Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 15:26     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
My mom's delusions didn't start until the end of her dementia (like she told me over the phone that she'd had lunch with her deceased brother). The beginning was not paying bills on time, etc.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 11:53     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, the thing that concerns me is that he remembers details of the 'carwash' like the name and the colors of the signage. The carwash NEVER existed. In fact a carwash with the business name never existed according to the Internet and I am 100% certain it never existed. DH is unwavering that he remembered the name, location, signage and when it was there. It never existed.



Hmm. So what time period was the car wash supposed to have existed in?


OP here.
He didn't quote the time frame, but he said he used the carwash when he owned a certain vehicle, so that gave it a time period of 10-15 years ago. The building that is standing on the corner now is likely 40+ years old. We didn't live here 40+ years ago. Somehow, DH cannot see the facts don't add up and he is sticking by his story. It's so concerning that his logic is not kicking in.


I think he is mixing up locations, which would not concern me too much, but it might be worth it to have him see a doctor anyway.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 10:47     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, the thing that concerns me is that he remembers details of the 'carwash' like the name and the colors of the signage. The carwash NEVER existed. In fact a carwash with the business name never existed according to the Internet and I am 100% certain it never existed. DH is unwavering that he remembered the name, location, signage and when it was there. It never existed.



Hmm. So what time period was the car wash supposed to have existed in?


OP here.
He didn't quote the time frame, but he said he used the carwash when he owned a certain vehicle, so that gave it a time period of 10-15 years ago. The building that is standing on the corner now is likely 40+ years old. We didn't live here 40+ years ago. Somehow, DH cannot see the facts don't add up and he is sticking by his story. It's so concerning that his logic is not kicking in.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 10:06     Subject: Re:DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
Memory is tricky, so he may be conflating things. As someone else said, dementia is short-term first. Has your DH changed medications recently? It may be some sort of delirium brought on by meds. If he's open to screening, go for it, but this is an area where you may get no answers, at least for a while.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:59     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
Anonymous wrote:OP here, the thing that concerns me is that he remembers details of the 'carwash' like the name and the colors of the signage. The carwash NEVER existed. In fact a carwash with the business name never existed according to the Internet and I am 100% certain it never existed. DH is unwavering that he remembered the name, location, signage and when it was there. It never existed.



Hmm. So what time period was the car wash supposed to have existed in?
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:54     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
Dementia impacts short term memory first. So he might not retain info you shared today, yesterday ad last week. You husband’s long term memory is a little fuzzy. That is different.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:43     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
OP again, my DH and I have driven past this location at least a couple times a week for 25 years.Many businesses have come and gone. He even remembers going to the carwash (that was never there). It makes me worried that he is 'remembering' other things and not verbalizing the thoughts.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:41     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
Does he drink a lot? I knew someone like this who had Korsakoff syndrome. It's a vitamin b1 deficiency linked to alcohol (though that's not the only cause of it) and it leads to confabulation. Of course he could just be wrong and defensive, but if it's that, he really would believe it to be true.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:34     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
Anonymous wrote:OP here, the thing that concerns me is that he remembers details of the 'carwash' like the name and the colors of the signage. The carwash NEVER existed. In fact a carwash with the business name never existed according to the Internet and I am 100% certain it never existed. DH is unwavering that he remembered the name, location, signage and when it was there. It never existed.



So it existed somewhere else (or it's a mash-up of several carwashes he often drives past) and he just transferred the location. Because it's really hard to create a detailed visual out of nothing. People don't do that. When he's calm, you can talk about memory theories and displacement. You can tell him you're worried about dementia, and that he should carefully consider whether he's being stubborn because he feels caught in a
lie" or very sure that what he said existed.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:30     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?

My husband does this when he bring up past disputes, even when several of us who were there tell him he's factually wrong.

In his case it's entirely an Aspie emotional issue. When he makes a major mistake, he cannot accept blame until he's worked out an alternative story where someone else is also to blame. So he rewrites history to make that happen and is capable of bringing it up years afterwards, if necessary.

Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:29     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
OP here, the thing that concerns me is that he remembers details of the 'carwash' like the name and the colors of the signage. The carwash NEVER existed. In fact a carwash with the business name never existed according to the Internet and I am 100% certain it never existed. DH is unwavering that he remembered the name, location, signage and when it was there. It never existed.

Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:25     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
Anonymous wrote:My DH is 65 and still healthy and going about his life and work, but every once in a while he will 'remember' something that never happened and I am concerned. For example he would say that something existed where it didn't, - like there was a carwash on a corner and now it's been torn down and there is a store there. But it's not true, I know it's not true and the internet shows it's not true but he will argue that it's true. He thinks he remembers something that didn't happen at all. I am certain that he is incorrect, but he gets angry that he is correct.

Does this sound like dementia? Or is it normal for mid-60's?


I think he’s just misremembering things, and being stubborn about being wrong. I wouldn’t leap to dementia.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:25     Subject: Re:DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
The real question is, is he open to getting screened? If not, not much you can do. Politely disagree but there is no need to prove a point that he is wrong. The fact that there was not a car wash there is a small problem.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:24     Subject: Re:DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
This just sounds like normal bickering to me but he can get screened by his doctor.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2023 09:22     Subject: DH 'Remembers' Things that Didn't Happen - Dementia?
My DH is 65 and still healthy and going about his life and work, but every once in a while he will 'remember' something that never happened and I am concerned. For example he would say that something existed where it didn't, - like there was a carwash on a corner and now it's been torn down and there is a store there. But it's not true, I know it's not true and the internet shows it's not true but he will argue that it's true. He thinks he remembers something that didn't happen at all. I am certain that he is incorrect, but he gets angry that he is correct.

Does this sound like dementia? Or is it normal for mid-60's?