I would encourage him/her to try weight-loss drugs. Weight loss will be good for health and likely jumpstart feeling better and taking more healthy actions, for a positive spiral instead of a negative one. Maybe try a weight loss clinic. They may give her the drugs on the spot.

Anonymous wrote:Tell him he looks like a blimp and you can no longer have sex with him because of how unattractive he's become.

Would you say that if spouse was a woman? BC I think OP is a man and the fat spouse is a woman.

Re: Weight, you need to back off. You've made your position clear. It's their body and their call.

If you're worried they're depressed, then WTF are you doing talking about weight loss?? Focus on the depression! Get them in therapy and do something active together (like walks, not to lose weight but because exercise is very effective in treating depression).

Do not focus on a depressed persons' WEIGHT that's a terrible idea.

Only your spouse can decide to make a change. You can't change their mind.

Fwiw, I think OP is male and talking about his wife. My advice is the same either way.

Binge eating is an anxiety disorder. Have your partner discuss with a physician. The drugs work in tandem with lifestyle changes and won’t be very effective (particularly in the long term) without changes. If you’re afraid to broach weight with your partner, discuss that the binge eating behavior is concerning and that you are worried about bot his phsycial health and mental health.

Tell him he looks like a blimp and you can no longer have sex with him because of how unattractive he's become.

OP here, thanks for the responses. I realize there is a depression issue here which contributes to the snacking after dinner (I maybe shouldn't have used the term binge eating as I saw a definition in another post). The problem is I think depression is both a cause and a result. They gain weight, then are depressed so self-medicate with food which leads to more weight gain. This cycle has been going on for years. I will try to convince them to get a physical which is easier said then done because they avoid all doctors unless pretty sick. I think they know any Dr will tell them they need to lose weight and they don't want to hear it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, every person I know for whom those drugs made a difference also made drastic changes to their lifestyle - exercise, healthy eating, etc. From what I understand, the drugs help you regulate your appetite, but you still have to do the work. The extra 100lbs did not come out of nowhere.

Correct and you can still binge eat on semaglutides. It will just make you terribly sick, but people still do it because they haven’t addressed their mental health problems.

FACTS!

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, every person I know for whom those drugs made a difference also made drastic changes to their lifestyle - exercise, healthy eating, etc. From what I understand, the drugs help you regulate your appetite, but you still have to do the work. The extra 100lbs did not come out of nowhere.

Correct and you can still binge eat on semaglutides. It will just make you terribly sick, but people still do it because they haven’t addressed their mental health problems.

The thing is, every person I know for whom those drugs made a difference also made drastic changes to their lifestyle - exercise, healthy eating, etc. From what I understand, the drugs help you regulate your appetite, but you still have to do the work. The extra 100lbs did not come out of nowhere.

I think it a man

Anonymous wrote:He needs to have a full physical so the doctor can show him the results and explain what they mean, which should scare the hell out of him. If that doesn't do it, don't know what will honestly.

Why do you assume OP is talking about a man? Seems to me OP was intentionally cagey about this….

He needs to have a full physical so the doctor can show him the results and explain what they mean, which should scare the hell out of him. If that doesn't do it, don't know what will honestly.

Your spouse need to talk to a doctor and get some tests done. Start there. Seeing that I was prediabetic, plus I had sleep apnea issues caused by weight gain, made me realize that the risks of being overweight were likely greater than the risks of the medication.

My spouse is obese, probably 100 lbs over a healthy weight. Has all the excuses for why they weigh this much - work stress, no time to exercise, kid stress, etc - but is a terrible eater. Binge eats every night after everyone else is asleep. I was more sympathetic before all these weight loss drugs were approved but now I feel like they are just ducking any responsibility. I get that it's no fun to inject these drugs every week but at this rate they'll have type 2 diabetes soon and will have to inject insulin anyway. They say their worried about the side effects and long term health outcomes from these drugs but I said the health effects of obesity aren't any better. What can I do to convince them to give these drugs a try?