I remember the midwife saying, "just because you can have sex at six weeks, doesn't mean you have to." With our first we waited several months, because I felt like crap. And was exhausted. And felt my breasts were for our baby not my husband. It was a shorter time frame after our second, but at least two months

Anonymous wrote:Six weeks is the medical waiting period. We starting having sex around then, but it wasn’t good until I weaned each kid.

Exact same experience here. We started again around 6 weeks both times, but it was miserable for me. I had a very slight tear with my first (only needed a single stitch) and no tearing with my 2nd, but even so it was painful for a while, and I had absolutely no interest until I had weaned (around 10mo both times).

I only waited 6 weeks because I wanted to, but I was very dry for the first year.

Yeah, two different metrics -- when it's safe to have sex because you've healed enough not to pull stitches or cause infection, and when you personally want to have sex.

I was cleared at my 6 week appointment for sex but I had serious PPD and I think the first time we had sex was at probably 6 or 7 months, and to be honest it was largely because I just wanted to see how it went and not because I really wanted to do it. And it wasn't great sex and I wasn't eager to do it again soon, in part because my body was just not responding with arousal.

I wouldn't say that sex felt back to normal for almost 2 years. I know that's not typical for others, but I'm adding it here as a data point just to show that there is a very broad range.

Anonymous wrote:Listen I'm super high-libido. like, laughably so. But I did it at 5 weeks (cleared by OB - it is usually 6 weeks) and it felt super loose. I was so upset by it. I am still embarrassed!!!

My recommendation: Wait until 8 weeks if you have a vaginal delivery. Do "other stuff" until then. Honestly you will both just want sleep.

It’s very person dependent. As long as you are cleared by a doctor and want to have sex - have sex!

Listen I'm super high-libido. like, laughably so. But I did it at 5 weeks (cleared by OB - it is usually 6 weeks) and it felt super loose. I was so upset by it. I am still embarrassed!!!

My recommendation: Wait until 8 weeks if you have a vaginal delivery. Do "other stuff" until then. Honestly you will both just want sleep.

So medical is six weeks AFTER a doctor has checked you— the risk is infection if any stitches/incision isn’t well healed. When you go to that 6wk you should ask for a referral for pelvic PT which accelerates significantly the time before it’s enjoyable again.

Yeah, medical is six weeks. When you’re actually up for it and feels fun/good is a different and highly individual matter.

We started having sex six weeks postpartum after my first and second (easy vaginal deliveries). assuming the birth of my third goes well we will start having sex after six weeks. This doesn’t get talked about much, so I applaud you for starting this thread.

With the first, we did once at like 7/8 weeks just cause we “could” but probably only a handful of times before sleep training at 4 months. (When I’m tired I have no libido).

With my second I had BAD PPD that lasted more than a year. I would guess we had sex three times before she turned one? Then probably monthly for the next six months? We weren’t back in the swing of things until she was almost 2.

I was medically cleared at six weeks, but with PPA I wasn't particularly interested until around 2.5-3 months.

Six weeks is the medical waiting period. We starting having sex around then, but it wasn’t good until I weaned each kid.

I just had my third kid three months ago: very easy recovery (and easy baby). I have an even higher libido than before! Having a good amount of sex (and really enjoying it).

Everyone’s experience is different. After my first I was so uncomfortable in my skin and felt very unattractive so getting back into it was hard. I don’t have those issues now haha.

For me, I wasn’t interested until my kids were mostly weaned and 10-11 months.

DH was SHOCKED when I told him I was pretty sure there's a six week waiting period, minimum. I asked a friend and she said it took her almost five months.