Agreed. SOs need to win my child's heart, not mine.

I thought this was just a figure of speech; people actually expect to be won over? This makes it seem like the SO is at a deficit and has to do something special to make you like them. That's weird to me, Ive always treated my kids SO with kindness and respect and have always been treated the same way back. I loved my MIL and we were very close when she was alive, I never did anything, we got along from day 1.

Nothing specific. Just overall grounded, polite, well mannered, stable job, respectful

*she is with my brother for 12 years and married for 9 so not a facade, truly good person.

My younger brother's SO won my parents over by being a really genuine and caring person. Of course she isn't perfect but neither are them and they know that she is honest and loving.

It's sad reading some of these replies. Doesn't look like it takes much to win over you people. 💰💰💰

Highly paid job. Not abusive.

Anonymous wrote:DD’s SO if more than a year is still so polite! He is always saying thank you for little things and is eager to offer help around the house when he is here. That’s on top of how great he is to DD, which would be enough of course, but honestly that extra bit he does toward us has definitely won us over.

Kindness towards their partner and politeness towards their partner's loved ones are indeed great qualities.

DD’s SO if more than a year is still so polite! He is always saying thank you for little things and is eager to offer help around the house when he is here. That’s on top of how great he is to DD, which would be enough of course, but honestly that extra bit he does toward us has definitely won us over.

Is it safe to assume that limited number of replies are representative of limited percentage of parents won over by their adult children's significant others?

I think there are obvious checkmarks like kind, intelligent, upright, decent, educated, employed, responsible, good family, not debt or addiction prone, etc which add points but most important are love and care for my child. It would be cherry on top if they are open to a good relationship with us.

Anonymous wrote:I saw how happy DD was around him and how comfortable she was. I saw how he looked at her and how he talked to her. It wasn't a specific thing he did or didn't do, I could just tell. 14 years later he hasn't proved me wrong.

+1 I have a DD and DS with SOs. It wasn't anything specific for me, it was about how they treated my DCs which includes their contributions to the relationship (being employed, on the same page financially, etc.)

They didn't kiss up to me - they were just mature people who were kind and responsible to my kids. No drama, no games, no cheating, no addictions.

I saw how happy DD was around him and how comfortable she was. I saw how he looked at her and how he talked to her. It wasn't a specific thing he did or didn't do, I could just tell. 14 years later he hasn't proved me wrong.

There are enough threads about how you ended up hating your sons girlfriend/daughters boyfriend, but if you like them, what have they done to gain your support? (Thread idea credit: Reddit)