Regrets:
- Getting advice from too many different people. Find a college counselor you and your kid trust and go with that
- Not visiting schools that value demonstrated interest
- Do more work over the summer. Get the main essay and activities list completely done
- Don't assume a high-stats kid will get in anywhere. Being well above 75% for GPA and tests mean nothing at school that are gunning for rankings. Cast a wide net.

Wish he applied to more schools now that he's rejected / deferred from 6.

Anonymous wrote:After going through this with 2 kids recently, try to temper expectations. First DC feel in love with a SLAC and did not get in ED, ended up at an ivy by grace of luck and legacy, and is now happy there- but DC spent quite awhile disappointed by ED result.
Second DC was more open minded, and expecting to not be done until RD round. Without the ED pressure, second DC went EA to reach and was pleasantly surprised.
We all know the process is random and essentially a lottery, but believing it and letting your kids believe it is another thing, Try to get that message across to your kids going through this (and to yourself as well).

Excellent advice (try to temper expectations).

Make a realistic list that includes reaches, targets, and safety scbools (go for that crazy reach, but dont waste an ED on that school), and don't bother applying to any school you wouldn't actually attend.

Anonymous wrote:I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

You will have to pay the extra $20k yearly, not them. Are you going to take parent plus loans? You can still put your foot down! I did - it was hard, there were tears and silence, but now that kid is almost done, I am so happy we went with least expensive option.

Not hiring an independent counselor. The schools ones always put the interests of the school above the interests of your own child. You cannot trust them.

For my kid, not having enough high reaches. My kid did not put any high reaches down because (see above) the counselor made DC feel admissions was extremely unlikely. But my kid got into every single school applied for, including all reaches. I thought that the counselor was too negative and argued with DC about this, and DC now says I was right, in the end.

That having said, we are quite happy with the outcome. DC is going to a SLAC that is a great fit, with a huge amount of merit aid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

How will your kid be borrowing a fortune? Kids are only able to borrow around 5k a year. After that, it’s the parents borrowing.

+1. The FAFSA limit is $5500. Kids can’t take out loans because they have no collateral. It’s parents who must take out loans, refinance etc for undergrad

Anonymous wrote:I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

How will your kid be borrowing a fortune? Kids are only able to borrow around 5k a year. After that, it’s the parents borrowing.

Anonymous wrote:After going through this with 2 kids recently, try to temper expectations. First DC feel in love with a SLAC and did not get in ED, ended up at an ivy by grace of luck and legacy, and is now happy there- but DC spent quite awhile disappointed by ED result.
Second DC was more open minded, and expecting to not be done until RD round. Without the ED pressure, second DC went EA to reach and was pleasantly surprised.
We all know the process is random and essentially a lottery, but believing it and letting your kids believe it is another thing, Try to get that message across to your kids going through this (and to yourself as well).

how is this a regret???

I should never have given in and let my child apply to a school that was beyond our financial means. Four of the school they applied to were within reach and one is close to $20K more a year. I honestly didn't think they'd get into the expensive one based on Naviance, and so I gave in. Well, they got in to all five and of course it's the crazy expensive one that my child has become totally fixated on. They are willing to borrow a fortune to go and nothing I say about not starting life in so much debt is sinking in. But I think that if I had put my foot down during the application process they would have looked elsewhere.

After going through this with 2 kids recently, try to temper expectations. First DC feel in love with a SLAC and did not get in ED, ended up at an ivy by grace of luck and legacy, and is now happy there- but DC spent quite awhile disappointed by ED result.
Second DC was more open minded, and expecting to not be done until RD round. Without the ED pressure, second DC went EA to reach and was pleasantly surprised.
We all know the process is random and essentially a lottery, but believing it and letting your kids believe it is another thing, Try to get that message across to your kids going through this (and to yourself as well).

trusting our counselor

gee I just did my third in four years---and barely learned anything helpful! because it is all such a crapshoot, and things "they" tell you one year turn out to be not true the next.

and I had three relatively high stats kids from good private schools. One lesson certainly learned is not to let GDS college counseling just do what they want to do--they never sent transcript in 2020, blamed the student, wouldnt then reach out to the college to fix it---student and I fixed it and he got in (off the waitlist) and is happily a successful junior there now--but I certainly told the counselors at the other kids schools how little trust I had

None within my control, or perhaps even my son's control.

His extra-curriculars were impacted by Covid. He was not mature enough to think through what he wanted to say in his essays before September of senior year, and he took a LONG time to write them, so it burdened his fall semester significantly. After giving his all to ACT testing and working for high grades, he's now burned out and his grades are lower - I hope none of his colleges rescind admissions.

My second child's college admissions journey will be different, because she won't be impacted by Covid, and she has a pointy EC that she spends many hours on.

OP - so what were your lessons learned? I have a Junior. Thank you for this post - will be reading w interest.

Any regrets or strategies you would do differently? I have one senior in the cycle and another coming up and now that I’m more seasoned I may do a couple things a little different. Of course, different child, different strategy.