Anonymous
04/06/2023 12:44
Subject: Re:Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Anonymous wrote:š¬
This thread is so embarrassing.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 12:41
Subject: Re:Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Anonymous wrote:The public school your child would attend if they werenāt in private is probably the same in terms of demographics if you have a 7 figure HHI.
That's very unlikely. Even if you are at one of the "fancier" public schools, the number of people with that level of wealth will be more limited and you will have more people with modest incomes.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 12:40
Subject: Re:Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Anonymous wrote:Yes I care. We found caviar that is kosher for passover and were eating that before the seder last night. DH pointed to the two jars and told the kids that a family can feed their family for a week on what those cost.
Also, we live in the city, and my kids have friends they know from random playgrounds, or dance or gymnastics or whatever, and those are not kids within their private school. They have playdates at people's 2 bedroom apartments, and at people's huge victorian mansions. They talk about going to Hawaii and hear adults say things like "I've never been there" or "Wow, I didn't go there for the first time until I was 34!"
And like yours, ours have chores and are given things to do. They help and are kind.
So clueless.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 12:34
Subject: Re:Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
š¬
Anonymous
04/06/2023 12:17
Subject: Re:Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Yes I care. We found caviar that is kosher for passover and were eating that before the seder last night. DH pointed to the two jars and told the kids that a family can feed their family for a week on what those cost.
Also, we live in the city, and my kids have friends they know from random playgrounds, or dance or gymnastics or whatever, and those are not kids within their private school. They have playdates at people's 2 bedroom apartments, and at people's huge victorian mansions. They talk about going to Hawaii and hear adults say things like "I've never been there" or "Wow, I didn't go there for the first time until I was 34!"
And like yours, ours have chores and are given things to do. They help and are kind.
Also, we live in the city, and my kids have friends they know from random playgrounds, or dance or gymnastics or whatever, and those are not kids within their private school. They have playdates at people's 2 bedroom apartments, and at people's huge victorian mansions. They talk about going to Hawaii and hear adults say things like "I've never been there" or "Wow, I didn't go there for the first time until I was 34!"
And like yours, ours have chores and are given things to do. They help and are kind.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 12:07
Subject: Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Yes I care about this deeply and it is hard especially when we give them experiences we never had as a kid. Agree with the others - it is about exposure and instilling a desire to give back (this is hard) but it is a must. volunteer with them, help them brainstorm ideas to help others, etc.
One thing we have done since they were little is through a local non profit we adopt several families at christmas time. We receive their wish lists and then shop and wrap the presents. They also need people to deliver presents to the families on a specified day. My kids have been doing the shopping, wrapping and delivery since early elementary (even when they still believed in Santa). Many times the adults would open the door to receive the gifts on delivery day and we would see the joy in their faces when they knew they had presents to put under the tree. My kids still talk about seeing the joy and how it made them feel knowing they were making a difference for others.
One thing we have done since they were little is through a local non profit we adopt several families at christmas time. We receive their wish lists and then shop and wrap the presents. They also need people to deliver presents to the families on a specified day. My kids have been doing the shopping, wrapping and delivery since early elementary (even when they still believed in Santa). Many times the adults would open the door to receive the gifts on delivery day and we would see the joy in their faces when they knew they had presents to put under the tree. My kids still talk about seeing the joy and how it made them feel knowing they were making a difference for others.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 12:05
Subject: Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Anonymous wrote:No, because we travel enough to places where people are truly poor and disadvantaged, not DC disadvantaged.
Us too, we travel to Philadelphia & Baltimore.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 12:04
Subject: Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Anonymous wrote:No, because we travel enough to places where people are truly poor and disadvantaged, not DC disadvantaged.
Poverty tourism doesn't seem like a great way to give anyone perspective, but some people are more comfortable using poor kids as props for their own edification than others
Anonymous
04/06/2023 11:59
Subject: Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
No, because we travel enough to places where people are truly poor and disadvantaged, not DC disadvantaged.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 11:53
Subject: Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
I appreciate you thinking about thisā¦but itās going to be very difficult for you to do this in a meaningful way given your life set up. The true growth and understanding you are seeking is dependent on lived experiences (visiting your origins is an excellent introduction) and ongoing exposure (harder). I grew up middle class/bordering lower middle class, went to public schools, etc. In the scheme of life I was privileged but did not start to understand it until I spent three month working in a very low income Central American country one summer in college. Just keep having the conversation, seize opportunities, and 100% agree on requiring working as teens (my rising 9th grader lined up a summer job and understands this is the expectation moving forward).
Anonymous
04/06/2023 11:31
Subject: Re:Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Donāt say yes every time they ask for something.
Consider making them get a 30-40 hour/week summer job the summers going into 11th, 12th & freshman year of college. And I mean a physical or customer service job, not an āinternship.ā And yes, they might encounter ābad influencesā there. By that age, they need to learn how to handle that sort of thing.
