If she turned 21 in a country where drinking is legal at 18, there isn’t a reason to make 21 a big deal.

I turned 21 abroad and had absolutely no interest in a belated birthday party when I got home. In the limited time I was home before moving for my new job, I wanted to hang out with friends I hadn't seen while I was away. I didn't need to celebrate something that had already happened, not even with dinner. Sounds like OP's daughter is a bit similar. OP, I'd honestly ask your daughter and not feel hurt if she gives you that answer.

Host her friends at 2 Silos for a few hours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um no, dont do a party. Let her friends take her out.

To you & the PP’s: stop assuming that OP’s DD (or anyone) has friends, and friends who would “take them out” at that, and stop assuming that OP’s child has any interest in drinking.

Settle down, Gladys! OP said her DD has friends. And I didn't say anything about drinking. They can go out to a strip club if they want, or a comedy show or a tour of historic gardens for all I care. But generally a 21 yr old with friends wants to spend her birthday with said friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um no, dont do a party. Let her friends take her out.

To you & the PP’s: stop assuming that OP’s DD (or anyone) has friends, and friends who would “take them out” at that, and stop assuming that OP’s child has any interest in drinking.

OP said she wanted to see her friends and nowhere did I say she had to drink. I said "let her friends take her out" that could be OUT or that could be to dinner or whatever they want to do.

No party. I turned 21 in a year abroad and celebrated with friends then. No need for a belated birthday party at home. She plans to see her friends anyway, just let her do her own thing and not try to control one long weekend.

Consult her first in this case.

If she was asking you & the family to do something with her for her bday, I would suggest that, but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

A nice restaurant dinner and then she goes out with her friends. If there's something she would like to do (movie, concert, Escape the Room, whatever), you can treat.

To you & the PP’s: stop assuming that OP’s DD (or anyone) has friends, and friends who would “take them out” at that, and stop assuming that OP’s child has any interest in drinking.

OP said that her DD is anxious about having sufficient time to see her friends before she moves - this suggests that she has friends that she will want to see when she's home. She may or may not want to see them all at once at a belated birthday event.

Assuming that she has friends in her study abroad program, she will have the opportunity to celebrate her birthday with friends and may not feel the need to do that again at a later date. I would ask her to save time for a nice family dinner and not monopolize her minimal time unless she wants you to plan a celebration.

I went out to eat with my mom & dad for my 21st birthday.

Anonymous wrote:Um no, dont do a party. Let her friends take her out.

To you & the PP’s: stop assuming that OP’s DD (or anyone) has friends, and friends who would “take them out” at that, and stop assuming that OP’s child has any interest in drinking.

Um no, dont do a party. Let her friends take her out.

Wow.

My guess, she wants to be with her friends (without you ... not with you hosting) Imho, she probably thinks she has said this by saying, "anxious about needing to spend time with friends before leaving." Offer to pay for the Uber/pick them up when they need a designated driver. She only turns 21 once (drinking age). It's probably.a big night --- with friends.

My DD is turning 21 while studying abroad. She will be back home for one long weekend before leaving for a summer internship across the country. DD is very anxious about needing to spend time with friends before leaving. I was thinking of throwing her a belated 21st birthday party during that long weekend home. Unfortunately, the part of our house where she has hosted parties in the past needs renovation. I'm not sure if it will be done by June. In addition, our backyard is fairly ugly, but perhaps we can fix that up a bit by June. If we can't have the party at home, are there any DC area venues (Maryland side preferable) that are suitable for a 21st birthday party? I've thought about Pinstripes and Dave & Busters. I'm not sure if the latter is too juvenile. Of course, I'll consult DD, but do you have any ideas, DCurbanmoms?

Is it just safer to have the party at home so that the young people can stay overnight if they have been drinking?