Give them "Who Gets In and Why."

Anonymous wrote:How old are they OP? I am 66 and am fully aware of the realities of college acceptance rates.

Are you a grand parent with a grand child about to go to a college?

How old are they OP? I am 66 and am fully aware of the realities of college acceptance rates.

Are there REALLY grandparents that invested in the brand of the college for grandkids. Neither my parents nor my in laws have said a single word about the college search, other than general dismay at how ridiculously expensive tuition is. Little wonder todays high schoolers are stressed out. It comes from parents, grandparents (apparently), and peers (who get it from parents and now grandparents).

No particular advice but the whole premise of the question (and the answers so far) are interesting and surprising to me. Is it that common for grandparents to care deeply about where kids go to college? I’m from a pretty highly educated family but this never came up.

https://lesshighschoolstress.com/

The first page of the essay above explains the numbers, and the rest shows why they shouldn't worry if the kid doesn't get into an elite school.

Mine never really believed me…even when I showed the Naviance. We don’t see my mom often so I just decided that my job was to run interference and keep her from talking about college with my DD until the process was over. But, she’s not the type to go over the top and say anything negative after my DD chose her school. Hopefully your parents wouldn’t either, but I know some would. Sadly, sticking up for your kids against your parents is sometimes a part of parenting.

I got very far very quickly with my parents by sitting them down and showing them the Naviance data for my kids’ schools. Pulled up the data and showed them where their grandkids hit— and where I hit in HS. I put aside SAT inflation and grade inflation (because now is not the time to muddy the waters) and showed them I probably would not have gotten into any of the 4 college I applied to and was accepted to— two on full rides (Duke, Davidson, Wake and UNC) and that their grandkids could not assume admission to these schools— an would need to ED to be competitive. The sea of red Xs at near perfect stats was a good visual jolt. A discussion of demographic trends is abstract. Their precision grandkids’ markers sitting in the middle of a hundred red Xs was cold, hard reality.

Can you just keep talking about the schools DC is actually hopeful for/excited about?

I thought Boomers witnessed how tough it had gotten when their own kids applied. Hardly seems surprising that it’s gotten worse! Sorry, though, that’s so obnoxious.

Anonymous wrote:I just never told my parents that my kid was applying to any Ivy or top-ranked school.

I really hate that Ivy is such a measure of success to some people. It's really a shame because Ivy is an unachievable goal these days for even the most qualified students.

That's the kicker. She's not applying to schools like that. She knows she won't get in. Grandpa doesn't get it

I think showing the change in acceptance rates over the decades might help. I told them current rates but didn't compare them to years past. Thanks for the idea.

If they're anything like my parents, your words will just go in at one ear, and out the other. They'll nod while your words cross the empty space from ear to ear, but then they'll go right back to thinking whatever they were thinking before... because value systems from when they were younger are just more tenacious than anything anyone says now. And not just about college!

If they can read a graph, have them look at this blog post (the entire site is great, but this particular piece has stuck with me): https://www.highereddatastories.com/2022/10/yes-your-yield-rate-is-still-falling.html

You can enter any school to see specific data about that school. They're all pretty wild, but if you really want to make an impression, try Northeastern: in 2001, Northeastern had less than 15k applicants and a 70% acceptance rate. In 2021, there were more than 75k applicants and the admit rate was 18.4%. And of course, all the top 50 or 100 schools have become even more competitive in the past 2 years since this data was released.

I just never told my parents that my kid was applying to any Ivy or top-ranked school.

I really hate that Ivy is such a measure of success to some people. It's really a shame because Ivy is an unachievable goal these days for even the most qualified students.

I don’t have any good resources for you, but consider this a fist bump of solidarity. I am 100% sure that I will have the same problem with my parents, who find a fairly short list of colleges to be acceptable. Oh well. They’ll survive.

Does anyone know of a good article or other quick link I can send to my parents to explain why their grandchild does not actually have a legitimate chance at getting into an Ivy or other top ranked school. I tried reading them admissions percentages, and it didn't seem to help. Is there an Explaining Modern College Admissions for Boomers guide out there?