my fellow ivy grads who didn't have a job and iffy GPAs after graduation are all doing fine now. they all ended up with shitty service jobs to start, but somehow all figured stuff out. it took time. some eventually went into teaching, some went back to school, some did political organizing. today, all of them are doing pretty well. they all rose quickly, but it was a rocky few years for some of them.

tell your kid do get a job and become a grunt. my friend who was a barista is now an VP at huge multinational conglomerate in charge of their entire logistics and shipping operations. she was super depressed after gradation, especially since some of best friends seem to land dream jobs or grad school spots.

career paths are not always straightforward.

Yes, absolutely he should be working with the career office. It's part of what that expensive bill paid for.

+1 to the test prep tutor suggestion. Another option would be signing up with a temporary employment agency

And, it sounds like he could use a therapist for the depression.

No matter your education, it's perfectly reasonable to take an entry-level professional job and then work your way up, and/or take a temp or job that doesn't require a college education while job hunting - and in this economy, he won't have much trouble. When I graduated decades ago, I spent about 4 months doing temp clerical work while looking for a permanent job. It was much better - financially, psychologically, and professionally - than job hunting full time.

I graduated from a non-Ivy-but-a-peer-of-Ivies university and was in a similar boat. I graduated without a job during the GFC while many of my peers did, and it felt really, really crappy. I feel for your son. It isn't easy to be bumming around the house when it seems like everyone else is succeeding and working jobs that you feel you should've gotten as well. I also feel for you - dealing with that can't be easy, either.

After applying to 3-4 jobs/day for a few months, I eventually found an opportunity. It was humbling, and it was not at all what I thought I "deserved" (god, I was such a naïve sh!thead). I'm doing well now, so it's not a career-killer to graduate with a blank resume and without a job, unless your kiddo has his heart set on investment banking or something. But he may have to eat a bowl of sh!t and take that humbling first job in order to get his foot in the door somewhere else.

Don't ride him too hard about networking with friends. His peers - almost certainly 22-year-old sh!theads as well - have no pull at their places of employment, and unless he's really close to a friend who has a very high up parent, probably nothing is going to come from networking with parents. I know it's cold comfort, but it's not 1992 and the world doesn't work like that anymore (or I dunno, maybe having Harvard on the resume really is different).

Reaching out to the career center is probably a good idea. Your son is not the first graduate of their institution that didn't hit the ground running. At the very least, they should have some ideas on how to work around having a thin resume, and give some advice on writing a good cover letter to make up for it. They might even run mock interviews for young alums. Other than that, just keep applying. The job market is pretty tight right now.

Anonymous wrote:Also, if he is an Ivy League he probably has good test scores and can teach for Kaplan or another test prep company. This is actually what I did right after graduating, while figuring it all out. It's a "island of misfits" of highly intelligent lost souls. I loved all my fellow teachers.

That's a great suggestion, assuming he has good scores. I did test prep teaching, too - LSAT, actually, after I'd finished law school and realized how much I hated being a lawyer. VERY island of misfit toys. Super smart people, I liked the off-hours schedule, liked my students. Not sure they got that much from it - why won't they PRACTICE more? - but enjoyed the experience.

Anonymous wrote:I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.

Not to be rude, but a huge part of the problem here seems to be that both you and he think there's something really special or different about getting a job out of an Ivy League school than any other school. Sure, there are differences, but get over it.

Yes, he should absolutely contact his career services office.

Anonymous wrote:He needs to just start doing something -- an unpaid internship, entry level position somewhere. Doing *something* and getting up and getting dressed is going to change his outlook profoundly. And doing something is SO MUCH better than doing nothing.

Don't worry what the other grads are doing.

Totally agree with this - and he needs to get over the idea that he's too good for regular jobs (or that people will be disappointed with him or look down on him). It doesn't matter. You run your own race, and you do your best with it.

Also have him watch Reality Bites. He is far from the first person to worry about not meeting his full potential. Just about everyone worries about it at some point in life. What he's feeling is normal, and all you an do is put one foot in front of the other.

By the time he's applying for his second job - and maybe even the first one - no one will care about his GPA. Before long no one will care where he went to college, either.

Also, if he is an Ivy League he probably has good test scores and can teach for Kaplan or another test prep company. This is actually what I did right after graduating, while figuring it all out. It's a "island of misfits" of highly intelligent lost souls. I loved all my fellow teachers.

He needs to just start doing something -- an unpaid internship, entry level position somewhere. Doing *something* and getting up and getting dressed is going to change his outlook profoundly. And doing something is SO MUCH better than doing nothing.

Don't worry what the other grads are doing.

He got Covid-depression and now it's snowballing. He needs to get a part time retail job immediately. He needs to swallow his ego and get over the Ivy thing. Go flip burgers at McDonalds, work at Old Navy, apply to be a mentor at Boys & Girls Club (they have camps), etc. Get ANYTHING to put on his resume, and he needs to know that a lot of kids got Covid depression and their forward progression ground to a halt. We just don't hear about it much because people stay quiet about it.

What was his major and what does he want to do?

The issues sound larger than just landing his first job.

Anonymous wrote:Why is his resume vacant? Was there any internship? Work-study? Tutoring? Volunteering?

Can he network with professors or connected classmates for any referral?

He had a summer job after his freshman year but nothing since Covid. His GPA crashed and I think it all snowballed to the point his practically empty, long-gap resume was and continues to make him feel hopelessly stupid, especially compared to high-flying overachieving classmates with years of work experience, campus involvement and leadership, high GPAs, and excellent references.

What did he do during summers?

Why is his resume vacant? Was there any internship? Work-study? Tutoring? Volunteering?

Can he network with professors or connected classmates for any referral?

I posted a few months ago about my son's looming graduation. Now he is home and moping around. He finally opened up that feels like an idiot, he's overwhelmed and he's humiliated compared to all of his overachieving classmates. He's scared to ask his more connected friends (and their parents) for help because his resume is so vacant and they seem so perfect. He knows he can apply for random entry-level jobs any random college grad can apply for but he feels like he has wasted the opportunity if he settles for anything. He does not mean that in a snobby way–we are just a middle class family–but I also know how that could come across. It was a very expensive education and the opportunity of a lifetime. Any help in coaxing him out of this funk and where he should be looking is appreciated. Should he contact career services at his alma mater or would reaching out to his network of friends and their parents offer far more opportunities?

I want to stress his resume is basically vacant outside of the new BA and his GPA is pretty abysmal, so he thinks he's going to be mocked or his resume will just be ignored.