I married him. Then I divorced him and that was the most expensive thing I've ever had to pay for (more than college).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married and have a crush on my married coworker. We only interact at work and only discuss work related topics, we don’t communicate outside of work.

I can’t stop thinking about my coworker. I am trying to lessen our work interactions and we don’t see each other often, but it is not helping. I would never acknowledge this crush to anyone and I just want it to end.

Well, crushes are infatuation caused by proximity and immaturity. Since you can't distance them, work on yourself.

Oh burn. Love how DCUM finds a way to insult the OP and not actually help them at the same time.

Anonymous wrote:I am married and have a crush on my married coworker. We only interact at work and only discuss work related topics, we don’t communicate outside of work.

I can’t stop thinking about my coworker. I am trying to lessen our work interactions and we don’t see each other often, but it is not helping. I would never acknowledge this crush to anyone and I just want it to end.

Well, crushes are infatuation caused by proximity and immaturity. Since you can't distance them, work on yourself.

If you really want to get over it, you have to shift your attention every time you start thinking about him in a crush-y kind of way. Kind of like meditation where you keep returning your focus when you see you have been distracted.

That said, it’s hard because I suspect your mind kind of enjoys the thoughts.

You don't act on it. Time passes. You take pride in being a person who does the right thing.

Early 40s, we are both around the same age.

You need to learn to enjoy your crushes, OP. Just let them play out, and don't say or do anything that crosses a line. Enjoy the time you spend with the crush, that's all!

This has worked well for me over the years.
I feel it's how most people deal with crushes.

Does it help to reframe your crush?

Specific examples include a new, cute male neighbor - (I’m DW). I loved chatting with him and thought he was so funny and witty and handsome. Then one of my DC mentioned how much this neighbor looked and acted like Uncle Larlo - my brother! Suddenly I saw it and any attraction vanished.

A coworker: we shared sarcastic, gossipy observations and same biting humor. Handsome. Another colleague referred to him as my work husband and that felt terribly wrong. This man is young enough to be my DS (I could be his mother!). Still adore this co-worker, but I care about him truly as a friend.

Anonymous wrote:I am married and have a crush on my married coworker. We only interact at work and only discuss work related topics, we don’t communicate outside of work.

I can’t stop thinking about my coworker. I am trying to lessen our work interactions and we don’t see each other often, but it is not helping. I would never acknowledge this crush to anyone and I just want it to end.

Tough situation. How old are you?

This is my first time posting about a crush.

I have had crushes before, but none as intense as this one.

I think it’s fairly common. I think as long as you don’t cross the line, the crush usually just ends up fading away or you get distracted by other things (maybe a new crush).

This always pops up every now and then and I wonder if this is a person that has habitual crushes or it’s a bunch of people with crushes or its the first time it’s happened? This is life and you will have crushes. Enjoy it while it lasts.

OP you are doing everything you can. You just need to give it time.

I don't know, I have all types of crushes.

I am married and have a crush on my married coworker. We only interact at work and only discuss work related topics, we don’t communicate outside of work.

I can’t stop thinking about my coworker. I am trying to lessen our work interactions and we don’t see each other often, but it is not helping. I would never acknowledge this crush to anyone and I just want it to end.