Anonymous wrote:Hold the line. Kids enjoy boundaries and rules; it makes them feel safe. When there is a boundary or a rule, make sure you enforce it and don't be wishy washy about it. If you say that you will leave the playground if your kids push each other, then leave the playground when it happens. Sometimes it's hard as a parent (like leaving restaurants or leaving your own friends' houses), but if you don't do it behavior won't improve. I have so much fun with my kids, but they know I mean what I say.

I totally agree with this. There is nothing wrong with calling your kids out when they’re wrong. That’s how they learn. Looking back, I think it’s also important for them to learn about disappointment and not getting their way in every situation. They learn resilience and respect and empathy for others.

Let your yesses mean yes and your nos mean no

For those who disagree that parenting is not intuitive: please think of parents who are bad. We all know them. They think they're doing the right thing but they aren't. Maybe it felt intuitive for you but we do not know the right things to do with toddlers jus because we birthed a child.

Anonymous wrote:Don't make idle threats!

+1

Be present as a parent. If you kid is being a jerk, correct them. Pay attention and model well for your child.

Anonymous wrote:Prioritize sleep. Go outside and play every day, no matter the weather. In fact, especially in bad weather! Limit screens.

This exactly. And carry healthy snacks at all times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually the best advice I got was 1) parenting is not intuitive and a non-parent can often have better advice than a parent, and 2) more often than not, there is not a direct causation between a parent's parenting style and a child's behavior.

Boy I disagree about it being intuitive. My best advice is to trust your mother's instinct. It's real and it will guide you.

I agree with this especially with babies/toddlers. I think a lot of the problems that people have at this stage happen because they are having their heads turned but lots of advice about what you should and shouldn't do, when really you just need to pay attention to your child and meet their needs.

I have found parenting elementary-age kids more challenging and sometimes resist my intuition now because I can see that some instincts don't work within the society we actually live in (they might work great if we were still a hunter-gatherer society, but they don't work in madden society). But for little kids? Just trust yourself -- your love for them is a great guide and don't let people who are supposedly more "objective" tell you otherwise.

Don't make idle threats!

Limit screens absolutely as much as possible. It's a slippery slope.

Anonymous wrote:Actually the best advice I got was 1) parenting is not intuitive and a non-parent can often have better advice than a parent, and 2) more often than not, there is not a direct causation between a parent's parenting style and a child's behavior.

The only people who believe #1 are non-parents who just know they will be the bestest parents in the world.

Anonymous wrote:Actually the best advice I got was 1) parenting is not intuitive and a non-parent can often have better advice than a parent, and 2) more often than not, there is not a direct causation between a parent's parenting style and a child's behavior.

Wow, I completely disagree about it not being intuitive. I guess maybe some people truly have no intuitive instincts but my experience has been the exact (like, polar.) opposite.

Anonymous wrote:Actually the best advice I got was 1) parenting is not intuitive and a non-parent can often have better advice than a parent, and 2) more often than not, there is not a direct causation between a parent's parenting style and a child's behavior.

Boy I disagree about it being intuitive. My best advice is to trust your mother's instinct. It's real and it will guide you.

Prioritize sleep. Go outside and play every day, no matter the weather. In fact, especially in bad weather! Limit screens.

Actually the best advice I got was 1) parenting is not intuitive and a non-parent can often have better advice than a parent, and 2) more often than not, there is not a direct causation between a parent's parenting style and a child's behavior.

Hold the line. Kids enjoy boundaries and rules; it makes them feel safe. When there is a boundary or a rule, make sure you enforce it and don't be wishy washy about it. If you say that you will leave the playground if your kids push each other, then leave the playground when it happens. Sometimes it's hard as a parent (like leaving restaurants or leaving your own friends' houses), but if you don't do it behavior won't improve. I have so much fun with my kids, but they know I mean what I say.

I'm a new (toddler) mom and feel like there are so many books out there about how to raise toddlers (gentle parenting, etc.) but I always wonder what the kids of these authors are actually like. Meanwhile, my neighbor has wonderful children -- kind, thoughtful, doing their best at school, etc. and I always say I'd rather pick my neighbors' brain than any of these authors.

So, what are the tips you have/have gotten that you feel really contributes to "good" kids?

p.s. I know the definition of good can be contentious, but for arguments sake, I'm going to say kind, thoughtful, decently behaved, etc.