Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS has friends over pretty regularly; I like the kids and have some contact with parents but not frequent. One of the friends uses the bathroom and leaves a mess on the seat and floor.

I’m at a loss for how to handle this—talking to my kid, his friend, and friend’s mom all sound like varying Dante’s circles. If I just quietly clean up every time, will friend grow out of it? (My experience in public bathrooms indicates no.)

Single mom, so don’t suggest DH handle any of it.

Stop having him come over so much.

What a stupid suggestion. Do your kids have any friends? Do you?

I wouldn’t continue to have this loser over who pisses all over the bathroom, that’s for sure.

Talk to your son about it. Otherwise don't have the kid over as much. I hate having other kids at my house, but it's social convention so I grin and bear it. But I try to minimize it whenever I can.

Anonymous wrote:Son cleans it. He can decide if he wants to avoid the same issue time after time.

Cause truthfully you don't know who's actually making the mess.

+1

Teen son thoroughly cleans up any mess after friends are over. Beyond that, let him decide how to handle it.

Son cleans it. He can decide if he wants to avoid the same issue time after time.

Cause truthfully you don't know who's actually making the mess.

I’d tell my son and friends that the bathroom is a mess and they need to clean it. I wouldn’t single anyone out and I figure if my kid has friends over it’s my kid’s responsibility. I’d leave Lysol wipes in the bathroom and a swifter wet jet mop convenient.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS has friends over pretty regularly; I like the kids and have some contact with parents but not frequent. One of the friends uses the bathroom and leaves a mess on the seat and floor.

I’m at a loss for how to handle this—talking to my kid, his friend, and friend’s mom all sound like varying Dante’s circles. If I just quietly clean up every time, will friend grow out of it? (My experience in public bathrooms indicates no.)

Single mom, so don’t suggest DH handle any of it.

Stop having him come over so much.

What a stupid suggestion. Do your kids have any friends? Do you?

Anonymous wrote:DS has friends over pretty regularly; I like the kids and have some contact with parents but not frequent. One of the friends uses the bathroom and leaves a mess on the seat and floor.

I’m at a loss for how to handle this—talking to my kid, his friend, and friend’s mom all sound like varying Dante’s circles. If I just quietly clean up every time, will friend grow out of it? (My experience in public bathrooms indicates no.)

Single mom, so don’t suggest DH handle any of it.

Stop having him come over so much.

Ask your son to address it with him. If he won't, you need to be direct and confront them as a group so as not to single out the messy kid. "You all, or some of you, are peeing on the seat and floor. Please be more careful or sit down. I don't want to have to clean up after you. Thank you".


No need to embarrass one kid.

Get the sign from my Grandma’s house that said, “if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.” I would leave out a container of wipes with DO NOT FLUSH written in sharpie on the lid and a good sized trash can. My kids play sports and I don’t know how they can do that and can miss the trash can.

My son has bad aim. He has adhd and gets wrapped up in something and waits too late and there is no control. He is also super grossed out by mess ironically - freaks out about having to clean it (ha always been like that and I think related to situations in his early childhood before he lived with us). Well, that got deep. Anyway, my son is probably that friend. The issues are a reason, not an excuse.

Yay that your son and his friends want to hang out at your house!!!!!!!!

I’d go to you son the next time it happens and give him a heads up. “Hey - take a look in the bathroom. Larlo’s got pretty bad aim, there’s pee on the seat and floor. I’ll clean it up this time, but he’s your guest so in the future that’s your responsibility. Totally up to you how you wanna handle it. You can talk to him, or you can clean it up after he leaves, either way is fine with me.”

Give him some autonomy, treat him like an adult, practice with pitfalls of hosting, responsibility, etc. win win.

I would never want to embarrass someone by saying something about it. I would probably mention it to my own kid and if he was comfortable saying something, then next time the friend is over, DS could use the bathroom after him and then say something like “hey man, you peed all over the bathroom! What’s up with that! Can you go wipe it up?” That way it wouldn’t be coming from me and it could be pretty casual.

Ew. I would tell him to go home and make his mess there. I'm not his maid or his mother.

“You guys are leaving the bathroom messy and missing the toilet when you pee. sit down to pee if you have to so it stays in the bowl. Use the cleaner wipes if you make a mess. And don’t wait till it’s an emergency. If it keeps being left messy up we’ll have to cancel the hangouts.”

Why not put up a sign?

I have no problems confronting boys / men too.

DS has friends over pretty regularly; I like the kids and have some contact with parents but not frequent. One of the friends uses the bathroom and leaves a mess on the seat and floor.

I’m at a loss for how to handle this—talking to my kid, his friend, and friend’s mom all sound like varying Dante’s circles. If I just quietly clean up every time, will friend grow out of it? (My experience in public bathrooms indicates no.)

Single mom, so don’t suggest DH handle any of it.