Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 08:36     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
Anonymous wrote:Our DS has a relatively rare invisible illness. His (highly competitive) school does not understand his illness and is unwilling to learn about it. He has good days and bad days. On bad days, he will sit through class and not do any classwork and won't remember the day. On good days, he'll get an A+ on a test for which he never studied (b/c he forgot about the test). He's a bright kid and doesn't need or want an "easier" school, but he needs more flexibility. He is good about working ahead and doing his homework on good days, but there are days when he really cannot do anything. His schedule is packed with required school electives and I don't see it getting better in high school. Anyone have experience with a school that is willing to work with a kid with medical issues? Yes, his illness is technically a disability, but I prefer not to go down that road and force accommodations that the school isn't willing to make.


“His illness is technically a disability but I prefer not to go down that road?” Im not sure what you mean by this? The teachers can’t guess whats going on, so you have to tell them, right? How are you requesting accommodation but ‘not going down that road.’ Are you just trying to maintain his privacy? I think it’s hard to say to a teacher “I need you to give extra leeway/help to my son I can’t tell you why but he really deserves it.” Or are you just referring to lawyering up?
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 08:31     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. My advice is time consuming and not fail proof but I would appeal to individual teachers by meeting with them at the beginning of the year and then reminding them periodically about your child's situation.


Teachers can't make accommodations for kid without documented disabilities. It's a policy that protects the school, protects the child, and protects their peers from unfair advantages. In this case it sounds like there is a clear cut need for accommodations, but OP is refusing to use the structure that's in place because of ableism.

Asking a teacher to cheat the system because of her own hang ups isn't reasonable. It's not fair to the teachers, and it's teaching her disabled child that their disability is something to be ashamed of.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 08:28     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
You'll need a note from a doctor for the school to accommodate. Otherwise, what's to prevent every famy from making stuff up to excuse their child from one thing or another. Once you do that, they will accommodate. Just you asking, probably not.

We had one child graduate from public, one from private, both with different accommodations needed. For both the public and the private, it was handled by some teachers better than orhers. In both cases, some teachers needed reminding which we encouraged our children to do, and others just automatically did it. Your child may face something similar
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 08:27     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
Anonymous wrote:Does the school have a full-time nurse? Our K-8 school has both a full-time nurse and a resource center and I would think they would be accommodating for a documented physical condition. My friend has a diabetic daughter and they’ve been great with her. It’s catholic though, which you may not be interested in.


Most independent schools these days and especially the highly competitive ones have learning centers or a specialist who works with kids who need some extra support for all kinds of reasons. Is there one at your school and can you reach out about how to approach?
I heard there was a child with narcolepsy a few years ago at our private and teachers were accommodating. The child graduated or else I wouldn't mention it on this board.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 08:24     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
I'm sorry OP. My advice is time consuming and not fail proof but I would appeal to individual teachers by meeting with them at the beginning of the year and then reminding them periodically about your child's situation.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 08:23     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
Does the school have a full-time nurse? Our K-8 school has both a full-time nurse and a resource center and I would think they would be accommodating for a documented physical condition. My friend has a diabetic daughter and they’ve been great with her. It’s catholic though, which you may not be interested in.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 08:15     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
I would lawyer up OP. They are still required to follow the ADA. My guess is that they don’t believe his illness is impacting his school work. It’s not acceptable for them to say they make no accomodations for mental illness. That’s a different kind of discrimination too — “regarded as” — if they are treating him poorly because they think he has ADHD or whatever.

At a minimum, you need a lawyer to lay the ground work to get out of the contract this year.

And yeah, do explore publics with an IEP.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 07:39     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
You won’t get that in private. You need an IEP or just homeschool.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 07:00     Subject: Re:Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand wanting to distance him from the rest of the disability community. That is the procedure for getting accommodations. The school wants you to use it, your kid will certain benefit from learning how to advocate for himself legally and appropriately.

Can you explain?


If he’s at a mainstream private school, there probably isn’t a disability community.



Kids can be in a community with people who aren’t in their school, but there are kids with disabilities at all the independent schools.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 06:56     Subject: Re:Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand wanting to distance him from the rest of the disability community. That is the procedure for getting accommodations. The school wants you to use it, your kid will certain benefit from learning how to advocate for himself legally and appropriately.

Can you explain?


If he’s at a mainstream private school, there probably isn’t a disability community.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 06:16     Subject: Re:Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
I don’t understand wanting to distance him from the rest of the disability community. That is the procedure for getting accommodations. The school wants you to use it, your kid will certain benefit from learning how to advocate for himself legally and appropriately.

Can you explain?
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 06:08     Subject: Re:Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
My other son experienced a months long physical health issue so he missed school or would be tired and have difficulty completing work. Teachers and school were really understanding.
[Report Post]


What school was understanding?
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 00:54     Subject: Re:Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
OP here. Our DS's issue is physical health issue. I hear what you are saying about mental health issues. If not treated, the physical issues can lead to anxiety (b/c of missed school), and the school made it clear that it would not deal with mental health issues. In our case, as long as our son has some compassion, it's all physical.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 00:43     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
I think it matters if it is a rare health illness or a rare mental health illness? While it shouldn’t matter my experience is schools are much better at accommodating and being more understand and flexible with physical health issues.

One son has anxiety and at his private school they aren’t very understanding. My other son experienced a months long physical health issue so he missed school or would be tired and have difficulty completing work. Teachers and school were really understanding.
Anonymous
Post 03/16/2023 00:16     Subject: Independent Schools to Accommodate Medical Issues?
Our DS has a relatively rare invisible illness. His (highly competitive) school does not understand his illness and is unwilling to learn about it. He has good days and bad days. On bad days, he will sit through class and not do any classwork and won't remember the day. On good days, he'll get an A+ on a test for which he never studied (b/c he forgot about the test). He's a bright kid and doesn't need or want an "easier" school, but he needs more flexibility. He is good about working ahead and doing his homework on good days, but there are days when he really cannot do anything. His schedule is packed with required school electives and I don't see it getting better in high school. Anyone have experience with a school that is willing to work with a kid with medical issues? Yes, his illness is technically a disability, but I prefer not to go down that road and force accommodations that the school isn't willing to make.