Anonymous wrote:We do this when we visit my parents too. If they visit us on school days, we stick to our schedule and my mom will go on about how terrible it is for us to eat so late. We have to go around practice schedules though so we can't alter eating for them. They'll just eat lunch here and sometimes I'll make my dad a little extra plate even if he says he doesn't eat that late because I can tell he gets peckish if we're all eating something good.

+1

Laughing because we could serve a crumb, and MIL finds it mandatory to go on about how it is "enough to feed an army!!" while she sits and watches people. Then she will make a big deal out of what she will do/make with the leftovers and/or getting a mandatory to go box, no matter how much or little is left. Apparently, leftovers are a mortal sin, even if they get consumed. People marrying into the family have started to silently but very effectively boycott MILs cooking and especially, MIL serving leftovers. MILs whole performance starts as soon as we sit down at the table (sometimes during meal prep), and continues until the dishes are washed and dried. We call it the (MIL name) mealtime drama charade in 3,2,1.......

I get it, we grew up poor. We literally grew our own food. But there was always more than enough food, and there was no ill feelings or shame about eating, being fed, or "taking up space", thankfully. It does explain why MIL is so angry. Eating/food can be a topic where some people glaringly show their personality disorders, more than usual.

OP, I love the 3 PM meal idea - it sounds unrushed and peaceful.

I thought this was about tween and teens who eat first dinner at 3 pm and then second dinner after sports/activities.

How often do you get together with them? If only occasionally I wouldn’t fight it. If a lot, just join when it works for your family. For example, tell them you can’t join for the main meal, but that you will join them afterwards at 5 for dessert or to just drop by and visit for the evening. If this has been their schedule for a long time, then it’s not nice of you to change what *they* do - just join or don’t as you and your DH want and as it works for your schedule.

We do this when we visit my parents too. If they visit us on school days, we stick to our schedule and my mom will go on about how terrible it is for us to eat so late. We have to go around practice schedules though so we can't alter eating for them. They'll just eat lunch here and sometimes I'll make my dad a little extra plate even if he says he doesn't eat that late because I can tell he gets peckish if we're all eating something good.

It's normal on my dad's side and freakish on my mom's. Personally I prefer early dinner because then you aren't stuck doing dishes late in the evening.

Another early dinner eater here. I don't really eat breakfast, so I have a brunches meal around 11 and dinner around 5. I hate waiting to eat dinner because I don't want to feel full when I go to sleep.

Anonymous wrote:I have a whole different perspective here. As someone with major GI issues in the family I read extensively on the latest studies and attend seminars, etc. Much better to heat your biggest meal for lunch or even at 3pm than for dinner. Your digestion slows down with sundown. So if you must chow down at 3,it's not tragic. You could make that your dinner and just have a light easy to digest snack later on.

It would actually be great for me. I am most ravenous at breakfast and around 3pm. So I tend to eat a big breakfast, decent size lunch, huge healthy dinner size snack at 3 or 3:30pm (if working from home) and then a light snack at dinner time.

+1

Sounds great! Embrace it, OP!

I have a whole different perspective here. As someone with major GI issues in the family I read extensively on the latest studies and attend seminars, etc. Much better to heat your biggest meal for lunch or even at 3pm than for dinner. Your digestion slows down with sundown. So if you must chow down at 3,it's not tragic. You could make that your dinner and just have a light easy to digest snack later on.

It would actually be great for me. I am most ravenous at breakfast and around 3pm. So I tend to eat a big breakfast, decent size lunch, huge healthy dinner size snack at 3 or 3:30pm (if working from home) and then a light snack at dinner time.

Are the Eastern European? We usually have light breakfast anytime between 9-11 and then dinner 3pm, there is no lunch and then around 7-8 pm light snack.
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I have cont eating this way because it helps me maintain my weight . If I have lunch at 12(im not even hungry and eat calories I dont need), but if I skip lunch and have dinner at 6pm i am so starving I binge eat.

Anonymous wrote:No that’s not normal. Are they 90? Even that’s early for an early bird dinner. My parents are 80 and they like to eat at 5 which I still think is super early.

Parent’s assisted living meals are scheduled at 8:00am, 12:00pm and dinner at 5:00pm. Most residents in 80s and 90s.

Just tell them a time that would work well for you, and if you don't like being flexible, decline the invitation. I understand when this interferes with nap time for people with small kids, but I always try to make stuff like this work even if it's a little annoying because it's like, three meals a year. Not a big deal.

It’s not normal unless it’s a special holiday like Thanksgiving or Easter.

How often do you get together with them for these 3pm meals?

No that’s not normal. Are they 90? Even that’s early for an early bird dinner. My parents are 80 and they like to eat at 5 which I still think is super early.

It's because they want to have time to linger over dessert and visit with you.
Especially if you have young kids that have an early bed time, they want more time with you before you have to leave to get the kids to bed.

Whenever we get together with dh family, they insist on eating at 3pm - a multi course meal. Idk if it’s lunch or dinner - but it totally tears up our day and - as full time working parents - we value our days off. Is this normal? My family just does actual lunch or dinner so that ppl can do other things