Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the advice and the link to the AAPI program. Given me some things to think about.

You’re welcome. Just needed to add a disclaimer: I don’t have personal experience with the AAPI program so can’t vouch for it, but it’s something I learned about through work.

Thank you for the advice and the link to the AAPI program. Given me some things to think about.

My parents are in a similar situation. My dad wants my mom to age in place because he is concerned about her being neglected. He’s visited the reputable and high end memory care centers and none meet his standard. They live in a different state. My mom is in late stage and doesn’t speak intelligibly anymore but can be a picky eater.

He takes care of her very well and has 2 aides come in 6 hours a day a few times a week, and will increase the hours and days as needed. It seems to be fine right now but I am concerned if it all becomes too much. It’s good to have in mind a handful of adequately staffed memory care places that can accommodate the particular needs of your parent, such as meal preferences.

Potomac Valley has a special program for Asian Americans. I don’t think they have assisted living; it’s long-term care but worth looking into.

https://patch.com/maryland/rockville/aapi-ribbon-cutting-potomac-valley-rehab-health-center-nodx

My parents speak Chinese.

What language does he speak? In my parents and grandparents experience a lot of the caregivers were from non-Spanish speaking countries like the Philippines (in California) and a country in Africa (I'm sorry I can't remember which one) in Massachusetts.

My mother speaks enough English to get by.

Hiring an aide is a good idea, but I still worry about how the staff will treat him if they can’t communicate with him.

Maybe look to find an aid that speaks his language that could visit for some hours a week. Does your mother speak English? She may have to be there very often in the beginning (which she may prefer anyways)

My father has dementia and has progressed to the stage where he wanders and gets lost at night. He also constantly wakes my mother at night. She's exhausted.

We're considering out options, but we don't know whether to let him age in place or put him in memory care. Lots of people warn against aging in place, and I want to be proactive. But memory care doesn't seem like a great option?

My father doesn't speak English or Spanish, so I'm not sure how the staff can help him in a facility. I imagine being surrounded by strangers and being unable to communicate is scary and stressful. I also feel it'd be frustrating to the staff, and I worry he could get neglected.

My mother can at least talk to him while he's home and cook some familiar foods, but I don't know what we'll do when the disease gets worse, even with help.

Should we put him in memory care or hire some help and ride it out as long as we can?