Anonymous wrote:It’s very idiosyncratic and what is absolute best for your child might not be best for mine (something no one ever takes into account when justifying their choices on these threads!) so our list was:

Daycare:
Supported continuing nursing vs pumping (center was in my building so I nursed 2x day and only needed to pump one bottle)
Had a 1.5:1 child teacher ratio due to COVID restrictions
Allowed our COVID baby to see more faces and get out of the house/increased her overall stimulation
Required/facilitated vaccinations for all teachers at a time when there were a lot of people finding out their Nanny’s were either falsifying vaccination records (later) or unable to get vaccinated because they weren’t in a priority group (earlier)

For a baby like yours who is getting lots of stimulation and socialization from their siblings a nanny might make more sense, but again they’re both good options.

If you go to the other posts there's a mom asking for help because his son is very shy. Not shy with siblings but with others kids.
That poor child does not know how to interact abd play with other children. That kid needs more challenging situations to help him grow his cognitive area and importantly social skills.
This world is hard and we live in an interconnected world

Our local Family Daycare in Silver Spring is great! The staff are sweet, fun and responsible. They gives us full reports. We were looking for a small Family childcare home and not a center. Some people likes center but I don't like seeing a lot of kids like 10 toddlers 1 teacher.

Anyways, our Family Child care Provider was super kind, gentle, they had a nice area where I could breastfeed my baby if I needed to. They guided me, help us grow as parents and we were growing with our child, our precious son is a good, empathetic and smart kid and he's doing great in 1st grade!

When you are a parent and whatever childcare you choose, if it makes you feel good then it's a good place. Every facility Family Daycare, Center has inspections and they are required to take Early child development classes every year. Well that's in every licensed Family Daycare and Center in Maryland.

OP choose whatever makes you feel good. Soon you have to let go your child for 1st grade. That's when you need to help your kid to be strong, lots of bullies, school shootings. We have to teach our kids to be kind, that's more important first than academics, imo.

Anonymous wrote:The blog post that is the subject of this thread might interest you: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1120761.page (but beware the author makes the science seem a little more clear than it is, you should look at the individual studies cited in the post)

We have had our child in daycare since she was 5 months old. The biggest pro of daycare (assuming it is licensed) is that the state oversees daycares for basic safety and qualifications of the staff (not that they have amazing qualifications, just basic training and background checks). With a nanny you have to oversee all of that yourself. And the nanny will be in your home, so if you WFH that can be distracting. Also, there is a benefit to being around other children - our child was speech delayed when she was 1.5 yo, that also happed to be while she was at home due to the pandemic. When she started back up at daycare her speech exploded and her speech therapist told us that being around other kids can help with expressive language. Of course, it's possible she might have caught up anyway, but the therapist had obviously seen this happen before. Obviously, a nanny can also take a child to be with other kids.

The cons of daycare are it's a less relaxing environment for the child and they get less individual attention. Also, you have to pack up your child every day to take them to and from daycare. That process can easily add 20-30 minutes to your commute depending on how efficient the drop off process is.

We couldn't have afforded a nanny and it definitely wouldn't have worked for us with our WFH situation, but I definitely see the benefits.

A family daycare worked great for me. Kids are happy. Just because it didn't work for you it will be bad for others😂🤣

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree it's a personal decision. I would go bananas if I had to work from home in our small home with our baby and a nanny. I have always hated mixing work and family. It's just who I am. I also know friends who used a nanny during the pandemic who went back to using daycare after they were vaxxed because it was just too hectic with all of them at the house at the same time. So that's a real consideration.

+100. This is how I felt. And my nanny was good and super sweet.

I don't like to be a manager in my own house.

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree it's a personal decision. I would go bananas if I had to work from home in our small home with our baby and a nanny. I have always hated mixing work and family. It's just who I am. I also know friends who used a nanny during the pandemic who went back to using daycare after they were vaxxed because it was just too hectic with all of them at the house at the same time. So that's a real consideration.

Fair point, I’m a PP who has a nanny, and it works because my office is in the basement and very separated from where kids/nanny are during the day.

