Have kids after done with career. My wife worked all through college got a job at an investment bank and did it 16 years till totally burnt out

Had a kid 36, 38 and 42. Her little group of moms with MBA all left workforce between 36-45 for good

Sounds backwards. But they all retired by 40.

‘Here’s two anecdotes’

Largely…no. You’re sacrificing one or the other or have family/spouse that does. Can’t be in two places at once. Plenty of regretful moms/dads who took the parent path and never caught up.

Kaplan and RBG were both born in 1933 and had a lot of the career achievement that they are now most lauded for relatively later on in life.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is possible if you have a great support network. I know somebody who did it after having 3 kids but she had a live in helper and nearby lived also her parents (they basically took over a huge part of parenting duties)

Or are divorced and dad has no choice. BTDT.

Of course. I did this. I know multiple women who did.

I have two friends that did this. One had three kids directly after college. Stayed home for nearly a decade, had some small roles, and is now a few years out of law school.

Another is a few years into her teaching career. Her oldest is in their mid-twenties, and the youngest is 12.

Anonymous wrote:I mean -- it sounds like you have 20 years in the workforce ahead of you to do something big with your career if you want.

People who spend an enormous amount of time on their career are not spending enormous amount of time with their kids. This is true for men too. There really are only so many hours in a day.

And, don't be fooled by magazine profiles. If there is someone at your current corporate job who is absolutely killing it in the role but also with really strict work-life balance and never a hair over 40 hrs a week -- take that person to coffee and learn about them.

I have found that these people inevitably have local family who help them out - usually local grandparents - or a stay-at-home/flexible-job spouse.

I am close to this description and my "best kept secret" is I have an only child and am keeping it that way.

I mean -- it sounds like you have 20 years in the workforce ahead of you to do something big with your career if you want.

People who spend an enormous amount of time on their career are not spending enormous amount of time with their kids. This is true for men too. There really are only so many hours in a day.

And, don't be fooled by magazine profiles. If there is someone at your current corporate job who is absolutely killing it in the role but also with really strict work-life balance and never a hair over 40 hrs a week -- take that person to coffee and learn about them.

I happened to have a kid in my 20s due to various life circumstances, took a couple years out of the workforce and I do think it was better to do it then compared to my 30s. Those were lower-earning, lower-stakes years; didn't miss out on big opportunities or promotions. That being said, even mature married 20-somethings are selfish and the mental stage is not super compatible with motherhood.

My mother and aunts all did this 50 years ago. College, marriage, kids, then jobs or higher education followed by jobs.

Anonymous wrote:Having kids later is the wrinkle. I think RBG had them pretty young. Having them earlier gives you more uninterrupted time to focus on your career but thats just not the way it crumbles anymore, esp as women are encouraged to start a career out of college.

I had my first in law school. The cookie crumbles however you bend it.

Having kids later is the wrinkle. I think RBG had them pretty young. Having them earlier gives you more uninterrupted time to focus on your career but thats just not the way it crumbles anymore, esp as women are encouraged to start a career out of college.

I think it is possible if you have a great support network. I know somebody who did it after having 3 kids but she had a live in helper and nearby lived also her parents (they basically took over a huge part of parenting duties)

I doubt if it’s easier or harder either way, but I think it’s reasonable to acknowledge that having kids will take a big chunk out of a woman’s career at some point. And hopefully a man’s too frankly.

My alumni magazine featured Helene Kaplan recently. She finished college, got married then 10 years and two kids later went to law school. Joined Skadden and has a long list of accomplishments and extensive involvement in various organizations.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg had one of her two kids before going to law school.

I had kids rather late (36 and 38), actually spent 7 years in a different career, then 7 years as SAHM. Re-entered the workforce in mid-40s and now in corporate firm. I wish I had more time to develop my career uninterrupted like the two women I mentioned earlier had AND had more time to live out life with kids and grandkids.