Your mom knows her children. She knows who has always handled everything, who always remembers. There’s no point in intervening because you’re not fooling anybody. You’ve done your part and then some.

Stop stepping in. Let them figure it out. You did your part. It might take a few years. They may step up, they may not, but either way you don’t need to do it for them anymore.

Stop it!! You don’t need to do anything else for your mom. Let them look like jerks. I cannot even believe you keep reminding them about this stuff. They don’t care. Let the chips fall where they may.

No. You shouldn’t cave. You reminded them and that’s more than enough. I would bring your mom flowers tomorrow and see if she wants to go to lunch or dinner with only you. If one of your other siblings steps up you can back out and say why dont I let you and x spend some time together since we already celebrated.

It’s not your responsibility or problem to manage your siblings relationships with their mom. However I would also not leave her alone on her birthday since it seems like you two are close.

I would use this opportunity to notify the siblings that you're dropping the rope from here on out. They're on their own to put reminders in their calendar. You will not do any of it anymore.

This isn't your problem. Time for the others to grow up and develop their own plans and take responsibility for their successes and failures in the gift department. Were your siblings adopted? A 70 yr old having a 23 and 25 yr old seems old. (Just curious about the dynamic here.)

I would let your siblings create their own adult relationship with their mother. Maybe that doesn’t include gifts. And maybe your mom is fine either way. Stand back and let them all work it out.

Anonymous wrote:You need to let them stand or fall on their own. If I were you, I'd send or drop off flowers for her.

This and the flowers are from you do not sign sibling names. Don’t bring it up to your mom or siblings. It’s their responsibility to manage their relationship not yours. If your mom cares it’s her responsibility to speak to them.

You need to let them stand or fall on their own. If I were you, I'd send or drop off flowers for her.

I have 3 siblings. I'm the oldest and always the one who coordinates things for our parents' birthdays. This usually consists of me finding the gift we give them as a collective group and collecting the money from my siblings. Or me making the dinner reservation. I think this came about when I was in college, probably my freshmen year, and they all forgot my mom's birthday without me being there to remind them. So of course, being the good big sis I am, I added their names to my card and gift. The next year when I reminded them of our mom's bday, they asked if they could just chip in on whatever I picked out and I agreed, and it's continued like that since then.

I took my mom on a big trip in late May as an early bday gift to her. I have a card to give her tomorrow on her actual bday, but she knew the trip was her gift from me. I had to go for work to a country that she'd always wanted to visit, so I asked her to join me and extended my time in that location for 5 days. I gave my siblings a heads up in February when I booked things that I was taking her as my gift to her (it's also a milestone bday, age 70) so they needed to get gifts on their own. I've reminded them since.

I just talked to my mom and asked what her plans were for her bday tomorrow. She said she had no plans. She was going to the farmer's market with a friend and that was it. I texted my siblings in our sibling group chat and basically, no one planned anything. No one made reservations. No one bought a gift. No one even has a card! In fact, my youngest brother forgot about her bday since "no one told me to put anything in my calendar" and made other nonrefundable plans with friends.

Part of me wants to run out and get a gift and make the reservation but a bigger part of me wants to not do either of those things. They are 23 & 25 years old!