I would have done the same, and would receive the same response from his dad, my ex!
I bet he doesn’t have a sock drawer so his sock changing habit is broken. I hope he has one for undies. Oh well.

He is 13, not 4.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - he does change them at home without prompting, so not sure what is going on here. I did not allow DS to take his own phone (as I wanted him to spend time w my dad vs. starting at it), but you are all right that I should have told my dad that I wanted to speak with my son when I called my dad to check in (I did ask if my son wanted to talk, but my son declined because he was watching tv; I should have insisted).

He's on vacation, having Grandpa time.

No, you should not insist to talk to him, and you certainly do not need to nag him about socks. Let it go. This is the minutia of life. Do not give it another thought.

Your dad is looking to make memories with DS, not nag about socks.

OP, I say this gently, but you need to take a deep breath. The answer was not to insist talking to your son to micromanage his hygiene and clothing choices. The answer is to let some things go - and this is one of them. If his feet start stinking, your dad will tell him to change his freakin’ socks. 13 is plenty old enough for your son to start learning his own lessons.

If he normally changes them daily at home without prompting, and he’s changing his other clothing daily on this trip, I would assume he forgot to pack socks. Gross, but not the end of the world. He’ll remember to pack them the next trip!

Just let it go. My same aged son went on a trip with his friend and the mom texted me pics. I sent about 3 swimsuits with him. In every pic, over several days, he's wearing the same one. I didn't ask her to make him change. It is what it is. He just didn't care and put the same one on every day. It was washed when he came home and he changes clothes normally now. He was in vacation mode.

OMG. Who cares if your son changes socks? Presumably him and your dad (if he has smelly feet). Why in the world are you worrying about this? Can people die from wearing the same socks 5 days in a row?

Your son is 13, not 3. He should be capable of changing his socks without being prompted.

What do you think will happen? Foot fungus? Gangrene?

OP here - he does change them at home without prompting, so not sure what is going on here. I did not allow DS to take his own phone (as I wanted him to spend time w my dad vs. starting at it), but you are all right that I should have told my dad that I wanted to speak with my son when I called my dad to check in (I did ask if my son wanted to talk, but my son declined because he was watching tv; I should have insisted).

Agree with PP. A 13 yr is more than capable of dressing himself. This is on him, not on your dad. And your request does come across as out of line. If it really bothered you, you should have asked your 13 yr old directly on the phone--surely you talked to him during the vacation?

It's socks. Agree with your dad that he doesn't need you micromanaging from home.

You should have raised your son to change his socks on a daily basis. But this is the kind of thing you say to a 13 yr old directly. Your dad doesn't dress your son - your son dresses himself.

My dad was nice enough to take my 13 year old away with him on a short vacation (to a beach). They have been gone since Friday. My dad has sent me photos of what my son was doing every day. In every photo, my son is wearing the same pair of distinctive socks (dark gray running socks with an orange stripe). My son only has one pair of these socks. I asked my dad today if he could please tell my son to put on different socks, because he did not seem to be changing them on his own. My dad responded that he was taking good care of my son and I should stop micromanaging. Five days is a long time not to change socks, and I tried to phrase the request in a non-accusatory manner. Was I out of line to make this request?