Did the teacher make him put vaseline on his face and pick up cotton balls?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You definitely need to talk to the teacher, but in a very low key way – I wouldn’t mention that he comes home crying, maybe just that he doesn’t seem very happy and you’re wondering if there is anything going on in the classroom. The response will tell you where to go next.

This. The counselor isn't going to be able to help at this point. Also, it's suspicious that your kid doesn't want you involved. Don't accuse the teacher. It's possible that you haven't heard the real story.

It’s not suspicious at all that the kid doesn’t want her involved. What 12 year old boy wants to admit he had to have his mom rescue him?

Anonymous wrote:You definitely need to talk to the teacher, but in a very low key way – I wouldn’t mention that he comes home crying, maybe just that he doesn’t seem very happy and you’re wondering if there is anything going on in the classroom. The response will tell you where to go next.

This. The counselor isn't going to be able to help at this point. Also, it's suspicious that your kid doesn't want you involved. Don't accuse the teacher. It's possible that you haven't heard the real story.

You definitely need to talk to the teacher, but in a very low key way – I wouldn’t mention that he comes home crying, maybe just that he doesn’t seem very happy and you’re wondering if there is anything going on in the classroom. The response will tell you where to go next.

The counselor isn't going to be able to speak about what is going on in class or with the teacher. Start with the teacher. And the PP is correct. You are the parent. 12 year-olds do not get to tell their parents not to get involved. Get involved and ask questions in an objective way. Since you have not heard from the teacher about your child's behavior, there is a chance it could be a big misunderstanding.

Get involved.

Considering it’s mid May, I would encourage you to speak to the teacher. Maybe she will highlight a few things that your child hasn’t told you about.

My kid had a teacher like this and I totally regret not getting involved. I actually regret not insisting that they change my kid to a different class. This was elementary and I ended up sending my kid to private school for a few years to undo the damage to his self esteem. Do not hesitate to step in, esp. if your kid is in that very vulnerable middle school period.

Look, you need to talk to the teacher. Yes, your kid says not to get involved, but your kid is 12 and you’re the parent. It’s not up to him.

Don’t simply assume that it’s the teacher’s fault or approach the teacher in an accusatory or defensive way. Be as objective as you can. Be curious. Tell the teacher that your son comes home very upset that he’s being singled out, and while you have absolutely no reason to believe that that’s true, you’re hoping that that the teacher can shed some light on what’s going on. And yes, tell the teacher that you’re approaching them against your son’s wishes and that they shouldn’t mention it to your son. The teacher will appreciate knowing that the two of you aren’t ganging up on them.

You are going to meet with the teacher first, right? Right?

Which school? Is it an elective? We had a similar experience earlier this year. The teacher should be fired.

There might be something bigger going on. I would reach out to the counselor first.

She has consistently singled him out in negative ways and doesn’t make any effort to hide her dislike for him. He’s 12. He comes home and cries. That’s all. Not looking for advice, just needed to put it out there (he is adamant that I not get involved).

How do you know he's telling the truth? Kids this age often blame things on the teacher. Maybe he "doesn't want you to get involved" because you'll find out that he's lying. Maybe he's misbehaving and she's just calling him on it.

You should get involved and it’s not up for discussion with him. The teacher shouldn’t be able to get away with it. What do you think is the basis for her singling him out?

She has consistently singled him out in negative ways and doesn’t make any effort to hide her dislike for him. He’s 12. He comes home and cries. That’s all. Not looking for advice, just needed to put it out there (he is adamant that I not get involved).