Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:40     Subject: Re:What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Anonymous wrote:Punishment for what?

Pay for their own bail, pay for the lawyer.


Sibling arguments, chore refusal, refusing to do something for sibling or parent in a time of panic etc
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:40     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sure. If they live at home, and you are supporting them, you still punish when rules aren't followed. And yes, not being allowed out is an option.


So should spouses punish their non-income generating spouse if they “break the rules?” It gets complicated when you start tying money and support to infantilizing someone. You certainly can’t prevent an adult from leaving the house freely, as PP suggests. That’s illegal. If you own the phone or car, sure, you can take them back and not allow access. But what is your goal here? What is the punishment supposed to accomplish? I assure you the kid knows they have broken your rules. Do you think punishment will get them to abide by your rules? And are your rules more important than your relationship with the kid?


This is a really dumb comparison. A child- meaning offspring- living in your house is not the same as your spouse. If they are living in your house they are not a fully functioning adult. If they are living in my house, they follow my rules. Obviously, rules are different for a 14 year old than a 19 year old. You give them more freedom. But you stay out all night without calling or texting? There are consequences for me freaking out at 5am. You don't like that? Don't live here.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:39     Subject: Re:What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
My 19 year old DS’s longtime friend’s younger sister is supposedly the “favorite child” in their messed up family. DS’s friend has no car access (but younger sister does) and he loses phone access frequently.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:38     Subject: Re:What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Punishment for what?

Pay for their own bail, pay for the lawyer.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:38     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Anonymous wrote:They are adults. Time for punishment is over.


Essentially this. But pulling financial support is always an option. They don't need to live in my house if they are not acting like responsible adults.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:36     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Anonymous wrote:Sure. If they live at home, and you are supporting them, you still punish when rules aren't followed. And yes, not being allowed out is an option.


So should spouses punish their non-income generating spouse if they “break the rules?” It gets complicated when you start tying money and support to infantilizing someone. You certainly can’t prevent an adult from leaving the house freely, as PP suggests. That’s illegal. If you own the phone or car, sure, you can take them back and not allow access. But what is your goal here? What is the punishment supposed to accomplish? I assure you the kid knows they have broken your rules. Do you think punishment will get them to abide by your rules? And are your rules more important than your relationship with the kid?
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:35     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
They are adults. Time for punishment is over.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:34     Subject: Re:What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
I know a dad who won’t facilitate his college-age kids paying for their own phones (but retaining their #’s) for control reasons.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:32     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Taking car away (if you pay for it).

Kicking them out of the house (for severe offenses)

We let them keep their phones
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:32     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Withdrawing financial support. Kicking them out of the family home. But it depends what they did.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:32     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
None.
You can take away the things that you pay for, however.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:29     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Sure. If they live at home, and you are supporting them, you still punish when rules aren't followed. And yes, not being allowed out is an option.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:29     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
spanking over your lap
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:28     Subject: Re:What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Following. Wondering the same thing. And if you figure it out, OP, please let us know!
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 12:25     Subject: What punishments are acceptable for 18+ year olds?
Such as college students. Taking phone away? Taking away car keys?