Anonymous wrote:When your youngest leaves for college

OP you probably won't believe this response. But for many kids I know, this is the answer to your question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are so much worse at this than other. I have 3 and 2 largely did the right thing. But then that other one was the one that scribbled on the walls, threw things at the doors leaving marks, spilled drinks staining rugs, sneaked food out of the kitchen and got it on furniture, put hard to peel off stickers on furniture, flushed objects down the toilet, put pencils down the shower drain, and on and on. It's got better around 5-6.

Did you supervise that one as that's absurd they are behaving that way.

Well, this one has ADHD. Her mind works very differently. But I guess that's absurd to you.

Anonymous wrote:3-4ish when they understand "no" and consequences of broken stuff. But its kid dependent. I have 2 (3 and 7) and they never destroyed anything on purpose and rarely by accident. We have a no jumping on the living room couch rule and i didn't have any non washable markers/crayons until the kittle one turned 3. Each ripped a book once around 15 months and got a stern talking to. But they also didn't climb the shelves and furniture as ive seen other kids donn

Sounds about the same as mine except my younger had a terrifying bookshelf climbing phase and they both had several months of ripping books (thankfully grown out of except when severely hangry). I think part of it is how you approach parenting. I’m solo most of the time (DH travels a lot for work) and I don’t do screen time so there’s a certain amount of independent play where I allow turning the kitchen chairs into a train/jungle gym/house, pulling the cushions off the couch, etc. My furniture is old and the odd repurposed thing that they’ve decided is a toy gets broken but I’m okay with that in exchange for all of us staying in reasonably good moods. I have friends who buy their kids way more toys and allow a show when they’re making dinner or whatever and consequently are able to easily enforce the distinction between kids toys and grownup stuff even during the toddler years. Whatever works for you and your family! But even if you’re of the “destruction is the price I pay for independent play” it gets way better around 2.5/3.

I don’t think it’s quite the norm… or maybe it’s my kid who wasn’t normal because he didn’t really damage anything?! He would play with toys or objects but had no desire to actually destroy them?

Anonymous wrote:The couch is not a trampoline. Don't take the piano apart to see how it works because you are curious. Yes, if you bent it enough it will break. You put what in the microwave? Just because you can, doesn't mean that you should.

It never ends

You're setting them up for failure.

Your real question is : For how much longer will I have to actively engage with/play with my 2 yr old.

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are so much worse at this than other. I have 3 and 2 largely did the right thing. But then that other one was the one that scribbled on the walls, threw things at the doors leaving marks, spilled drinks staining rugs, sneaked food out of the kitchen and got it on furniture, put hard to peel off stickers on furniture, flushed objects down the toilet, put pencils down the shower drain, and on and on. It's got better around 5-6.

Did you supervise that one as that's absurd they are behaving that way.

Anonymous wrote:I love my two year old. I really do. I just want to have in my head the horizon for when we might be able to spend peaceful time at home together without having to watch them every second lest something be permanently damaged. 5? 6? 25?

I know the solution is to leave the house, and we do!

When you teach them. Put anything valuable or you don't want broken away. Redirect several times. If that doesn't work, time out.

When your youngest leaves for college

3-4ish when they understand "no" and consequences of broken stuff. But its kid dependent. I have 2 (3 and 7) and they never destroyed anything on purpose and rarely by accident. We have a no jumping on the living room couch rule and i didn't have any non washable markers/crayons until the kittle one turned 3. Each ripped a book once around 15 months and got a stern talking to. But they also didn't climb the shelves and furniture as ive seen other kids donn

The couch is not a trampoline. Don't take the piano apart to see how it works because you are curious. Yes, if you bent it enough it will break. You put what in the microwave? Just because you can, doesn't mean that you should.

It never ends

Some kids are so much worse at this than other. I have 3 and 2 largely did the right thing. But then that other one was the one that scribbled on the walls, threw things at the doors leaving marks, spilled drinks staining rugs, sneaked food out of the kitchen and got it on furniture, put hard to peel off stickers on furniture, flushed objects down the toilet, put pencils down the shower drain, and on and on. It's got better around 5-6.

Big improvements likely at age 3. So you may be close.

Destroyed what and how? I have 2 kids and they didn't really destroy anything. (At least not much, accidents happen from time-to-time).

What are they destroying? Can you put valuables away? Need more info.

I love my two year old. I really do. I just want to have in my head the horizon for when we might be able to spend peaceful time at home together without having to watch them every second lest something be permanently damaged. 5? 6? 25?

I know the solution is to leave the house, and we do!