Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have mirrors and exist in the world. I don’t understand how a person wouldn’t know how their looks compare to others.

because beauty is subjective. As they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

I have two sisters. I always thought the oldest one was the prettiest, but I was told by a few men, that they didn't think that was true. Objectively, I think she is prettier, but I think because maybe they knew our personalities, maybe they found me more attractive. IDK. But, it is subjective.

Siblings often look similar enough that it's really a matter of personal preference.

Anonymous wrote:I remember staring at my friend around 5th or 6th grade and thinking "She's plain looking, but beautiful to me because I like her as a person" and having the realization that some people will only be attractive because of their personality and thinking how lucky I was that I looked good AND had a good personality.

Wow you are horrible

Anonymous wrote:We have mirrors and exist in the world. I don’t understand how a person wouldn’t know how their looks compare to others.

because beauty is subjective. As they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

I have two sisters. I always thought the oldest one was the prettiest, but I was told by a few men, that they didn't think that was true. Objectively, I think she is prettier, but I think because maybe they knew our personalities, maybe they found me more attractive. IDK. But, it is subjective.

Anonymous wrote:I’m “cute” white-Asian and know there is a small subset of men who are attracted to my appearance, because they rapidly ask about my origins and express interest. The majority of men are not interested.

they may be interested, but just too shy to make it known that they are interested. I have been known to not be "approachable", but I have had mostly random men tell me I'm pretty, but that's because they are random and don't have to interact with me. My brother's bf told me I was attractive, and it made me feel weird.

full disclosure: my kids are white/Asian.

I remember staring at my friend around 5th or 6th grade and thinking "She's plain looking, but beautiful to me because I like her as a person" and having the realization that some people will only be attractive because of their personality and thinking how lucky I was that I looked good AND had a good personality.

Everyone’s attractive to someone in some way. It’s just making that connection.

Not everyone falls for blonde and blue eyed types or people who are lean and muscular, etc..

We have mirrors and exist in the world. I don’t understand how a person wouldn’t know how their looks compare to others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If only men felt confident commenting on women’s appearances and hitting on them aggressively! Including loudly, in public! Then we might know. But alas

That’s not always about her looks, though. Sometimes it’s about dominance. It’s also subjective.

Subjective, but if many men hit on you, you are probably attractive to a majority of people. Of course some will say that certain women are so attractive they're intimidating to men, but that's not so common.

I’m “cute” white-Asian and know there is a small subset of men who are attracted to my appearance, because they rapidly ask about my origins and express interest. The majority of men are not interested.

People tell you you are attractive, compare you to celebrities, look at you, hit on you, compliment you, etc.

They are told, stared at, given things, have many choices of mates, etc.

Anonymous wrote:If only men felt confident commenting on women’s appearances and hitting on them aggressively! Including loudly, in public! Then we might know. But alas

That’s not always about her looks, though. Sometimes it’s about dominance. It’s also subjective.

Anonymous wrote:In an overall, general sense, how does a woman know she’s attractive?

I was listening to a book analysis podcast which got me thinking. The hosts mentioned the supposed attractiveness of a main character from the view of the narrator, and then posed the point that, a woman can’t know for certain she’s generally/overall attractive just because her partner is attracted to her, because that’s subjective. She also can’t use her own perspective because she could be viewing herself narcissistically.

So how does a woman know she’s objectively attractive?

The number of times this topic comes up on DCUM is insane. I have been on many other forums and never in my life seen this topic come up so frequently.

Also, it’s extremely easy - if you are attractive, many, many people throughout your life will either tell you that or try to have a romantic relationship w you. It will happen frequently, and you can tell when you talk to people if you can command their attention bc you’re attractive. There’s no mistaking the kind of attention you get from others when you are attractive. Unless you’re a billionaire - in which case you may get the same kind of attention as an attractive person bc again people will be super interested in you.

If only men felt confident commenting on women’s appearances and hitting on them aggressively! Including loudly, in public! Then we might know. But alas

In an overall, general sense, how does a woman know she’s attractive?

I was listening to a book analysis podcast which got me thinking. The hosts mentioned the supposed attractiveness of a main character from the view of the narrator, and then posed the point that, a woman can’t know for certain she’s generally/overall attractive just because her partner is attracted to her, because that’s subjective. She also can’t use her own perspective because she could be viewing herself narcissistically.

So how does a woman know she’s objectively attractive?