Obviously I’m not moving boxes but I could not imagine saying I can’t help unpack the kitchen 1 weekend day or not let my H do what he wants because I feel jealous he’s spending time with his sibling.

Btw, if your over 40 why not hire someone to do the chores at your house you need done?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s my BIL and SIL. Can’t politely decline or say I’m unavailable. It’s frustrating because I know they can afford to hire movers, they’re just too cheap and would rather rely in free help from family and friends.

It’s my husband’s younger brother so he’s spending all day there helping him when we have shit we need to get done here to prepare for the work week.

Let your husband help. You say no.

Anonymous wrote:You're a 40something, independent, professional working woman, OP. Pay for a mover.

She should pay for her BIL’s mover?

You say "Sorry, I don't want to risk hurting myself." or you laugh and say "Aren't you old enough to hire movers yet??"

You're a 40something, independent, professional working woman, OP. Pay for a mover.

OP here. It’s my BIL and SIL. Can’t politely decline or say I’m unavailable. It’s frustrating because I know they can afford to hire movers, they’re just too cheap and would rather rely in free help from family and friends.

It’s my husband’s younger brother so he’s spending all day there helping him when we have shit we need to get done here to prepare for the work week.

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to politely decline a rude request. Give them a referral to a moving company and tell them you can't wait to see the house when they're settled.

This is also rude! Just say you can't help but wish them well. You don't have to get passive aggressive. If they can find enough help from friends/family to get their move accomplished and want to do it that way, that is their business. If you don't want to help, just say no. But giving someone a referral for a moving company when they asked if you could come help move boxes is extremely obnoxious.

Learn to say no to things without feeling the need to be a huge d!ck about it.

I don't think it would be that hard to say "I'm sorry those weekends don't work for me, good luck with your move!" Sure, it's three weekends and they will probably know that you just don't want to. Which is fine.

You don't have an obligation unless it's immediate family, or the person helped you move within the last 5 years, IMO.

You don't need to politely decline a rude request. Give them a referral to a moving company and tell them you can't wait to see the house when they're settled.

Just say you’ll hire movers for 2 hours while you hang out with your friends and eat pizza.

I agree OP

We are early 60s- still working, still fit- and my DH was asked to do this recently!

"Ha, I'm too old for that." or "I can help for two hours on Sat. There better be beer."

You can say you're not available. Why do you feel the need to make up an excuse?

Am I alone in thinking that by your forties, you should be willing to hire professional movers, especially if you have a professional job? Is it wrong that I find this expectation to help annoying? There’s no good way of politely declining with an excuse when someone says - we’ve taking 3 weeks in June to move, which weekend do you want to help run boxes over to the new house? I can’t exactly say I’m busy all day every weekend for 3 weeks.