Anonymous wrote:My kids grew up in NW DC where every extracurricular resource is scarce and competition for everything is really tough.

By college app time they had both racked up a long series of rejections: multiple travel sports teams, musical roles, private school applications, etc. etc.

They took college rejections in stride.

Same, and to the other PP, you have no idea, DC is in the performing arts and has been getting painful rejections since elementary school, which may seem small now but we’re emotionally hard at the time. In HS DC has tried out for the same EC every year since 10th, which was the first year that was possible, and received a very personal rejection every time. That said, for college, we have focused on the data and the long shots that their reaches were (are for the ones still remaining). I am thrilled that DC has some solid hard target acceptances and am bracing myself for a sea of rejections overs the next 9 days. DC seems to be weathering it okay.

Gosh, what a charmed life your child has had that a college rejection is their worst experience! Getting a college rejection is just a bump in the road. There are so many ways to be successful and opportunities, no matter what college they attend, or even if they choose not to go to college at all. Developing resiliency will serve them so much better in life than getting into a top choice college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids grew up in NW DC where every extracurricular resource is overabundant

FIFY

Maybe. But the pool of competent/impressive kids is larger.

My friends who have kids elsewhere (in middle America) don't have to fight 50 kids for a single spot on the travel basketball team. Or 100 kids to make it to the
semifinals of the spelling bee. Or whatnot.

They have a reasonably smart and/or reasonably athletic kid and the kid rises to the top of the local cohort.

Here you can have a talented kid and it's like "take a number". I'm sure it's similar in other urban areas.

Anyway--my point is not that the area is competitive OR heavily resourced. It's that my kids have been REJECTED A LOT.
And their response to college rejections was like, "shrug. Okay. Moving on".

Certainly if we react dramatically, it will affect them

In normal circumstances, can any kid be “devastated” at rejection from a college with less than 10% acceptance rate?
I think it’s more likely adults failed this kid.

No. Having a disability and having to work much harder than classmates has shown DS that life isn’t fair.

Anonymous wrote:We try to provide a safe, comfortable childhood then boom! At the end of it all, the devastating rejection. Will it make them stronger and more resilient or bitter?

No, and though it may seem big in the moment to your child, try to keep it in perspective. Your child is very lucky if this worst experience they have met so far in their lives.

^ and of course they knew the stats and odds—which also helped with perspective.

Dad dying, mom getting sick and almost dying, sports and activity tryouts/cuts. DC took their rejection from Penn in stride.

My kid understands math learned a little about college admissions, so took the rejection in stride. It was worth a shot.

OP - every loss is a growing experience for a child (or anyone). My kids have had much worse loss than college related stuff - it is hard but I do believe it makes them more resilient.
Parents can help them process whatever pain it is. Not hiding it or avoiding it. Feeling it, noticing it, and after that, pivoting. IMO

Anonymous wrote:My kids grew up in NW DC where every extracurricular resource is overabundant

FIFY

My kids grew up in NW DC where every extracurricular resource is scarce and competition for everything is really tough.

By college app time they had both racked up a long series of rejections: multiple travel sports teams, musical roles, private school applications, etc. etc.

They took college rejections in stride.

His mother’s cancer was pretty bad.

We try to provide a safe, comfortable childhood then boom! At the end of it all, the devastating rejection. Will it make them stronger and more resilient or bitter?