This is much less of a problem than if the school where they both got in wasn't a top choice for both. This way they can both follow their academic dreams, and then the relationship will thrive or fail naturally. Of course, if it were my kid, I'd also encourage them to meet new people, join clubs, get involved in college life fully.

Anonymous wrote:If you were ok with this school being her top choice before, the boyfriend shouldn't change things.

I'd be more concerned if she was ditching her top choice admission for some other school that made no sense - just because of the boyfriend.

Don't get involved -the relationship will play itself out and she'll have to deal with that regardless.

This. I'd be worried if my kid was choosing based on the relationship. But if it was her top choice before, it wouldn't bother me. The relationship will take its own course.

Anonymous wrote:That’s really hard. Ask her if he’s willing to give up HIS top choice to go to her top choice school. If he isn’t, that should tell her something. Even if she tries to justify why he wouldn’t, it might get her thinking.

That's stupid. Why should he give up his top choice school because *her* parents don't want them to attend college together? It's not giving up something for her, it's giving up something to placate her parents, which is a terrible idea.

Anonymous wrote:That’s really hard. Ask her if he’s willing to give up HIS top choice to go to her top choice school. If he isn’t, that should tell her something. Even if she tries to justify why he wouldn’t, it might get her thinking.

What would it tell her exactly? That where he goes to college is more important than the relationship? It should be! But if they end up at the same college and continue to date, so be it.

If you were ok with this school being her top choice before, the boyfriend shouldn't change things.

I'd be more concerned if she was ditching her top choice admission for some other school that made no sense - just because of the boyfriend.

Don't get involved -the relationship will play itself out and she'll have to deal with that regardless.

That’s really hard. Ask her if he’s willing to give up HIS top choice to go to her top choice school. If he isn’t, that should tell her something. Even if she tries to justify why he wouldn’t, it might get her thinking.

Anonymous wrote:Both applied to a variety of diff schools but had two overlaps and both are in at their top choice. Boyfriend is very nice but I'm afraid DD will be held back--she's "madly" in love. Dh wants to insist she go elsewhere. How often does this happen? What's a mom to do?

Leave it. They will probably break up in their own time. Most high school relationships don't last past freshman year, even if you're on the same campus. If it does last, then it was really something special and you should leave that alone.

I would back way off. This will be fine and they will likely break up but if you force it, it will spectacularly backfire. Congrats to her for getting in!

She may actually do better academically because of it since she won’t spend so much time on chasing relationships! Look at the bright side

Insisting she goes elsewhere will backfire spectacularly. There is a good chance they will break up anyway, but if you don't let her go to her top choice because her boyfriend is going there, she will blame you for everything that goes badly at whatever school she goes to, she will resent you, and she will hold it against you. Let her attend her top choice. Encourage her to do her own thing, too, and meet new people, but don't interfere.

how big is school?

They will break up by Xmas. don’t worry about it.
Make sure they live in separate dorms, choose different classes, sign up for different clubs, be individualized even though they r going to the uni together

Don’t choose a school based on a relationship. That also means not giving up a top choice because of a relationship either. They might work out. They might not. That’s college. Encourage her to take the relationship out of the final decision but don’t limit her form choosing the top choice

Both applied to a variety of diff schools but had two overlaps and both are in at their top choice. Boyfriend is very nice but I'm afraid DD will be held back--she's "madly" in love. Dh wants to insist she go elsewhere. How often does this happen? What's a mom to do?