Anonymous wrote:my 20-something colleague has *her grandmother* (baby's great-grandmother) for full-time childcare. Immigrant Latino family.

We had neighbors that did this! It was nuts! And great grandma was sharp and with it and seemed happy to help. I think grandma was still working.

my 20-something colleague has *her grandmother* (baby's great-grandmother) for full-time childcare. Immigrant Latino family.

My parents helped out with school pickup and aftercare for 1-2 hours until I got home. Incredibly helpful. Not immigrant.

I live a few blocks from my parents and both of my siblings, and we all help each other out. My parents were 60 when my now 15 year old was born and my siblings (both younger) were childless, dating, etc and everyone helped out with my kids. Now, my older kids do a lot of the helping with my nieces and nephew because my parents are in the mid-70s and can’t help as much (dad retired and they live in Florida half the year and travel a ton).

It’s great for all of us - my parents get to see the kids a lot, but the older grandkids help them watch the younger ones and all of us exhausted parents get a break’

I grew up like this. It was amazing to have that additional love and support. We were so bonded with grandma. Miss her!

Anonymous wrote:My DD's friend has her immigrant grandmother living with them, taking the kids to school, picking the kids up, taking the kids to the playground, etc....OMG I'm so jealous, she probably cooks too.

I'm jealous too. My mom was only 50 when my oldest was born, still working full-time and worked until she passed away from cancer. Even if she had been retired I HIGHLY doubt she would have done the above. My MIL is healthy and retired but is very preoccupied with her own social life and is not that interested in us.

I may be thinking of buying a house with an in-law suite for my mom to live in if she wants to for just this reason. I assume it’ll balance out — she’ll let me avoid aftercare, and then I’ll and/or my then teens will be her least intensive home health aids when she starts needing more support.

Anonymous wrote:Have you never met an Asian family?

No but do they have to deal with all the cultural idiosyncrasies as well like farting loud chewing

Anonymous wrote:Have you never met an Asian family?

Trust me it's not all Asian families, mine for instance are doing their thing traveling the world, socializing with their friends, taking art classes, etc...

My husband did that. Downside is he loves his parents in a friendly but kind of distant way but he adored his grandma. He was much, much closer to her than to his parents. His mom has mentioned feeling sad about that. I’m not familiar with enough adults who grew up with that arrangement to know how typical it is.

My parents live in their own home but they help us a lot with childcare and cooking. It is a win-win-win situation for us, them, and the kids. But I know others would not like it. I fully intend to pay it forward for my own children.

Have you never met an Asian family?

Anonymous wrote:My DD's friend has her immigrant grandmother living with them, taking the kids to school, picking the kids up, taking the kids to the playground, etc....OMG I'm so jealous, she probably cooks too.

Damn it’s called filial piety fool learn it love it and embrace it

Yes, normal in immigrant circles. Grandma is young enough to do that. DCUM types prefer to wait until they’re 40 to have kids, and at that point their parents are 75+. To each his own.

My DD's friend has her immigrant grandmother living with them, taking the kids to school, picking the kids up, taking the kids to the playground, etc....OMG I'm so jealous, she probably cooks too.