I totally agree it's a personal decision. I would go bananas if I had to work from home in our small home with our baby and a nanny. I have always hated mixing work and family. It's just who I am. I also know friends who used a nanny during the pandemic who went back to using daycare after they were vaxxed because it was just too hectic with all of them at the house at the same time. So that's a real consideration.

It’s very idiosyncratic and what is absolute best for your child might not be best for mine (something no one ever takes into account when justifying their choices on these threads!) so our list was:

Daycare:
Supported continuing nursing vs pumping (center was in my building so I nursed 2x day and only needed to pump one bottle)
Had a 1.5:1 child teacher ratio due to COVID restrictions
Allowed our COVID baby to see more faces and get out of the house/increased her overall stimulation
Required/facilitated vaccinations for all teachers at a time when there were a lot of people finding out their Nanny’s were either falsifying vaccination records (later) or unable to get vaccinated because they weren’t in a priority group (earlier)

For a baby like yours who is getting lots of stimulation and socialization from their siblings a nanny might make more sense, but again they’re both good options.

It's a very personal decision, and both are good options.

For us, a nanny share was the perfect compromise. Only slightly expensive than daycare. Companionship for the babies as they got older and more interactive. And, most importantly for me at least, good sleep hygiene. My kids got to take nearly all their naps in a quiet, dark room, alone, with blackout curtains and a noise machine. I feel like so many babies and toddlers are overtired these days. My kids were taking two 2-hour naps a day until they were 14-18 months old, and then a solid 2-3 hour nap as they moved into toddlerhood. And that's just so, so valuable for me. (I do recommend arranging your share so that each baby has a dedicated nap space).

The second big reason for me was illness. The first winter in daycare, it's illness after illness after illness. That seems like so much for an infant. I'm much more comfortable kicking that can down the road and having an illness-prone winter in PK3.

We also had a lot more control (working closely with the nanny, of course) of our kid's schedules, so they were eating on a very regular schedule. Introducing solids was a breeze. Weekends seemed a lot more like weekdays. If naps needed to be pushed back, they could be pushed back. If baby needed to be woken at a certain time so that she'd go to bed at bedtime, that was no problem. For babies and young toddlers, I like that.

We also have a parent WFH, but found that to be a plus. I'm in an out of the way place (my bedroom), the babies have been essentially taught since babyhood that they don't see me from 9-5, but I've got an ear out for how the nanny and babies interact. Feels like an added layer of safety. For that reason, and the convenience of not doing drop off/pickup, I prefer to host. The house feels like a daycare sometimes, but I'm fine with that.

I also realized recently in talking to another mom (with kids in daycare) that we've also trained our kids (now older) that it's normal for a parent to be home, in their room, and inaccessible to the kids. So it's very easy to take some "time off" on the weekends, at home, when the other parent is in charge and the kids are very accepting of that. "Mom is having some me time" just isn't all the different for a kid than "Mom is working" (and same with dad).

Overall, strongly recommend.

We hired a nanny and have never regretted it. Our nanny took the baby (and then toddler and baby) out every day rain or shine. Various playgrounds, various museums, aquariums, story hours, etc. The kids interacted with others every day. We had the nanny arrive 15 minutes before we had to leave for work and pay for them to stay a half hour past when the first of us gets home (so they can shower, walk the dog, etc.).

We have three or four backup people in case the nanny gets sick or when they are on vacation. I wouldn't change a thing. We had each kid do a half year of preschool before kindergarten, and it was fine. Both are now thriving in upper elementary. A nanny can do kid laundry, cull toys and clothes and books grown out of, feed exactly the food you want your kids to eat, ensure they get good naps, etc. All of those things either don't happen in daycare or aren't on the schedule you want.

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your child? What hours do you need care (sometimes you are forced to use nanny care if you need non traditional hours)? Do you need help with any other kids?

My baby will be five months when we will need childcare. DH and I will be staggering schedules so we would only need care from 8-3. No help needed with the other children - or, if we did, it would be occasional and obviously this would be discussed during the interview process. We both WFH - DH exclusively, and I hybrid (by choice - I could WFH exclusively as well), and we both have a lot of flexibility in our jobs. Our house is pretty small, which gives me pause.

