Of course you can ask about his kids' activities. My DD and DS are very involved with robotics and are happy to answer questions about how others can get involved. But that has nothing to do with his or his children's IQ, which is not something you can ask about.

This is a terrible idea. I mean if you want to say “hey, I hear your kid takes a robotics class, where is it?” That is fine. But anything other than a casual “oh where do you guys do that?” Is bizarre

Anonymous wrote:Totally a bad idea. You should not do this. Not even a little bit. He is not coming over as an expert who you are paying to advise you on your children. He's coming over as your husband's friend.

Agree.

Hopefully, your DH's next best friend is not a proctologist.

Don't pry. It is rude and his and his children's experiences are unlikely to be applicable to your situation.

I am normal IQ for this general area (130). I am friends with two separate people who have much higher IQs. I share a different hobby with each of them, and they are both exceptionally high EQ and can interact on my level with me relative to the hobby. They are just people.

Everyone on DCUM has an IQ over 170 and a net worth over 5 million. Also, they have two children, a boy and a girl. Both go to public school for preschool and GDS for the rest of it. They eat organic and forbid screentime and their kids get all As and perfect scores.

Terrible idea. You do not know this person. Don’t pounce on him with your questions.

This reads as the same OP who cannot figure ANYTHING out for her child. Same writing, questioning, etc.


No OP you cannot ask this.

I think that asking about his children's STEM/robotics activities is fine. That's a perfectly normal topic of conversation. If your kids are at all interested in that stuff, it would be reasonable to ask about resources or tips.

But I wouldn't ask him about their development or "journey" or how gifted they are or tips for parenting genius children or anything like that. You know that it will make him uncomfortable because he's private and doesn't like being in the spotlight. He has a high IQ, but he's a normal person not a freak show or a guru.

Anonymous wrote:Totally a bad idea. You should not do this. Not even a little bit. He is not coming over as an expert who you are paying to advise you on your children. He's coming over as your husband's friend.

+1

Agree. We have quite a few friends like this, OP - it never once occurred to us to corner them and talk about how they cope with being truly (not just by measly DMV standards) exceptional. Poor form.

Totally a bad idea. You should not do this. Not even a little bit. He is not coming over as an expert who you are paying to advise you on your children. He's coming over as your husband's friend.

Anonymous wrote:Dh has a gifted friend that he knows for 30 plus years. He is a prodigy, and there is article about him on social media. He went to college full time when DH was still in elementary school, and DH is only younger than him like 1-2 years. He has older kids that he is busy with taking them stem and robotic competitions. I won't be surprised that his kids are gifted, and I know that he does not want his children to experience what his chilhood is even though I don't know specific details. He does not like the spotlight in public.

Well, I only have met that friend a few time, and he seems normal to me. He is coming over to our house next week without kids. He is private with personal life, so no one has seen his kids include DH. It will be the first time he meet my 2 kids ( 8 and 5). My 2 kids are special needs, one has signs of giftness with asd/adhd, and the other one might have dyslexia. DH and he hang out a few times per year without kids outside. I want to ask some parenting tip and stem/robotic resources. And, I am curious about his children development & journey as well. Is that bad ideas? I hope that I won't make myself look stupid. DH tells me to go ahead, and he can give me his phone number to text or call if I want.

DH treats him as a normal buddy. I feel like IQ that high is not a normal person.

Yet, he is a person with feeling and thoughts. Those feelings and thoughts may be more profound than what you experience, so be mindful to avoid treating him like some kind of freak show.

I hope he seems normal if you're not talking about intellectually demanding areas. If you went for a walk with Tom Brady you wouldn't notice that he was a physical freak.

Sounds like you should trust your husband's judgement since he knows the guy. I'd just preface any questions with something like, "If this isn't something you know about or feel comfortable giving advice on, please let me know, but I wondered what you thought about..."

To me it sounds like the questions you want to ask him would make him very uncomfortable.

Dh has a gifted friend that he knows for 30 plus years. He is a prodigy, and there is article about him on social media. He went to college full time when DH was still in elementary school, and DH is only younger than him like 1-2 years. He has older kids that he is busy with taking them stem and robotic competitions. I won't be surprised that his kids are gifted, and I know that he does not want his children to experience what his chilhood is even though I don't know specific details. He does not like the spotlight in public.

Well, I only have met that friend a few time, and he seems normal to me. He is coming over to our house next week without kids. He is private with personal life, so no one has seen his kids include DH. It will be the first time he meet my 2 kids ( 8 and 5). My 2 kids are special needs, one has signs of giftness with asd/adhd, and the other one might have dyslexia. DH and he hang out a few times per year without kids outside. I want to ask some parenting tip and stem/robotic resources. And, I am curious about his children development & journey as well. Is that bad ideas? I hope that I won't make myself look stupid. DH tells me to go ahead, and he can give me his phone number to text or call if I want.

DH treats him as a normal buddy. I feel like IQ that high is not a normal person.