Anonymous wrote:RIE is a scam. Don’t read that sh*t.

Why do you say this?

Anonymous wrote:I have four kids, which qualifies me to tell you that it has nothing to do with your parenting.

I have three kids and this is totally accurate. The most annoying thing about first time parents with easy babies is that they think it's them. And it's really not about you.

RIE is a scam. Don’t read that sh*t.

Anonymous wrote:I have four kids, which qualifies me to tell you that it has nothing to do with your parenting.

+1000

We have a set of fraternal twins in our family, raised by the same parents the same way at the same time. They are very different.

I didn't do much specific but I did, from an early stage, make sure that my child had "crutches" for coping that did not require Mom. Pacifier instead of nipple, bottle instead of breast. Etc. (I also breastfed btw, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.) From an early stage she was therefore okay with other people caring for her or holding her, being put down for naps in a crib, etc.

If the baby is crying about other people holding them the thing to do is wait three months.

Independent baby? What is this of which you speak?

I will add to the chorus and say there is nothing you can do op. Those kinds of things are almost completely based on temperament. It just is who the kid is. We have way less control in parenting than we would like to think. Kids personalities are fairly set, I like the garden analogy - our job is to water and tend to the flower we get to make sure it grows as well as possible but no parenting is going to make your tulip into a daisy.

Agree with others that this is almost completely dependent on temperament. My first was like this and it drove me insane to listen to my MIL tell me all about how it was because he was so secure in his attachment to us. Implying that babies who are fussier/needier are because of poor parenting.

Babies are not supposed to be independent.

Eh, that's a naturally super cute age Op. And arguably a sweet spot from a parents' view-the baby happy, responsive, still immobile, and are in the age of discovery. The kitchen spatula will happily entertain them for hours.

There is pretty much nothing you can do to make this happen. I have three kids, my first was super happy and independent, second not at all like that, and third somewhere in between. It’s all luck.

You get what you get.

I will say that I have 2 kids who were relatively independent (no separation anxiety, could play alone, etc) before age 2. I radically met their needs (to the eyebrow raising of some of my friends) including co-sleeping and extending breastfeeding with the one that needed those things. No clue if it made a difference but both became relatively well-adjusted toddlers who could self-entertain and separate from me.

I have four kids, which qualifies me to tell you that it has nothing to do with your parenting.

For those of you who have an older baby 6+ months who can play independently, be out down with toys and walk away, will go to others happily, take transitions well. Did you do anything specific? RIE? Montessori baby?

I know a lot is temperament and depends on the child. We have friends who have the happiest kid. From 6 months on he would go to anyone, hang out, you could put him down on his belly and he'll just entertain himself, we've never heard him cry, he wakes up in the morning and just plays with himself and sings to himself until they go get him, we could be over watching a movie and he will glance at the screen for a second but kept playing with his toys. It's amazing. They are so happy and baby is happy. We've asked and they say they did absolutely nothing and he is just perfection and a unicorn. We believe it but also curious if others did anything intentional and ended up with the same result. We are very aware that each kid is different