Our daycare option is quite nice and is in our neighborhood (2 minute drive and 10 minute walk). It’s operated by Bright Horizons and I got a positive impression when we toured.

We have a nanny. I’m happy with our choice for the following reasons:

- logistically easier for us. We don’t have to deal with drop off/pick up, packing lunches or bags, etc. Nanny shows up at 8:30 and gets off at 5:30. We both WFH some of the time, and the combination of no commute + no drop off/pickup means that I really maximize the hours that my kids are with their nanny.
- Kids get to sleep in their own space. I know some kids sleep fine at daycare, but I like knowing that mine are getting good sleep during the day.
- They get sick less often. Yes, my toddler still had a cold or some other illness every other week or so this winter. But we dodged the really nasty stuff, like HFM. Depending on how sick they are, our nanny still comes to work. For example, if one had a fever last night but is fine in the morning, you wouldn’t be able to send them to daycare that day, but our nanny has no problem coming over, doing some quieter activities that day, checking temp every few hours, and administering Tylenol if necessary.
- They still get a lot of socialization. Our nanny takes them to the playground, plans play dates, knows when all the library story times are, etc.

The cons:
- the hiring process can be stressful and kind of a pain. We tried a nanny agency and didn’t have any luck, so we were fortunate to hear about ours through word of mouth. It can be tough to gauge whether someone is the right fit.
- You are managing someone. For us, this required some effort for the first few months, but now it feels pretty seamless. Finding the right fit is key, but again, can be hard to do.
- I find the payroll/taxes stuff to be no issue at all, but some people think it’s burdensome. We use HomePay.
- finally, this is very minor, but because I have someone in my (small!) house every day, I do feel more pressure to keep it clean. That means I do dishes, wipe down counters, put away clutter, etc before she arrives every morning. But honestly, this is also kind of a pro, because it keeps my house clean and tidy.

OP, how old is your child? What hours do you need care (sometimes you are forced to use nanny care if you need non traditional hours)? Do you need help with any other kids?

Recent thread on the topic: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1120761.page

I think all your options can be good, but it's a very personal decision.

For me, the pros of daycare were oversight and consistency and not have to manage an employee and not having someone in my very small space while I worked since I WFH.

The pros of nanny were being able to control choices made (the things I've disliked about daycare are largely to do with nap schedules 6-15 months, having to pump, new walkers having to wear shoes, etc.), probably shorter hours in care, less aggressive sick policy and less exposure to other children's germs.

Good luck on your decision and wishing you the best!

The blog post that is the subject of this thread might interest you: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1120761.page (but beware the author makes the science seem a little more clear than it is, you should look at the individual studies cited in the post)

We have had our child in daycare since she was 5 months old. The biggest pro of daycare (assuming it is licensed) is that the state oversees daycares for basic safety and qualifications of the staff (not that they have amazing qualifications, just basic training and background checks). With a nanny you have to oversee all of that yourself. And the nanny will be in your home, so if you WFH that can be distracting. Also, there is a benefit to being around other children - our child was speech delayed when she was 1.5 yo, that also happed to be while she was at home due to the pandemic. When she started back up at daycare her speech exploded and her speech therapist told us that being around other kids can help with expressive language. Of course, it's possible she might have caught up anyway, but the therapist had obviously seen this happen before. Obviously, a nanny can also take a child to be with other kids.

The cons of daycare are it's a less relaxing environment for the child and they get less individual attention. Also, you have to pack up your child every day to take them to and from daycare. That process can easily add 20-30 minutes to your commute depending on how efficient the drop off process is.

We couldn't have afforded a nanny and it definitely wouldn't have worked for us with our WFH situation, but I definitely see the benefits.

Going back to work in August and deciding on childcare for DC, who’ll be five months then. I am strongly considering a nanny. Although the cost will be much greater, I think I will feel more comfortable with a nanny. Can you break down for me your pros and cons for each, in your experience? (I was a SAHM with my first two and put them in PT preschool starting when they were 2.5/3, so just don’t have experience with this.) TIA.