Registry is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:My sibling's oldest daughter is graduating from college. Last week, I received a list of suggestions from her about graduation gifts. I think she meant to be helpful, and I like this niece--but I'm slightly turned off by getting a list of housewares from Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn, etc. She included notes indicating that any gift would be appreciated, and it doesn't have to be the exact item, etc., this was just if we needed ideas...but still. I'm a GenXer who had to scrape together my own housewares (for my first apartment) on my own post-graduation budget, mainly from thrift stores--no $ given to me by aunts/uncles, etc. I recall that as a time when I too had aspirations of living stylishly, but not the budget.

My family is ok financially, but we have some unexpected huge expenses coming up in the next few months, and I don't feel it's my role to set up Niece in her first apartment. Suggestions for what to do here that would fit my frugal mentality but not seem cheap? I could go very low-key and send a very nice card, but the issue is that there are other relatives who will likely splurge on Niece, particularly another sibling, single/no kids.

Let go of your past issues. You are not cheap but you are poor. You should send money and a heartfelt note.

Target gift card if she wants to set up her new place. Whatever amount you choose is a nice gift and who cares what other people did - you do you!

Cashola

For all kids over 13 in my family. Or -nice-heirloom type jewelry.

Sounds like she could use the cash. Housewares are typically wedding gifts in my family.

Anonymous wrote:First it’s clear from your post that you are basically concerned that you will look cheap in comparison to other relatives. You are pissed that she is asking for things that the other relatives are happy to give but you are not. She was clear that she wasn’t asking for the exact thing and other things are appreciated as well. She’s not being rude at all.

You are being pissy because you want to be cheap without appearing cheap. You are now judging her for wanting stylish housewares which you also wanted but didn’t get.

I couldn’t say it better.

Anonymous wrote:Give her $100.

This.

Give her $100.

I’d give a nice piece of jewelry she can wear to work or on dates, or something she can use in her working life like a nice leather work bag.

For my family, (I have 3 nephews and nieces in total) college graduation meant the end of gift giving. The next gift will be for a wedding. With this in mind, I gave each of them a monetary gift. The registry list is a turn off so I write a check and be done with it. My only thought is to keep your gift consistent with all nieces and nephews (no favorites).

First it’s clear from your post that you are basically concerned that you will look cheap in comparison to other relatives. You are pissed that she is asking for things that the other relatives are happy to give but you are not. She was clear that she wasn’t asking for the exact thing and other things are appreciated as well. She’s not being rude at all.

You are being pissy because you want to be cheap without appearing cheap. You are now judging her for wanting stylish housewares which you also wanted but didn’t get.

$25-50 gift card to pottery barn.

Why do you care what others give her? Who cars how you had to use thrift shops? Just be kind, be nice and give her something you can afford. Cash always works.

Wouldn't you give her something anyways? List or Venmo what is the difference? Or you suffered so she must too?

Signed,
Gen Xer (literally has my college boyfriend pick me up after fight with my Dad 3 days after graduation, drove to DC and never looked back. Married someone else.)

My sibling's oldest daughter is graduating from college. Last week, I received a list of suggestions from her about graduation gifts. I think she meant to be helpful, and I like this niece--but I'm slightly turned off by getting a list of housewares from Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn, etc. She included notes indicating that any gift would be appreciated, and it doesn't have to be the exact item, etc., this was just if we needed ideas...but still. I'm a GenXer who had to scrape together my own housewares (for my first apartment) on my own post-graduation budget, mainly from thrift stores--no $ given to me by aunts/uncles, etc. I recall that as a time when I too had aspirations of living stylishly, but not the budget.

My family is ok financially, but we have some unexpected huge expenses coming up in the next few months, and I don't feel it's my role to set up Niece in her first apartment. Suggestions for what to do here that would fit my frugal mentality but not seem cheap? I could go very low-key and send a very nice card, but the issue is that there are other relatives who will likely splurge on Niece, particularly another sibling, single/no kids.