A lot depends on specifics.

Is your kid going to play a sport - this sport - in high school as a school sport if he quits travel now? Playing in high school can be a very good thing for kids. But a ton depends on how competitive the high school program is.

Another big thing - what are you going to replace the time usage with? Another sport? Music? Does he play an instrument? Art? What else is he involved with? What will he be doing for fun?

Anonymous wrote:Please talk me off a ledge. I am thinking of pulling my MS kid from competitive travel sport bc it is gotten to be so much and I don’t see a sustainable path through HS. Is this crazy? Or could kid pick up the sport again in HS? They truly love it but I feel like the amount of practice time is causing injury already and they get very stressed out about performance already. I am thinking a time off may do a kid good. Will a program make room again for the kid down the line? Kid is great now in MS but understand they will be left in the dust by kids who don’t take time off. Kid may hate me… I have let it become their whole identity and I so regret not intervening earlier. but I feel like overuse injury is brewing or a mental breakdown. And we put absolutely zero pressure on kid to succeed. Do I wait until that happens or try to address proactively?

You kid won’t even make high school team. Relax jan with low expectations

Our kid had a lot of injuries so had to pull back. It’s going ok so far

Hi OP, I think your concerns - injury, sport being his identity - are worth worrying about. Some parents revel in the fact that their kids identify themselves as a competitive gymnast, downhill ski racer, etc, but obviously most kids will not be athletes forever.

For me, the injury component would be enough to pull back. “Mostly uninjured” makes it sound like there have been a few injuries so far and you have concern that more injuries will be hard to avoid. If it’s a sport that has a higher rate of overuse injury that can lead to pain/impairment as an adult, I would be more willing to pull back.

Thank you everyone. I actually have had kid into preventative PT and have started looking for someone they can see about performance anxiety. I don’t want to add in strength training yet bc only in middle school and I am trying to keep commitments lower. My kid is on the younger side so I insist on sticking with the minimum required practice at this time and happily allow skipping for school work, rest etc. I am a little crazy about sleep and try to insist on 9 hours (but I can see that will be hard next year as school work ramps up, which is part of the issue).

Kid has all As in school and mostly not injured though definite aches and pains, and I worry about overuse a lot. Kid is mostly rule following (forgets to make bed but sticks with major responsibilities).

So I do worry about creating a problem where there isn’t one but looking ahead, it feels unsustainable.

No doubt the sport has been a positive so far but it is getting to a tipping point where I really question it. On one hand, how lucky to have something they love and are good at. On the other, the expectations outside our family keep ramping up and it feels like a losing proposition. I think that is my main worry.

Clearly, I was not an athlete and don’t know what to do with this.

I didn’t force mine to stop if they didn’t want to but I’ve said no to continuing with certain programs. It usually comes down to time and driving. I can’t keep up the crazy schedule and see how it’s making them miserable, even if they love certain aspects. We have discussed alternatives together.

No, I have not pulled them from activities completely. I also never worry about them participating in the future because we don’t know what life will bring. I am focused on the current or upcoming season and if that works for all of us.

Try to address the issues separately. First, consult with a sports PT/ trainer to express injury concerns and get advice on prevention ( if any), stretching, targeted strength training. Second, you can try to find a trusted sports psychologist to address his performance anxiety and identity issues. Third, set up sessions with a trainer/ coach in his sport for honest assessment of where he is versus needs to be for continued success. Finally, gently encourage him to take a few weeks break to unwind and try other sports and hobbies plus connect more with friends.

But understand if you pull the plug after supporting him to get to this level, then you own it and he may never forget or forgive.

I’m the parent of a short MS basketball player and I also share some of your concerns regarding my son and his future in his beloved sport.

Soccer is an ultra competitive sport. Nonetheless, he can pick it up in high school if he has talent.

Talk with your son & include him in any decision.

OP if you think your kid is headed for a stress injury or he’s mentally fried talk to the coach asap. I know you want to balance keeping your kid engaged with a sport that’s his identity, but I know my middle schooler is not yet capable of making decisions to manage his stress and put his health first. You’ll have to do this for him, hopefully with the support of the coach.
My MS kid plays on a travel team and it’s stressful much of the time as it’s so intense. I’m ok w my kid missing practices occasionally to let him rest or hang with school friends. so many physical changes with this age group! Many are up late, then get up early, and then have practice in the evenings- sometimes late. Plus homework and downtime.
Any chance your kid will be relieved if you step in and force him to take a break?

How is he going to react if you take it away from him? If he’s doing well in school and not injured, I would let him stay the course. He’s lucky to have found something he loves. Let other people slow him down someday.

We continue for the exercise and fun. No expectations.

Sorry but I think parents who let sports take over their kids' lives are nuts. I have two athletic boys and I can assure you that neither my kids nor your kids are going to be pro athletes and they're not getting college scholarships. Focus on what matters: academics and good health (mental and physical.) If their sports schedule interferes with any of that, it's a big mistake.

What sport? In some, it may be nearly impossible to start again after taking time off.

Similar to the poster above me, have an 8th grader and am hoping this is his last year in his travel sport. He is on the smaller side, having trouble keeping ip size and talent wise, and seems to be stressed out over it. I don’t think he has any chance to play in high school and personally I think his time would be better spent focusing more on schoolwork (and find other outlets for physical exercise). But- I haven’t said anything to him and I will ultimately let it be his choice.

Yes because we realized he just didn’t have the genetic potential to play high level in high school and definitely not in college. DH and I aren’t tall. Son grew early and DH said he reached his height in 8th grade so most likely son was not going to grow much more. That ended up being true.

Please talk me off a ledge. I am thinking of pulling my MS kid from competitive travel sport bc it is gotten to be so much and I don’t see a sustainable path through HS. Is this crazy? Or could kid pick up the sport again in HS? They truly love it but I feel like the amount of practice time is causing injury already and they get very stressed out about performance already. I am thinking a time off may do a kid good. Will a program make room again for the kid down the line? Kid is great now in MS but understand they will be left in the dust by kids who don’t take time off. Kid may hate me… I have let it become their whole identity and I so regret not intervening earlier. but I feel like overuse injury is brewing or a mental breakdown. And we put absolutely zero pressure on kid to succeed. Do I wait until that happens or try to address proactively?