Anonymous wrote:You and your daughter both need to work on your assertiveness, and be crystal-clear on your rights and responsibilities as drivers.

If there is an accident, call the police. Take pictures. Write down the details of what happened. Then get your insurance company involved -- this is what you're paying for.

If your daughter dissolves in hysterical tears when something goes wrong, maybe she's not ready to be driving on her own just yet.

I know. It has taken me a long time post-divorce to stand up for myself at all and I hate that I can't do it now. But it's like I'm paralyzed with fear. I can't explain it. But I see the exact same thing happening with my daughter and I don't know how to stop it. The woman screaming at her set off her instincts- it was a very unusual reaction which is why I reacted by trying to appease the situation.

It sounds like going through insurance is best and letting them be assertive and let the chips fall where they will with her dad.

You and your daughter both need to work on your assertiveness, and be crystal-clear on your rights and responsibilities as drivers.

If there is an accident, call the police. Take pictures. Write down the details of what happened. Then get your insurance company involved -- this is what you're paying for.

If your daughter dissolves in hysterical tears when something goes wrong, maybe she's not ready to be driving on her own just yet.

People can be so shady. I had an incident (with a new young driver) where the car next to me hit my parked car as she backed out. Totally her fault, totally not a huge accident. We were dealing with it fine. The woman ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY CAR then claimed that her hitting my car somehow caused a dent in her own car. It was insane and I felt so bad for the girl, who was already very nervous. Luckily, her parents showed up then.

Anonymous wrote:Why the heck would you have asked for another quote after you got $350???

This! Body damage is always expensive. $350 honestly sounds like a steal. You should have paid this and been done with the situation.

I do get why you didn’t want to go through insurance with such a new driver.

I think put on your big girl panties and be firm with the woman. She’s trying to pull one over on you for sure and sees an opportunity.

Sorry about the scary dad situation.

This is OP- I am the mom and we are divorced and she is SCARED of dad in the same way I was scared of dad when I got divorced. No physical but the emotional stuff is really heavy. That was part of why I wanted to keep it off insurance and protect her and keep it away from him.

When I asked her if she got another quote it was just to make sure we were ready to finalize the money.

And yes, we have now spoken of needing to get the police report. It all happened so fast and she was crying and screaming not to tell her dad and I was trying to relax her and appease this other woman. Not my finest hour.

Why the heck would you have asked for another quote after you got $350???

Anonymous wrote:Are you the mom or dad?

I hate to say this but get your husband to call and say firmly it’s $350 and to never contact you again and if she chooses to go through insurance it will be clear your daughter wasn’t at fault and she’ll get nothing so if she goes that route good luck.

And next time wait for the police and get a police report.

Are you the mom or dad?

I hate to say this but get your husband to call and say firmly it’s $350 and to never contact you again and if she chooses to go through insurance it will be clear your daughter wasn’t at fault and she’ll get nothing so if she goes that route good luck.

This is OP- My concern is this is a he said, she said situation and the older mom is going to be believed. And that’s going to Jack up insurance for years even if it’s a no fault accident.

Can you offer to pay the $350 one? This kind of sounds like a woman I don’t want to deal with thougu so I may go with insurance. If your daughter was truly not moving and she was reversing I think she has to be at fault?!

Why are you offering to pay if she backed into your DD? It seems like you are indeed admitting fault. Is there any damage to your DD’s car?

My understanding is that whoever is in reverse is always at fault

That’s a tough one. Can you ask her to get a third estimate?

In my DD’s very first week of driving she got into a small accident. She was in a parking lot and a woman backed into her. My DD was not even moving…but was in her 1st week of driving. She called me crying and the other woman claimed “I don’t know why she didn’t see my reverse lights.” I wasn’t there and wasn’t a witness but asked her to send a picture of the damage which was a tiny dent on her rear bumper probably caused from the license plate. I told her that I didn’t want to go through the insurance (again- 1st week driver), but didn’t conclude who was at fault, I just wanted to end it.

We exchanged IDs and insurance and drove away so there are no witnesses or police reports.

The next day she emailed me a quote for around $350. I said thank you and asked if she was getting another to which she replied yes and sent me one for over $1700. She said this one would be quicker and more thorough when I asked why it was 5x more.

Under $500, I was paying out without question so that it stays off DD’s insurance. But this woman sketches me out. She screamed at my DD and I’m 99% sure she was at fault she just is blaming it on the crying emotional new driver. How bad would it be to go through insurance? Would you pay out $1700 for an accident that wasn’t your child’s fault to protect their record when the first estimate was under $400? I’m a single mom and need advice.

Thx!