I think sometimes jealousy is a personality trait. My SIL is always jealous. When I had young kids and she didn’t, she was jealous because she thought my kids got all the attention. When she had young kids and I had elementary age kids she was jealous and that I didn’t have diapers to change. She has told me I have no idea how lucky I am that my house is small and easy to clean. Recently the grandparents did something fun with my kids and hers weren’t invited because they were visiting their other grandparents and doing something fun with them.

On the other hand there are definitely times when someone is mourning a significant loss (e.g. if she’s 40 and coming to terms with likely never getting married or having kids) when temporary jealousy can be an issue, and the appropriate thing to do is to be gentle (e.g. don’t whine about sleepless baby nights to your friend with a recent stillbirth).

Which is it?

How do you know she’s jealous? Some people accuse others of being “jealous” whenever there is friction. I am sure the friction between you two is legitimate, but jealousy may not be what she’s feeling. If you get to the actual root cause of your friction and hear her perspective, you may be able to repair it.

How could she not be hellish when all of a sudden you are super wealthy? You say wealth and all the benefits are nothing to be jealous of - if you seriously think that that, no wonder she is making comments. ‘Hi Larla! Sorry the reception is bad, on a casual little jaunt to Figi, no big deal, just a little long weekend away!’

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve always gotten along but recently I’ve noticed she’s making passive aggressive comments about me. I’m kind of sad. I feel like I always support her. I married into a wealthy family recently which I don’t think is a big deal. I’m independent and I’m not relying on them. However, some things have changed. Nice cars and vacations. I feel like that’s nothing to be jealous of. It’s just material stuff. Just venting. Thanks. Love any advice.

Are you sure her jealousy just began? It could have been there all along just less obvious.

My sister is jealous when I got a nice pair of shoes. Instead of just being happy for me. And then get the same pair of shoes (same color!) and then pretend she got them first or she’d pretend she didn’t know I have them or try to rewrite the order in history in hindsight. Which is weird or she’s just a loon. Repeat with jewelry, clothes, furniture, cars, hairstyles, I could go on. She doesn’t have an original idea. And to me that’s a type of jealousy. Or insecurity.

But I digress. I had a career before I married but of course purchases got better with a double income even without marrying into a wealthy family. Is your sister single?

She is single

Maybe she’s envious of your entire package. Perhaps when she gets married, even if not into a wealthy family, it will subside. I’m the pp and acknowledge sisters can be a bit much at times. And you can’t shake them because they’re family!

That is true. I used to tell my sister everything. I think I will have to hold back a bit now. I don't appreciate the weird energy from her.
Time to get some married friends or something.

Anonymous wrote:Your power dynamic changed and both people changed as a result. Usually, people do not see the change in themselves but only in the other person.

Open communication and discussion about it can help.

I’m intrigued by your post. Open communication and say what? And what power dynamic changed after op married into a wealthy family?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve always gotten along but recently I’ve noticed she’s making passive aggressive comments about me. I’m kind of sad. I feel like I always support her. I married into a wealthy family recently which I don’t think is a big deal. I’m independent and I’m not relying on them. However, some things have changed. Nice cars and vacations. I feel like that’s nothing to be jealous of. It’s just material stuff. Just venting. Thanks. Love any advice.

Are you sure her jealousy just began? It could have been there all along just less obvious.

My sister is jealous when I got a nice pair of shoes. Instead of just being happy for me. And then get the same pair of shoes (same color!) and then pretend she got them first or she’d pretend she didn’t know I have them or try to rewrite the order in history in hindsight. Which is weird or she’s just a loon. Repeat with jewelry, clothes, furniture, cars, hairstyles, I could go on. She doesn’t have an original idea. And to me that’s a type of jealousy. Or insecurity.

But I digress. I had a career before I married but of course purchases got better with a double income even without marrying into a wealthy family. Is your sister single?

She is single

Maybe she’s envious of your entire package. Perhaps when she gets married, even if not into a wealthy family, it will subside. I’m the pp and acknowledge sisters can be a bit much at times. And you can’t shake them because they’re family!

I recognize this poster. She wishes her sister is jealous.

If she’s jealous it’s because you are behaving poorly and doing something wrong. You’re too proud and too arrogant. This is your fault.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve always gotten along but recently I’ve noticed she’s making passive aggressive comments about me. I’m kind of sad. I feel like I always support her. I married into a wealthy family recently which I don’t think is a big deal. I’m independent and I’m not relying on them. However, some things have changed. Nice cars and vacations. I feel like that’s nothing to be jealous of. It’s just material stuff. Just venting. Thanks. Love any advice.

Are you sure her jealousy just began? It could have been there all along just less obvious.

My sister is jealous when I got a nice pair of shoes. Instead of just being happy for me. And then get the same pair of shoes (same color!) and then pretend she got them first or she’d pretend she didn’t know I have them or try to rewrite the order in history in hindsight. Which is weird or she’s just a loon. Repeat with jewelry, clothes, furniture, cars, hairstyles, I could go on. She doesn’t have an original idea. And to me that’s a type of jealousy. Or insecurity.

But I digress. I had a career before I married but of course purchases got better with a double income even without marrying into a wealthy family. Is your sister single?

She is single

Anonymous wrote:We’ve always gotten along but recently I’ve noticed she’s making passive aggressive comments about me. I’m kind of sad. I feel like I always support her. I married into a wealthy family recently which I don’t think is a big deal. I’m independent and I’m not relying on them. However, some things have changed. Nice cars and vacations. I feel like that’s nothing to be jealous of. It’s just material stuff. Just venting. Thanks. Love any advice.

Are you sure her jealousy just began? It could have been there all along just less obvious.

My sister is jealous when I got a nice pair of shoes. Instead of just being happy for me. And then get the same pair of shoes (same color!) and then pretend she got them first or she’d pretend she didn’t know I have them or try to rewrite the order in history in hindsight. Which is weird or she’s just a loon. Repeat with jewelry, clothes, furniture, cars, hairstyles, I could go on. She doesn’t have an original idea. And to me that’s a type of jealousy. Or insecurity.

But I digress. I had a career before I married but of course purchases got better with a double income even without marrying into a wealthy family. Is your sister single?

Your power dynamic changed and both people changed as a result. Usually, people do not see the change in themselves but only in the other person.

Open communication and discussion about it can help.

Anonymous wrote:Buy her a car to shut her up. A Prius is fine, it doesn't need to be a Tesla.

Lol if you have to buy her off to maintain a good relationship then there are bigger problems.

Buy her a car to shut her up. A Prius is fine, it doesn't need to be a Tesla.

Nice cars and vacations ain’t nothing. I’m sure she’s a little jealous.

We’ve always gotten along but recently I’ve noticed she’s making passive aggressive comments about me. I’m kind of sad. I feel like I always support her. I married into a wealthy family recently which I don’t think is a big deal. I’m independent and I’m not relying on them. However, some things have changed. Nice cars and vacations. I feel like that’s nothing to be jealous of. It’s just material stuff. Just venting. Thanks. Love any advice.