Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

+1 but schools love to say we have a zero bullying policy.....ummm

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Bullying is in the eye of the receiver. It is very, very difficult to monitor. Of course, there are some cases that are very clear. Most are not.

I taught school. There are some kids that say "He looked at me!" and call that bullying. Sadly, sometimes it is bullying. Most times, it is not.

That's fine, but if my kid, I'm going to e-mail the principal and use the word bullying. They may choose to not enter the report, but legally they are required to and if things escalate I am going to use their failure to act to protect my kid

Just because you used the word bullying in an email does not mean that it’s bullying and does not mean that it’s going to get reported.

Anonymous wrote:I remember being at a meeting as school (a middle school counselor had monthly meetings open to all parents with speakers). One of the topics was bullying and a mom was complaining about a girl bullying her son. In the conversation, it came out that her son had a crush on the girl and the other girls were teasing her. So, she bullied the boy. It was clear to me that the boy brought it on himself by his actions. The girl reacted. The mom just did not "get" that the problem orgininated with her son. Certainly, the girl should not have been ugly to him, but at 11-12 years old, she was in an uncomfortable situation.

Explain. Seriously. Explain. How does having a crush on someone, bring it upon themselves to be bullied? What kind of f*cked up logic is that? You have feelings for someone so that gives them the right to treat you poorly? What kind of crappy relationship dynamics are you perpetuating?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Too few parents complain formally. You can put them in a position where they have to address it

This is what the school hides behind even when they know full well what is happening. Formally reporting it just means they open up an "investigation" where they drag kids into what is already a messy situation, usually making it worse for the victim and then conclude that there is no bullying because the kids are the same age and therefore there is no "power imbalance". Then they push for Restorative Justice and the mediator declines to move forward with the matter. If the high schools want to know why the kids are such a disrespectful mess, they should take a long, hard look at what is allowed to happen in the elementary schools.

i don't think that I could agree with a statement more than this, but never heard it articulated so well. I have been watching kids get worse and worse as they progress the grades and most of that is because it was never addressed early on.

I remember being at a meeting as school (a middle school counselor had monthly meetings open to all parents with speakers). One of the topics was bullying and a mom was complaining about a girl bullying her son. In the conversation, it came out that her son had a crush on the girl and the other girls were teasing her. So, she bullied the boy. It was clear to me that the boy brought it on himself by his actions. The girl reacted. The mom just did not "get" that the problem orgininated with her son. Certainly, the girl should not have been ugly to him, but at 11-12 years old, she was in an uncomfortable situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Bullying is in the eye of the receiver. It is very, very difficult to monitor. Of course, there are some cases that are very clear. Most are not.

I taught school. There are some kids that say "He looked at me!" and call that bullying. Sadly, sometimes it is bullying. Most times, it is not.

+1

Taxpayers don't want to pay (either wasting police or teacher or admin resources) for bad parenting, OP. Can't say I blame them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Bullying is in the eye of the receiver. It is very, very difficult to monitor. Of course, there are some cases that are very clear. Most are not.

I taught school. There are some kids that say "He looked at me!" and call that bullying. Sadly, sometimes it is bullying. Most times, it is not.

That's fine, but if my kid, I'm going to e-mail the principal and use the word bullying. They may choose to not enter the report, but legally they are required to and if things escalate I am going to use their failure to act to protect my kid

You have way less power as a parent in these situations than you think you do. Definitely document so if your kid defends themself, you can show that they were not the instigator, but other than that, you can't make the bullying stop if the school admin isn't willing to punish the offenders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Bullying is in the eye of the receiver. It is very, very difficult to monitor. Of course, there are some cases that are very clear. Most are not.

I taught school. There are some kids that say "He looked at me!" and call that bullying. Sadly, sometimes it is bullying. Most times, it is not.

That's fine, but if my kid, I'm going to e-mail the principal and use the word bullying. They may choose to not enter the report, but legally they are required to and if things escalate I am going to use their failure to act to protect my kid

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Too few parents complain formally. You can put them in a position where they have to address it

This is what the school hides behind even when they know full well what is happening. Formally reporting it just means they open up an "investigation" where they drag kids into what is already a messy situation, usually making it worse for the victim and then conclude that there is no bullying because the kids are the same age and therefore there is no "power imbalance". Then they push for Restorative Justice and the mediator declines to move forward with the matter. If the high schools want to know why the kids are such a disrespectful mess, they should take a long, hard look at what is allowed to happen in the elementary schools.

Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Bullying is in the eye of the receiver. It is very, very difficult to monitor. Of course, there are some cases that are very clear. Most are not.

I taught school. There are some kids that say "He looked at me!" and call that bullying. Sadly, sometimes it is bullying. Most times, it is not.

Anonymous wrote:bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Too few parents complain formally. You can put them in a position where they have to address it

Not dealing w/ it or covering it up

bullying is not really addressed until it it too late.

Interesting, but not surprising, that FCPS created a huge drama and called the police when the student made a threat, but couldn't be bothered to address the bullying that led to it.

FCPS handles everything by covering their own asses first and foremost. They will probably insist the parents get the child some kind of therapy (which few people can afford), and then investigate to figure out how serious the threat was (with a focus on covering up anything they might have done wrong). I'm not sure what the current policy is, but it used to be suspension followed by possibly transferring the student to a different school in FCPS (and the student gets their own bus, which your tax dollars pay for). Of course, once the police are involved, they must have their own procedures, and I have no idea what those are.

Does anyone know? Our elementary school got a letter last week that a student made a threat and administration and the police were involved. Like all stories, the kid was being bullied and then made some threats. What doe the police do? And how are these things handled/evaluated? Does anyone know?