What's wrong with a bra strap?

I'd hate for a kid to avoid wearing a proper bra just because the strap is visible.

I had very clear rules when I was a teenager and plan to impose the same rules for my own kids. It's not hard - I don't want to see bra straps, belly buttons, or butt cheeks. This is more about appropriate undergarments than anything else (for example, the bra straps thing doesn't mean don't wear a racer back or strapless dress... it just means wear the right bra for the outfit).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Never have. I’m not thrilled with how short some of the shorts they buy are but I let them. They’re now 18 and 20 but I never had limits for them.

Same.

I do tell my 16 yo that even though you think we should live in a world where men/boys aren’t ogling you, we do live in that world. Wear what you want, but please don’t complain when you attract unwanted attention.

Ha. Oh….trust me, they know it gains male attention

Anonymous wrote:It has to be appropriate for the occasion. Summer BBQ--go short, go cropped. I don't care.

Winter concert at the Kennedy Center--dress appropriately

+1 and three thoughts:

1) and also, in conversations NOT about her, I've introduced the idea of "classy"....careful to avoid triggering defense mechanisms by comparing "classy" to "trashy" or "skanky" or anything else. Just up-talked "classy" or stylish dressing.

My now 20 y.o. DD has always dressed on target for her age, but she always is on the classy side and I think that's partly due to me...

2) oh when my DDs were younger, I used to playfully threaten (jokingly, folks) that if they wore jean shorts with their butt hanging out, then I would too. I'd warn them that I'd pick them up from school, yelling, "YOOO-HOO! LAAAAARRRLA! Mom's here!" in my too-short jeanshorts. This always got a big laugh but I think it did help a bit

3) More importantly, I think it's important to teach kids WHY they are looking in the mirror, and encourage them to look in the mirror for the (mentally healthier) reasons. Why do people look in the mirror? Some to examine their flaws, take themselves apart. I encouraged my DDs to look in the mirror to see that they are appropriately dressed for the occasion, and didn't miss a button, etc. This is easier to explain when they are younger. But it's still do-able with a teen, if you are speaking in general terms as opposed to talking about them specificly.

If you think about it, mirrors are really recent in evolutionary terms, and even then, at the beginning were reserved for the elite. Clear mirrors that are accssible for everyone have been around for just the tiniest blip in human evolution. We are just not designed for mirrors to be non-stop in our faces. When we moved to a new place, one whole wall of each of my kids' rooms was mirrored. I don't think that's healthy!

Anonymous wrote:It has to be appropriate for the occasion. Summer BBQ--go short, go cropped. I don't care.

Winter concert at the Kennedy Center--dress appropriately

THIS

No

I agree with teaching context awareness instead of just setting up a battle of wills.

It has to be appropriate for the occasion. Summer BBQ--go short, go cropped. I don't care.

Winter concert at the Kennedy Center--dress appropriately

Anonymous wrote:Nope. Never have. I’m not thrilled with how short some of the shorts they buy are but I let them. They’re now 18 and 20 but I never had limits for them.

Same.

I do tell my 16 yo that even though you think we should live in a world where men/boys aren’t ogling you, we do live in that world. Wear what you want, but please don’t complain when you attract unwanted attention.

Nope. Never have. I’m not thrilled with how short some of the shorts they buy are but I let them. They’re now 18 and 20 but I never had limits for them.

No. But she hasn’t expressed any interest in wearing something I would consider controversial. She wear leggings and tee shirts with a hoodie pretty much daily. I wouldn’t care if she wore a crop top, as long as it was an actual shirt, not a bra.

No but I do have limits on what I will buy. Only things she will wear/is allowed to wear to school or church. But I let crops in, who cares?

A good friend's 10 year old DD was wearing shorts so short and tight I didn't quite know where to put my eyes. I really do empathize with parents in this position.

Education works better than limits. Kids can hide tiny clothes and change when they leave the housem

Do you set limits on what your teen DD wears? My DD is 13 and wears crop tops of varying lengths.