Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of Brett Kavanaugh: I worked my @ass off!

To be fair, he actually did? Perfect GPA at Georgetown Prep, 17x/180 LSAT score, 3.7+ Yale GPA, editor of Yale Law Journal.

And quite an accomplished diarist, to boof.

Anonymous wrote:Because its as hard as they worked and thats all they know. Most of us are blind to our own privileges. My parents are immigrants from eastern Europe. Came with nothing and a kid at 35. But they also had free PHD educations that were able to be translated and used as credentials, foreign language skills, a community they tapped into for support and they are white. Very different than immigrants from subsistence farming villages in central america for example. They all work hard but started with very different decks of cards.

This is true. I thought we grew up middle class and really didn't fully comprehend that we were actually poor we were until my 30s. If I couldn't grasp our poverty WHILE LIVING THROUGH IT there's no chance wealthy people can truly grasp how privileged they are and how lacking others are. They are COMPLETELY oblivious. It's not even worth talking to them about it. They will never get it.

It's like a rich Republican guy who tells people poorer than him to bootstrap, work harder and quit freeloading -- then you look up his name and he got $800,000+ in PPP cash. People have blinders on. It's easy to talk crap about the poor because they don't even understand what poverty is like.

Anonymous wrote:Reminds me of Brett Kavanaugh: I worked my @ass off!

To be fair, he actually did? Perfect GPA at Georgetown Prep, 17x/180 LSAT score, 3.7+ Yale GPA, editor of Yale Law Journal.

What some of you are missing is that when someone says "But I worked hard for what I have" they are almost always saying it defensively because they have been criticized (or they have detected criticism where there might not have been any). Which is also why it's annoying. It's a sign of insecurity. If these people felt more secure in themselves, they wouldn't struggle to acknowledge that they had advantages in life that helped them get where they are. The only reason they are saying "but I worked so hard" is because they are actively trying to distract or paper over their advantages.

People who say this know they are privileged but would prefer you not know because they worry it will make you think less of them. But the best way to handle that situation is just to own it. "Yes, I got a huge leg up because of my family's money and connections, I realize that. I've always tried to make the most of those opportunities though, because I know not everyone gets them." That's grace and confidence. Trying to convince someone that your success is solely due to your work ethic when you were born to wealth and sent to the best schools and had high level connections into your field of choice should be embarrassing to you. Just own who you are and don't be defensive. It actually invites MORE criticism, not less.

Anonymous wrote:Because its as hard as they worked and thats all they know. Most of us are blind to our own privileges. My parents are immigrants from eastern Europe. Came with nothing and a kid at 35. But they also had free PHD educations that were able to be translated and used as credentials, foreign language skills, a community they tapped into for support and they are white. Very different than immigrants from subsistence farming villages in central america for example. They all work hard but started with very different decks of cards.

This right here!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be born privileged and also work hard. The two are not mutually exclusive

Of course. You can also be born NOT privileged, work even harder, and wind up with a lot less.

That's why it's obnoxious for people to emphasize their hard work as the reason for their success and glide right over an inheritance or a job they got through nepotism or even the gift of graduating from school debt free due to parent contributions or being able to live at home. Hard work alone is not enough for most people.

When they say that they are probably comparing themselves to their peers, folks who started off with similar level of privilege. Like, I’ve never thought about it before this post, but I did better than many of my HS classmates and the children of my parents’ friends.

This is true. I was born into a (non-white) UMC professional educated family and have ascended to UC or close to it I guess. I work damn hard but my parents have helped me so much by raising me well, inspiring me, paying for college, and providing a safety net if I ever need one. I kind of worry for my kids… are they going to have it too easy?

Because its as hard as they worked and thats all they know. Most of us are blind to our own privileges. My parents are immigrants from eastern Europe. Came with nothing and a kid at 35. But they also had free PHD educations that were able to be translated and used as credentials, foreign language skills, a community they tapped into for support and they are white. Very different than immigrants from subsistence farming villages in central america for example. They all work hard but started with very different decks of cards.

Anonymous wrote:You can be born privileged and also work hard. The two are not mutually exclusive

Of course. You can also be born NOT privileged, work even harder, and wind up with a lot less.

That's why it's obnoxious for people to emphasize their hard work as the reason for their success and glide right over an inheritance or a job they got through nepotism or even the gift of graduating from school debt free due to parent contributions or being able to live at home. Hard work alone is not enough for most people.

Depends on where the mansion is!

You can be born privileged and also work hard. The two are not mutually exclusive

Anonymous wrote:Jealousy is not a good look. Work on yourself.

Neither is being hilariously predictable. Work on yourself.

NP

Reminds me of Brett Kavanaugh: I worked my @ass off!

Jealousy is not a good look. Work on yourself.

I wish people were just transparent about how they come by their good fortune. No, you did not buy a mansion on a nonprofit salary due to hard work. Just own it!!