwhelmed at this treatment. She’s pretty tiring generally but the dysfunction seems to be next level this time. What should I do to get through this week?
Leave and check into a hotel..you a grown woman and you do not have to put up with crap from anyone.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 13:26
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Is this new (cognitive decline?) or normal behavior?
Anonymous
07/02/2023 13:14
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Straight up ignore her. Your life will be so much better.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 12:56
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
My mother is coming on Friday for 10 days!
We're happy to see her and will probably count the insane remarks she makes (but not drink, otherwise we'd be falling over by midmorning). It's better to laugh than cry over them...
We're happy to see her and will probably count the insane remarks she makes (but not drink, otherwise we'd be falling over by midmorning). It's better to laugh than cry over them...
Anonymous
07/02/2023 12:51
Subject: Re:In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Spend as much time as possible in your rental.
Put your phone on silent and mute texts from her. Zero notifications.
Let all calls go to voicemail. You’ll check when you’re ready to listen.
Think of this as a game where you get points for setting boundaries with her. You can earn points for yourself with each boundary setting action on your part. Give yourself prizes like having a special cocktail with spouse or splurging on some fun earrings. Or whatever. Just set the boundaries and vow to never go visit again.
Put your phone on silent and mute texts from her. Zero notifications.
Let all calls go to voicemail. You’ll check when you’re ready to listen.
Think of this as a game where you get points for setting boundaries with her. You can earn points for yourself with each boundary setting action on your part. Give yourself prizes like having a special cocktail with spouse or splurging on some fun earrings. Or whatever. Just set the boundaries and vow to never go visit again.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 12:42
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Fantasize about next summer when you won’t vacation with them.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 12:38
Subject: Re:In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Don’t spend any time with her.
“Mom, it’s clear that you’re uncomfortable with us here. Why don’t we limit our time together. Let’s plan for dinner on Wednesday evening. I can make a reservation at Bob’s Seafood Shack for 6pm. We’ll see you then.”
Then stop responding to her. Also send her a check to cover the cost of the rental.
“Mom, it’s clear that you’re uncomfortable with us here. Why don’t we limit our time together. Let’s plan for dinner on Wednesday evening. I can make a reservation at Bob’s Seafood Shack for 6pm. We’ll see you then.”
Then stop responding to her. Also send her a check to cover the cost of the rental.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 12:38
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
Go and have fun with your dh and kids. Stay away from your mom, her house and her dysfunction. Go home early if you can't stay away. Plan and pay for your own vacations in the future. And go sonewhere else.
Anonymous
07/02/2023 12:34
Subject: In fewer than 24 hours, my mother has…
-asked me and my kids to leave minutes after arriving
-called my husband funny-looking
-called me weird
-criticized me for not packing children’s Benadryl
-denigrated my husband’s alma mater (a state school - though he makes a lot more than she ever did)
-pushed my son (she would say she “nudged” him)
-scolded the way my husband and I parent
There are probably other examples but I’m too exhausted to recall. My family is on vacation with my mom and her husband - they’re renting a residence for us near their vacation home - but I am overwhelmed at this treatment. She’s pretty tiring generally but the dysfunction seems to be next level this time. What should I do to get through this week?
-called my husband funny-looking
-called me weird
-criticized me for not packing children’s Benadryl
-denigrated my husband’s alma mater (a state school - though he makes a lot more than she ever did)
-pushed my son (she would say she “nudged” him)
-scolded the way my husband and I parent
There are probably other examples but I’m too exhausted to recall. My family is on vacation with my mom and her husband - they’re renting a residence for us near their vacation home - but I am overwhelmed at this treatment. She’s pretty tiring generally but the dysfunction seems to be next level this time. What should I do to get through this week?