Anonymous wrote:OP - If you have children under 18, you may be asking way too much in terms of a reen being able to handle a major emergency of your sudden illness, injury or death? Is there no EX Husband or father of the children who at least as being appointed their guardian would make more sense?? If not, then you need to find a lawyer who could help you set up the correct legal and financial documents to protect your children. Perhaps, you could have a friend serve as your Health Care decision-making in conjunction with an 18:year old up to a certain age when you could better trust their maturity. To tell. 14 or 15 year old of your ideas, would certainly be mind blowing for them to process. You have time to start to build some personal relationships with others to build a network of caring for your family. And, it may mean whether you prefer or not that out of necessity for a certain period of time, the dad or the relatives of the dad might need to be a part of the children’s care at least.

Not OP, but spouses pass away or leave and don't want to be in the picture and people adopt and use sperm donors too. If OP had an ex or father of the children she trusted, that is probably who would be used. I assume if OP had a friend who could do this, she/he would have asked.

I assume this is just POA and not caregiver for children-correct OP. Plenty of people without kids hire others to do this. OP I find out a lot through word of mouth. If you are in a group for single parents you could post and see what comes up.

OP look into the legal limits for fees. I know if a lawyer or accountant takes on financial POA they can pay themselves up to a certain amount from the estate. That is subject to change. Same holds for family who do it.

Make sure your health POA is a nurse or someone with a decent amount of medical background who can truly advocate for you. In some ways this is better than say a cousin who is just doing it out of obligation and doesn't know how the system works. Make sure you are willing to share your entire medical history and you will sign a waver as to who can know information. One of my aunts was slightly paranoid and hired a medical POA because she had alienated her own kids with lashing out. Her adult children still loved and cared about her, but she made it so they could not get any information on her condition so they had no way of protecting her. Make sure you consider sharing information with your children. If they are biological children they should know what your medical condition is even if you become incapacitated and unable to share it for their own health history among others. Even if not biologically your children, you should allow them to know what is going on with you otherwise it can create a sense of distance and estrangement. Granted my cousins were in their 40s when this all went down, but when they tried to visit her nurses couldn't share any information and it led to them not visiting her or keeping in touch.

Ph goodness piece not peace....I am a mess

Sorry...go rogue not rouge

I disagree with the advice to try to make friends so you can get them to be healthcare POA or be there to care for your family. Friendships are fun and buffers from life stress. You don't make friends in a few months who you ask to be POA or look out for your kids. Most people have a whole bunch of people in their life who want a peace of them-elderly parents who need them, siblings they have agreed to be POA for, kids with needs, husbands or wives with health issues. I would be wary of anyone befriending me for major obligations. I am there for lifelong friends. New friends are there for coffee, walks, concerts with the family, dinners out, etc. Don't go into friendship with an agenda. It's manipulative.

That said you can hire medical professionals to do this. You need to share your medical history of course so they can advocate and make all your wishes known. It's a lot of power to give one, but there are countless stories of "trusted" family members being corrupt.

For financial POA you can hire a lawyer or accountant and I highly recommend it. Once again plenty of of "trusted" family members go rouge and it can lead to so much strife, fighting even lawsuits.

OP - If you have children under 18, you may be asking way too much in terms of a reen being able to handle a major emergency of your sudden illness, injury or death? Is there no EX Husband or father of the children who at least as being appointed their guardian would make more sense?? If not, then you need to find a lawyer who could help you set up the correct legal and financial documents to protect your children. Perhaps, you could have a friend serve as your Health Care decision-making in conjunction with an 18:year old up to a certain age when you could better trust their maturity. To tell. 14 or 15 year old of your ideas, would certainly be mind blowing for them to process. You have time to start to build some personal relationships with others to build a network of caring for your family. And, it may mean whether you prefer or not that out of necessity for a certain period of time, the dad or the relatives of the dad might need to be a part of the children’s care at least.

I have dcs under 18 and no one in my family I can trust with this task. I'd need someone to handle the Estate planning until dcs turn 18. And also looking for someone to be a healthcare POA should something happen to me and I can't make medical decisions for myself. Oldest will be 18 in just under 4 years, but until then. Tia.