I want the relationship to end. My biggest fear is that it continues. But I know that if it ends it’s going to come with a great deal of difficulty.

On the bright side, they are both going to college.

How did your son have a "long distance relationship" for three years of high school? They dated in person freshman year and then she moved away? This already sounds pretty cringe. It will hit him hard when she breaks up with him. Especially bad if, as I assume, this is his first and only girlfriend.

Anonymous wrote:I would just encourage him to make separate friends. So that if/when they break up, he won’t lose all his friends too.

Yep. If he's like my kid, he may have already burned bridges with friends. I agree that a fall breakup is likely. I hope the school is big enough that they can avoid each other.

Terrible mistake. I say that as someone who did the same thing. Not same school but same city. One of us had to transfer out of state by Christmas. Make sure your son has settled on his transfer school. Get the deadlines, requirements, applications, fees etc all lined up now. Best to be prepared and efficient about the inevitable

Anonymous wrote:So.... start giving him as much support as you can beforehand. I've seen this before. Turned out so bad I can't even post it on an anonymous board.

Murder?

So.... start giving him as much support as you can beforehand. I've seen this before. Turned out so bad I can't even post it on an anonymous board.

I would just encourage him to make separate friends. So that if/when they break up, he won’t lose all his friends too.

Anonymous wrote:They will be broken up by thanksgiving.

This is the most likely scenario. By Christmas at the latest. Live in hope OP!

BTDT with my DC. Not good at all when things break up but it is their choice to make. Sorry about it.

They will be broken up by thanksgiving.

Or maybe they will both grow and mature in college bringing them closer together in a positive way or making them realize the relationship is toxic and they'll drift apart. Either way, it is never up to us, but up to them to decide.

If it’s a relatively big school, they can choose to never see each other again if they’d like.

Unfortunately, this is his mistake to make (or not).

My son has committed to the same school as his girlfriend. They have a very toxic and overly dependent relationship. We don’t like her or the relationship and he was very sneaky and deceptive but clearly they planned it. They initially planned to go to a different school but then he didn’t get in so low and behold her first choice became the school he is going to. We can’t really pull the plug on the school because he has no other option and her parents are completely clueless and still think it’s all a big coincidence. The likelihood of them surviving to marriage is small but they have managed to keep a dysfunctional and primarily long distance relationship going for almost 3 years. I’m very concerned that this will have a very big and negative impact on him.