Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough with sports but kids do it so they might have better advice.

My advice - don’t do everything at once. What season does your son play his sports? Could he devote more time to his leadership activities in the off-season?

It's EXTREMELY difficult. And I worry about my kid doing too much. It's almost like they have to choose between things, even when they have multiple interests (like mine does). And it sucks.

And I'll note that the coaches and teacher advisors don't help. Everything is "this activity needs to be the priority and if it's not you won't [letter/get credit/ be permitted to participate]." There's VERY little flexibility to allow kids to try different things, or recognize some kids have an interest but may not want to dedicate themselves full time to the Green Club or other clubs, and then they get spread way too thin. This is the time to try things! And yet they can't do it.

This is what drives me nuts.

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes was late to after school varsity sports practice because I was in a club that was meeting. Usually it was OK. I don't know if it's still like that.

I remember one time, I was in a club that met on Tuesday and one that met on Thursday. One week, the advisor for the Tuesday club needed to talk to some of us urgently (the editors- it was newspaper) after school on Thursday. I told my friend to tell the other advisor I would be a few minutes late.

When I walked into the Thursday club at 3:20, that advisor was furious. I was just a good kid trying my best, trying to do as I was told. Some teachers actually had it out for high achieving kids. I honestly think she was angry that some of us were going places.

Anyway, my point is-- I hope things are better now but it's terrible what we do to these kids.

It's not better. My kid has experienced things like this. And DC's primary sport coach would not excuse them for anything other than medical (and even it was "encouraged" that they go at other times that didn't conflict with practice) or things like important academics (i.e., tests). No excused for other clubs. No excuses for yearbook pics (which are annoyingly after school in the fall at our HS) so my kid won't even be in the stupid yearbook for anything but the sport. A minor issue but stil. . . .

Can he got involved in class or school leadership (class president, class secretary, etc) or show leadership through his club or school teams (e.g., caption of the swim team)? He should start thinking about how to position himself to get a captain spot and you may actually be able to help him a bit with this subtly by helping to host team suppers or organizing things for the coaches. My parents never did this type of thing but I saw how some parents did and it helped to position their children as leaders. If he's spending this much time swimming he should be going to the service academy swim camps (if they exist) and speaking to the coaches as early as possible. They are really going to be integral to helping him get in.

I ran three seasons in HS and was a recruited DI athlete at an Ivy. I ran seven days a week and was a huge time commitment. I can't imagine doing a club sport on top of that. My kids are young but they are involved in water polo which has a similar level of commitment to swimming starting at a young age and it's really crazy to me. It's too early to say, but I would probably not advise/want them to do club water polo during their school season. I've looked at the schedules and it would truly be insane. I don't think they'd have time for homework.

I sometimes was late to after school varsity sports practice because I was in a club that was meeting. Usually it was OK. I don't know if it's still like that.

I remember one time, I was in a club that met on Tuesday and one that met on Thursday. One week, the advisor for the Tuesday club needed to talk to some of us urgently (the editors- it was newspaper) after school on Thursday. I told my friend to tell the other advisor I would be a few minutes late.

When I walked into the Thursday club at 3:20, that advisor was furious. I was just a good kid trying my best, trying to do as I was told. Some teachers actually had it out for high achieving kids. I honestly think she was angry that some of us were going places.

Anyway, my point is-- I hope things are better now but it's terrible what we do to these kids.

I agree that it's very hard. Mine is involved in a sport that is also year round and very time-intensive. We found that adding the HS version of the sport was really challenging b/c it left so little time outside of school hours to get anything done. I'm not sure it was worth it.

We know a family friend going to a service academy and that student did JROTC at school. That took away time from their sport on occasion, but was a huge help getting into the service academy. Maybe look at that instead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough with sports but kids do it so they might have better advice.

My advice - don’t do everything at once. What season does your son play his sports? Could he devote more time to his leadership activities in the off-season?

It's EXTREMELY difficult. And I worry about my kid doing too much. It's almost like they have to choose between things, even when they have multiple interests (like mine does). And it sucks.

And I'll note that the coaches and teacher advisors don't help. Everything is "this activity needs to be the priority and if it's not you won't [letter/get credit/ be permitted to participate]." There's VERY little flexibility to allow kids to try different things, or recognize some kids have an interest but may not want to dedicate themselves full time to the Green Club or other clubs, and then they get spread way too thin. This is the time to try things! And yet they can't do it.

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough with sports but kids do it so they might have better advice.

My advice - don’t do everything at once. What season does your son play his sports? Could he devote more time to his leadership activities in the off-season?

It's EXTREMELY difficult. And I worry about my kid doing too much. It's almost like they have to choose between things, even when they have multiple interests (like mine does). And it sucks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's swimming, so year-round (club and school).

My kid is a swimmer. How much is he swimming with the club year round? Swimming can consume your entire life if you let it but there are scaled back club options.

This. My kid does a 9 month program that practices 4 days/week. She doesn’t do club meets during HS season. Sure she could be doing more, and she has friends who are, but she has other interests and is not looking to swim in college so this meets her needs.

Anonymous wrote:It's swimming, so year-round (club and school).

My kid is a swimmer. How much is he swimming with the club year round? Swimming can consume your entire life if you let it but there are scaled back club options.

Does his school have an activity period? My kids go to a private school that does this. Once a week, there's an extended lunch period when clubs meet. They may have extra activities at other times, but nothing after school.

Aside from that, he could look for something that doesn't meet that often but that he still finds interesting. He could explain to the moderator that it's tough to come during swim season. A lot of club moderators are willing to work with kids who show up most of the time.

He could also look for church-oriented activities.

Anonymous wrote:It's swimming, so year-round (club and school).

If he drops one, is club or school more useful?

It's swimming, so year-round (club and school).

^^Agree with above. Do other activities when their sport is not in season.

If they are year round multi-sport athlete, it would be tough. Did not understand the time commitment for HS sports until my kid just started doing their one spring sport. So much respect now for kids who do more than 1!

It’s tough with sports but kids do it so they might have better advice.

My advice - don’t do everything at once. What season does your son play his sports? Could he devote more time to his leadership activities in the off-season?

14 year old DS is a freshman and has his sights set on the service academies. We're struggling to fit in any leadership activities besides his 2 hour sports practices, which are sometimes twice a day. Scouts and anything that requires a weekday meeting is out because of his sport. He obviously doesn't drive yet, which compounds the issue.

I know prioitizing and learning to schedule is part of making himself a good candidate, but I could use some advice. This just isn't something I deal with in industry (people know there are a finite number of hours!)