Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:31     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Is she too social? Maybe she needs to tone it down and focus more on work unless it’s her job to be social.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:30     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you want the manager to know?

A good manager will take feedback to heart and try to improve.


I want to respect the employee's wishes. She feels he doesn't like her. He doesn't greet her unless she greets him first. She has an overall feeling he's condescending and ignores her. The manager is close to the other team members, so she probably feels left out. She didn't say this, but it's obvious. She IS social and does talk to many people, even other teams. It's impressive how many friends she made in such little time. The manager she is complaining about is awkward.


PP here - thanks for the context.

Unless the manager is impeding her growth or ability to learn/advance, or is actively sabotaging her, then it shouldn’t be an issue. I mean, maybe he doesn’t like her - it happens. (I think it’s unprofessional for him to show this, but alas.) She should just focus on doing her job.


I disagree with this. The manager should make an effort to include her. Ignoring her? Never greeting her? Those are essential skills a manager should have.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:27     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you want the manager to know?

A good manager will take feedback to heart and try to improve.


I want to respect the employee's wishes. She feels he doesn't like her. He doesn't greet her unless she greets him first. She has an overall feeling he's condescending and ignores her. The manager is close to the other team members, so she probably feels left out. She didn't say this, but it's obvious. She IS social and does talk to many people, even other teams. It's impressive how many friends she made in such little time. The manager she is complaining about is awkward.


PP here - thanks for the context.

Unless the manager is impeding her growth or ability to learn/advance, or is actively sabotaging her, then it shouldn’t be an issue. I mean, maybe he doesn’t like her - it happens. (I think it’s unprofessional for him to show this, but alas.) She should just focus on doing her job.


That's not going to work. OP said she was ready to quit. People don't quit jobs; they quit managers. Not everyone is going to stick around to be mistreated. That's why they should hire managers who have good communication skills.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:24     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you want the manager to know?

A good manager will take feedback to heart and try to improve.


I want to respect the employee's wishes. She feels he doesn't like her. He doesn't greet her unless she greets him first. She has an overall feeling he's condescending and ignores her. The manager is close to the other team members, so she probably feels left out. She didn't say this, but it's obvious. She IS social and does talk to many people, even other teams. It's impressive how many friends she made in such little time. The manager she is complaining about is awkward.


PP here - thanks for the context.

Unless the manager is impeding her growth or ability to learn/advance, or is actively sabotaging her, then it shouldn’t be an issue. I mean, maybe he doesn’t like her - it happens. (I think it’s unprofessional for him to show this, but alas.) She should just focus on doing her job.


They have to work very close to each other. It's very hard to ignore this.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:23     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Anonymous wrote:Do you have actual examples of the manager being condescending or is this just the employee saying this?


She gave many examples, especially in the first few days of him being harsh with her. The guy didn't even introduce himself to her. It sounds like he lacks social skills. I am new to the organization. I have only been here since January.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:22     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you want the manager to know?

A good manager will take feedback to heart and try to improve.


I want to respect the employee's wishes. She feels he doesn't like her. He doesn't greet her unless she greets him first. She has an overall feeling he's condescending and ignores her. The manager is close to the other team members, so she probably feels left out. She didn't say this, but it's obvious. She IS social and does talk to many people, even other teams. It's impressive how many friends she made in such little time. The manager she is complaining about is awkward.


PP here - thanks for the context.

Unless the manager is impeding her growth or ability to learn/advance, or is actively sabotaging her, then it shouldn’t be an issue. I mean, maybe he doesn’t like her - it happens. (I think it’s unprofessional for him to show this, but alas.) She should just focus on doing her job.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:20     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you want the manager to know?

A good manager will take feedback to heart and try to improve.


I want to respect the employee's wishes. She feels he doesn't like her. He doesn't greet her unless she greets him first. She has an overall feeling he's condescending and ignores her. The manager is close to the other team members, so she probably feels left out. She didn't say this, but it's obvious. She IS social and does talk to many people, even other teams. It's impressive how many friends she made in such little time. The manager she is complaining about is awkward.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:15     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Do you have actual examples of the manager being condescending or is this just the employee saying this?
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:15     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Why don’t you want the manager to know?

A good manager will take feedback to heart and try to improve.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:14     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Anonymous wrote:Is this a role where someone could reasonably observe and give the manager feedback? That way the new hire won’t be seen as a tattletale?


Unless he's a moron, he will be on his best behavior.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:12     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Is this a role where someone could reasonably observe and give the manager feedback? That way the new hire won’t be seen as a tattletale?
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:07     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Anonymous wrote:‘Without the manager knowing’

Sis…according to your own post, the manager is the problem and needs to know he/she is the problem!!!


It was a request by the employee.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:04     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

‘Without the manager knowing’

Sis…according to your own post, the manager is the problem and needs to know he/she is the problem!!!
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:03     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Stop trying to protect the manager. If it’s a legitimate complaint, get it on paper. If he/she does it to this person, he/she will do it to the next.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2023 10:02     Subject: Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

Is there a tactful way to handle this without the manager knowing? She's a new hire. She's ready to quit over this and we need her. She works hard, is friendly and well-liked overall. This is the first time hearing something about this manager, but again, she came to me as a last resort. She gave examples and they were valid.