I'm sorry for your loses, OP. I too have had several miscarriages and then did fertility treatments that packed on the pounds later in life.
I just bought a book by Amy Englemark, "From Burnout to Bliss- the 21 day plan to boost health, wealth and happiness" and am finally getting back on track with what I perceive is healthy.
Walking, exercising and rediscovering a joy of preparing healthy foods.
Small changes that make me feel better and want to take better care of myself.
Good Luck.