Consider making them get a 30-40 hour/week summer job the summers going into 11th, 12th & freshman year of college. And I mean a physical or customer service job, not an āinternship.ā And yes, they might encounter ābad influencesā there. By that age, they need to learn how to handle that sort of thing.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 11:29
Subject: Re:Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
I think the community that you live in is more important than the school they attend for this.
But what you can do is welcome all classmates equally and not ignore the ones that come from further away or less money. Your children will judge what is important and who is worthy from watching you. Don't make comments about old cars or small houses etc, don't disparage others who make less or have less for any reason.
At times play on lower cost rec teams, attend lower cost camps, or do free/low cost type activities as part of what you do and don't put them down as being "less." Make playdate with kids/families meet through these things.
That's my advice, provide lots of exposure and little judgement. Show them the value in all people and in the spaces that they inhabit.
But what you can do is welcome all classmates equally and not ignore the ones that come from further away or less money. Your children will judge what is important and who is worthy from watching you. Don't make comments about old cars or small houses etc, don't disparage others who make less or have less for any reason.
At times play on lower cost rec teams, attend lower cost camps, or do free/low cost type activities as part of what you do and don't put them down as being "less." Make playdate with kids/families meet through these things.
That's my advice, provide lots of exposure and little judgement. Show them the value in all people and in the spaces that they inhabit.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 11:28
Subject: Re:Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
The public school your child would attend if they werenāt in private is probably the same in terms of demographics if you have a 7 figure HHI.
Anonymous
04/06/2023 11:23
Subject: Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
Anonymous wrote:If you do, what do you do to help them gain some perspective?
No snarky responses, please, this is a real concern and itās hard to have these conversations in person.
We love the bubble our k-8 provides our kids ā caring, small community, focus on kindness, etc. We plan to keep them in private school all the way ā Iām not debating the value of private school for our kids.
We are also a relatively well-off family ā seven figure HHI. We live a nice lifestyle, and Iām happy with how we spend our money.
However, I donāt know if itās possible for my kids to gain perspective on how fortunate we/they are, and that most of the world (even within in US) doesnāt live like we do. We talk about it, I talk about my own, very modest childhood. My kids do chores and they get told no when they want to buy things. They have visited where my family comes from (parents are immigrants, Iām a POC) and have seen the poverty that exists there.
But their daily life and exposure is large homes, lots of toys, expensive experiences, and just generally abundant. Also beautiful school grounds and lots of resources to support their goals.
I went to HYP from a low-income public school and was really turned off by the spoiled, entitled private school kids who mostly found each other. I donāt want my kids to end up that way.
For starters quit referring to yourself as "relatively well-off" with a 7 figure income. If you can't even admit you are rich, how are your kids going to understand that?
Anonymous
04/06/2023 11:20
Subject: Do you care if your DC has perspective about their privilege?
If you do, what do you do to help them gain some perspective?
No snarky responses, please, this is a real concern and itās hard to have these conversations in person.
We love the bubble our k-8 provides our kids ā caring, small community, focus on kindness, etc. We plan to keep them in private school all the way ā Iām not debating the value of private school for our kids.
We are also a relatively well-off family ā seven figure HHI. We live a nice lifestyle, and Iām happy with how we spend our money.
However, I donāt know if itās possible for my kids to gain perspective on how fortunate we/they are, and that most of the world (even within in US) doesnāt live like we do. We talk about it, I talk about my own, very modest childhood. My kids do chores and they get told no when they want to buy things. They have visited where my family comes from (parents are immigrants, Iām a POC) and have seen the poverty that exists there.
But their daily life and exposure is large homes, lots of toys, expensive experiences, and just generally abundant. Also beautiful school grounds and lots of resources to support their goals.
I went to HYP from a low-income public school and was really turned off by the spoiled, entitled private school kids who mostly found each other. I donāt want my kids to end up that way.
No snarky responses, please, this is a real concern and itās hard to have these conversations in person.
We love the bubble our k-8 provides our kids ā caring, small community, focus on kindness, etc. We plan to keep them in private school all the way ā Iām not debating the value of private school for our kids.
We are also a relatively well-off family ā seven figure HHI. We live a nice lifestyle, and Iām happy with how we spend our money.
However, I donāt know if itās possible for my kids to gain perspective on how fortunate we/they are, and that most of the world (even within in US) doesnāt live like we do. We talk about it, I talk about my own, very modest childhood. My kids do chores and they get told no when they want to buy things. They have visited where my family comes from (parents are immigrants, Iām a POC) and have seen the poverty that exists there.
But their daily life and exposure is large homes, lots of toys, expensive experiences, and just generally abundant. Also beautiful school grounds and lots of resources to support their goals.
I went to HYP from a low-income public school and was really turned off by the spoiled, entitled private school kids who mostly found each other. I donāt want my kids to end up that way.