My 14 year old doesn’t shave and gets very, very uncomfortable when the topic comes up, so I’ve dropped it. It honestly drives me crazy, but I will only say that here, not to her face. The older I get, the more I wish this expectation didn’t exist for women—it really is a huge pain in the ass to constantly be staying on top of body hair, especially in the summer. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping she’ll change her mind someday—a lifetime of conditioning to think smooth legs are more aesthetically pleasing on women doesn’t die easily.

It sounds like it isn't any depression/hygiene reason. So that's good.

I am a millennial mystified by the new body hair trends with Ella Emhoff and others not shaving body hair visible in a swimsuit too. I could do that.

However, I recognize that women shaving body hair is a social construct. It's not directly necessary for hygiene either. (Though, many people feel cleaner with hair removal for various reasons etc)

I don’t understand it but it’s their bodies. My daughter and a few of her friends rarely shave. My daughter is pretty hairy and when I ask if she needs new razors she tells me it’s just hair and who cares about it. Sometimes she will shave her legs completely but it’s rare now.

Anonymous wrote:She's jumped on the questioning gender bandwagon. The more you question or push back, the more likely she will dig in more. She'll come around.

Uh, no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a personal question and you kept pressing. Stop being critical.

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

Concerned about what, leg hair? Calm down. This isn’t a tattoo or piercing.

Seriously wtf. It’s her hair and it’s not hurting anyone. It’s hard enough for teens to navigate all of this without having to give impromptu oral defenses of concepts they’re still working out. Leave her alone.

Anonymous wrote:It’s a personal question and you kept pressing. Stop being critical.

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

15-year-olds don't respond well to parents judging them about their bodies and probably reads it as body-shaming. She probably thinks that you will embarrassed to be seen with her on the beach and who needs that from their mom?

Anonymous wrote:She's jumped on the questioning gender bandwagon. The more you question or push back, the more likely she will dig in more. She'll come around.

Bizarre response. Women have been pushing back against the sexist demand that we shave for decades (and maybe more). Ever heard of hippies?

She's jumped on the questioning gender bandwagon. The more you question or push back, the more likely she will dig in more. She'll come around.

Anonymous wrote:Is this a trend? Asked DD if she need new razors to shave right before spring break trip - she would be wearing a bathing suit. Said no. She obviously had not shaved legs or her armpits either. I did ask her why and was it for philosophical reasons. She got uncomfortable and would not give a straight answer. She’s 15.
I don’t care much though honestly, don’t like the look. Just strange how uncomfortable she got with the discussion. It is unusual for her.

You don't care and yet you are harassing her about her body. Admit you care to yourself and then drop the rope.

Is she typically uncomfortable with body talk (bras, periods, etc)? I wouldn't have wanted to talk about that with my mom, and that includes discussions about shaving, especially if our philosophies differed.

Meanwhile, she's 15 and trying out different philosophies. This one is harmless and reversible and no matter what she ultimately decides, it's up to her.

How would she *not* get uncomfortable when she is being pressured to do something she is philosophically opposed to just because you don't like how she looks?

It’s a personal question and you kept pressing. Stop being critical.

Is this a trend? Asked DD if she need new razors to shave right before spring break trip - she would be wearing a bathing suit. Said no. She obviously had not shaved legs or her armpits either. I did ask her why and was it for philosophical reasons. She got uncomfortable and would not give a straight answer. She’s 15.
I don’t care much though honestly, don’t like the look. Just strange how uncomfortable she got with the discussion. It is unusual for her.